Awakening Book One of the Trust Series(95)

“You didn’t know what to say? Really? Is that all you’ve got?”

“What do you want me to do?”

Caitlyn tugged at her hair frustratingly. “How about talk about what passed between us? You sound as if you suddenly regret it.”

“I don’t regret it. In fact, very far from it.” He took a step closer to her, wanting to stay near her.

“Well then, if not that, then what?”

He looked sharply into her eyes. “There just hasn’t been time to process what happened.” Declan lied. Truth was, the kiss invaded every other waking thought he had. He motioned for both of them to sit down on the couch and Declan stared at the discarded magazine that now lay on the floor. He grabbed her hands. “The kiss was amazing. But there isn’t…” he trailed off.

“There isn’t what?” Her eyes darkened and then became embarrassed. “Did you not think there was a spark between us?”

He couldn’t help but smirk at the comment. He leaned in, his lips now pressed very close to her ear, and heard her catch her breath. “Caitlyn,” he murmured affectionately. “There was most definitely a spark.”

He pulled his lips away from her ear and cupped her small face in both of his hands, staring into her depths, his lips only a few inches from where they wanted to be. He felt the heat of her breath; saw the longing in her eyes, and the anticipation that waited on that mouth. All he had to do was lean in, show her exactly how much he wanted her, and confirm that she wanted him in the same way.

It would be so easy. Just Caitlyn and Declan, together. But life, in reality, was never that easy. Declan now had a major responsibility placed on him, and it was something he did not take lightly. Four hours ago, he was going to fight for her. Four hours ago, he was going ask her to think long and hard about whom she really wanted. And now, he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to ask Caitlyn to choose him when he wouldn’t even be around. She deserved to be loved the way she should be.

He closed his eyes, cursing for the first time his life. He couldn’t hide the sorrow in his voice. “There isn’t time.”

“There is not time for what?”

He pulled himself away from her. The moment was gone. “For me. For us. For me to fight for you.”

Her head cocked slightly as it often did when she did not like hearing what Declan was telling her. “You are talking in circles.”

“Caitlyn, you still care for Garrett, don’t you? There is no way that because of one… indiscretion, every feeling that you have for him simply went away.”

The answer that he was met with was silence. Declan had wished that her answer would have been an emphatic no, but he was not naïve enough to think that. His words were quiet. “See? You still have unresolved feelings for him that you need time to work out. There is a lot that needs to be said between the both of you. For what it is worth, Caitlyn, I understand. Besides, you are probably better off with him.” Another lie Declan tried to convince himself was the truth.

“Is that so?”

“Caitlyn… life has gotten complex to say the least over the past few weeks for me. The Trust has me running around, trying to resolve endless issues that have arisen. And now… well, things are coming to a head. I can’t go into many details, but I’ve been ordered away, on business for an extended period of time.”

“Ordered away? Doing what exactly?”

“You will hear about it soon enough. It’s unavoidable. Let’s just say that these are going to be some trying times, and my focus needs to be on the Trust right now. It needs to be on our people.”

“I can help, Declan.”

He smiled. “And you will. But right now, you need to finish your mentoring.”

“You are going to be away.”

Declan turned his face away from her. “Arrangements have been made for a temporary mentor to take over.”

“No! I won’t do another mentor. Declan, I’m finished. I can already do more than the vast majority of the Actuals in the Trust. Just let me take the Threshold. I’m ready.”

“You are ready, but I’m being selfish. If I let you take the Threshold now, I will miss it. And your Threshold is going to be special, Caitlyn. As your mentor, as your friend, as your…” he stopped. He was not that and did not think he would ever have the opportunity to be that. “Well, I am just asking that you give me the opportunity to be part of it. Besides, with any luck, I will return in a few weeks for a little bit to arrange your testing.”