Awakening Book One of the Trust Series(98)

“I know.”

“You lied. Everything I know about you is a lie.”

She saw the hurt in his eyes and knew that the words stung him. “Kit Kat-I can promise you that is not true.”

The deceit she had been feeling from his omissions and the guilt from her own betrayal over the past few weeks were finally catching up to her. In truth, it was exhausting her. Caitlyn set the empty coffee mug she had been holding on the table. “Garrett, if you only knew how much I want to believe that. With all my heart and soul, I do. But there are certain facts, that can’t be denied. Your father is head of the Cine Tofa. You never told me, never trusted me with that information. How do you think it felt to have been filled in on your past by someone else? I insisted that you had no part in the Cine Tofa, and yet I found out you lived with your father for three years, basically being groomed to take his place.”

“I can explain that, Caitlyn. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lie to you or keep my past from you. But I had no choice.”

She stared at him coolly. “There are always choices, Garrett. You claim that you love me, and you talk about a future for us. How do you think there can be a future when you can’t even share the past?”

Garrett tried to reach out to hold her hand, but she pulled it out of his reach. “There were reasons I lied, Caitlyn. I had to keep my identity secret. The Trust required it. My mother taught me never to talk about it and the Trust emphasized that I could not tell you when I was chosen for mentorship. I would have put us in danger if the general members of the Trust knew. We would have been targets. It was for your safety as well. People would have naturally assumed that you were Cine Tofa, too.”

“Regardless if there were legitimate reasons, Garrett, there is more than just omissions that I have concerns about.”

“Such as?”

She looked down, gathering her thoughts. She could forgive him for not telling her of his past with his father, but the next part was a difference in ideals. Quietly, she continued. “You led me on. I discovered that most of your core beliefs fall in line with the Cine Tofa. You taught me to believe in the Trust, what they stood for, and most of all, believe in you. My belief in you had to be unwavering. I knew no one except for you, I was overwhelmed with the enormity of the Awakening, and I had to let myself believe you would never lead me astray. How can my trust with you be anything but shattered?”

Garrett never denied Caitlyn’s accusations. It was hard to tell if this appeased her or if it angered her more. A part of her had been hoping that he was going to deny this, state that he hated the Cine Tofa and their ideals, that she had been fed lies about him. Instead, she took his silence as confirmation.

“I thought I was falling for one person and you perpetuated that lie. I know you and I certainly don’t have the same belief system. How could you even consider belonging to a group like the Cine Tofa?”

Garrett opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “Caitlyn, you want to live in a world where you believe that everything is perfect, that it is all black and white. Good vs. Evil. It’s not like that.”

“The Cine Tofa is an extremist organization whose radical beliefs are going to destroy this world.”

Caitlyn could tell that Garrett’s blood pressure rose at that comment and his voice took on a slightly colder edge. “Spoken like a perfect soldier for the Trust. Declan must have spent hours drilling that into you. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you need to step out of the little perfect imaginary world that you are living in, because let me assure you, there are many, many shades of gray. The Trust has its own dark secrets even though your new mentor may have tried to convince you otherwise.”

Caitlyn stood up. “Oh, I understand shades of gray, Garrett. I understand that you don’t have a problem with muddling with the truth, making it fit to your own needs.”

“Grow up, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn was surprised at the turn this conversation had taken. Garrett and she had always spoken to each other cordially, even when having a disagreement. This obviously hit a nerve with the both of them.

“Oh, I think this whole experience has forced me to grow up. I just wasn’t asking to be lied to like a child from my lover.”

“Maybe if you did not act like a child sometimes…”

She was beginning to seethe with anger. Her heart felt betrayed. She knew the next line was a low blow, but she said it anyway. If he wanted her to act like a child, so be it. “So Daddy decided he wanted you back, did he?”