Atonement(68)
It was turning out to be one of the best dates we’d ever had and my head began to spin in a pleasant way from vodka tonics and the musky scent of Calvin Klein’s Contradiction, which I loved to smell on him.
“It’s gettin’ late but I don’t mind…it’s gettin’ late but I don’t mind…it’s gettin’ late but I don’t mind…it’s gettin’ late but I don’t mind,” we sang together and continued to dance.
We stayed on the dance floor for several more dance tunes before we walked back to our table, I finished my vodka tonic in one swallow and Colin ordered us more drinks.
“You see, you always underestimate yourself. You can tear up the dance floor, high heels and all. You are an amazing woman and I thank God—even if I admit to not being a true believer—that you were allowed to come into my life and change it. You have brought me out of a dark tunnel of loneliness, sadness and despair. Baby, don’t you ever feel bad about that. Meeting you has been the single best thing that has ever happened in my life,” Colin said as we waited on our drinks.
I grabbed his hands and held them in my own. “Baby, what do you expect me to say? You brought me back from the brink. I was the walking dead before you came along and I can’t thank you enough for bringing me back to life. I love you more than I have ever loved any man in my life and that says a lot. I want to be with you always and you better f*cking feel the same about me.”
He leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “That goes without saying. I am so f*cking in love with you I would die if you left me. You said I am a gentleman but I’m not. I want you to be with me always and you better say yes.”
The answer to his statement was on the tip of my tongue when the waitress brought our drinks and set them down in front of us. I sipped from my vodka tonic with its three pieces of ice cubes while Colin drank a whiskey sour. He swigged it down in several swallows.
“You know I want to be with you more than anyone else, sweetheart. Why you have to ask that question at all though I realize it wasn’t a question but a statement and the answer to your question is yes, I want to be with you always.”
“You mean that? I know we probably have had more than our share to drink and I don’t want to force you into something you’re not ready for because we have moved very fast. I know that and so do you but I still believe what we have is very real and I know you do too.”
“I know but some romances aren’t meant to take months and years to develop. Sometimes, feelings are too strong and the attraction is just so powerful, our hearts open without our permission and we have to go along with it.”
Colin grabbed my hands and looked at me with gorgeous crystal eyes. “You’re perfect.”
I smiled in return. “We both know that isn’t true but it’s nice to hear it never-the-less.”
BY THE TIME we arrived back to our apartment, both our engines were revving into the red zone and all we could think about was sating our lust for one another by burying one another in each other’s arms.
The feeling was absolutely addictive and although I often wondered if it would ever happen, so far, devouring each other sexually had been, without a doubt, one of my most cherished memories about our trip.
If I could narrow it down to one feeling alone, it would have been contentment. Colin always made me feel special and unique, like I truly was the only woman in the world for him and I, in turn, responded to every kiss and caress. That night was no different. We could make love hundreds of times and never did it feel like we were going through the same old routine. Our love life always felt fresh and new, like the first time without all the awkward feelings and emotions that came with the initial experience of sex with a new partner.
I didn’t have the best track record mainly because I’d only shared myself sexually with three men. Although not adverse, I had never gotten around to trying out a lesbian relationship so sharing my body with someone wholly familiar was not a concept I was overly familiar with. The most recent time it had happened other than with Colin had, ironically, been his brother, and strangely, that hadn’t been awkward at all. True, it was ultimately lust and little else but sleeping with Liam felt like coming home to familiar territory, not an entirely new and alien experience.
Perhaps that’s what made it so easy to be with Colin. They were brothers after all and although I could admit there was a real feeling of love and compassion between us, he never felt like a stranger. His scent, the warmth of his body took absolutely no time for me to get used to at all. He was perfect and that made our relationship thrilling and unique but all the more exciting and real.