Be a Doll(54)

I wasn’t here to seduce my husband and add some spice to our marriage. As crude as it was, I was here to get a way overdue orgasm given by my husband, a man I had a hard time figuring out or even liking.

I leaned back on the couch. “This is so screwed up,’’ I whispered under my breath just when Elizabeth in the TV series Blacklist used her gun, making me jump in fright. I was decidedly on edge.

My phone buzzed on the coffee table signaling an incoming text. I frowned at the iPhone and leaned above the screen to check who could be texting me considering nobody had my number other than Mathis, his mother and sister.

And of course it was my husband.

I stared at the screen without touching it until it turned back to black. I had never had the full teenage experience with boys when I had been of age because I was too busy trying to find a way out of the foster system as I kept on landing in abusive families or with overcrowded families and kids acting out way too often. In one word, I had lived a nightmare in which I never felt safe and boys and puppy love hadn’t been anywhere on my radar. Survival had been. But now, even if this had nothing to do with puppy love, I was truly feeling what I supposed you went through at fifteen when a boy texted you and you wanted to do things with him.

I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity and snatched the iPhone from the table and pressed open the text.



Where are you? I’m on my way.



As if on cue, my palms started to sweat and my heart took off again. My whole body warmed and my skin tingled in anticipation of Mathis’ touch. It had been so long since I had sex last and I was desperate for it, a complete victim to my libido as if I had no self-control. A part of me was disappointed I so easily broke my own vow to myself, that it was so easy and quick to make me fold to my husband’s whim, but another part of me screamed in my head that I deserved some fun, that I deserved a break. That I deserved to finally let go and just be.

No pretenses, just sex in its rawest form.

Mathis could give me that. I had no doubt about it. But the fact remained, afterward I had no idea how I would react, how living with him and sharing a bed would be once he would get his fun elsewhere, because I was sure it would happen. There had never been any mention of fidelity in our arrangement and in fact, he had been quite honest in stating he wouldn’t bother being faithful to a woman he only had a use of for as business. I didn’t blame him and I could thank him for his honesty. At least, I was married to a brutally honest man and not one who would get off on seducing his wife, saying sweet nothings just to discard her like a used tissue once he got what he wanted.

Mathis for all his despicable ways, was honest and I appreciated that about him. Along with his good looks and even his darkness called out to me in a way I couldn’t begin to explain to myself.

My phone buzzed again, drawing my eyes back to it in my hand, slipping through my fingers from the light coat of sweat there.



You better be home, Lila.



I frowned and right when I started typing something scathing back, I heard keys in the front door. My head snapped up as my eyes bore into the door, my breathing already getting faster. I dropped my phone on the couch somewhere next to me and watched the door opening.

In some sugary movie, that’s where they would probably use slow motion when the man walks in and we all know what’s bound to happen between the two characters, but here, in reality it seemed to be happening too fast.

In a matter of the blink of an eye the door opened and Mathis Grimes stood there in all his splendor. Still clad in the same suit, he was standing tall and larger than life on the threshold. One hand, big and strong, held the door while his other one was clenched tightly around his set of keys. His suit jacket was unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely around his neck. Then, my eyes met his; so dark and burning I shivered. Even at a distance I felt the potency of his stare, the power brewing underneath his cold and distant exterior.

He didn’t move from the threshold and I didn’t leave my seat on the couch.

“No answer to my text, Lila? What are you trying to play at?’’

His icy voice should douse some of the first signs of my growing arousal, but it didn’t. If anything, my core clenched and my breasts became heavier in the confines of my bra. He had me twisted and upside down and I was at a point where I didn’t care anymore.

“I’m not playing.’’

His head tilted, eyes on mine and lips in between his teeth, it was difficult for me to stay put and wait for his next move. My whole body buzzed with need, with an urgency I didn’t remember ever feeling in the past. Not to this extreme.

He released his lower lip from the trap of his white teeth and I let my eyes enjoy the spectacle of his lip, darker than before and with a slight shine to it. Tasting him, hearing the hitch in his breathing, feeling his hardened cock… that was all I wanted, all that mattered at that moment. I was reduced to a mindless pool of lust and it didn’t even register in my head to be cautious and to second guess what would happen.

“Aren’t you?’’ he asked and finally moved.

He took a step inside and closed the door without tearing his eyes from me. With one quick glance on his left he dropped his keys in the big pot on the console and then walked toward me, his eyes boring into me.

That stare alone was foreplay.

It spoke of touches, intimate and teasing. It spoke of kisses. It spoke of sex without holding back. It spoke of orgasms, powerful and probably blinding.