Atonement(52)

“Are you still there?” Caitlyn inquired crossly.

“Yeah, I am, what’s up?”

“You tell me.”

“What are you on about?”

“Why didn’t you disclose to me you f*cked my boyfriend?” she questioned in an angry voice. “I don’t exactly appreciate the fact that we are about to become intimate and he decides it’s true confessions time and thinks I need to know you two had an affair.”

I almost laughed out loud but then realized that wouldn’t be the smartest move to make. “I’m sorry—what did you just say? Liam and I didn’t have an affair, Cait, we had a one night stand before he started seeing you and I started dating Colin. That, my dear, is a huge difference and if you don’t see that then more fool you.”

“Is that the excuse you’re going to use this time?” My sister inquired derisively on the other end as I could slowly feel my beer buzz fade away and my heart thud painfully in my chest. “It wasn’t some kind of wham bam thing, Deirdre. He told me he spent the night with you, what he did to you, how you insisted he wear a condom because he wanted to bareback—he was completely open and honest with me so my question is why couldn’t you have been.”

I was going to need that cigarette after all and bummed one off two guys speaking in quick German. I knew enough of the language to ask for a cigarette and one obliged me quite welcomingly before he lit it.

I inhaled the smoke and exhaled as I replied, “Where is all this going and what does this have to do with the relationship you now have with Liam? He told you because he didn’t want there to be any lies or deceit between you two or maybe he told you because he thought I would tell you as a way to warn you away from him? Who the f*ck knows why guys do what they do but I am telling you this now: that night between us wasn’t a mistake but it’s not something I ever want to happen again. Does that satisfy you or at least make you feel better about the situation?”

“No, not really because you didn’t tell me the truth. I realize now I would have rather heard it from you than him and I know…I know it happened before we started dating but I still feel a sense of betrayal from you and when Colin finds out, so will he,” she explained.

I knew she was quietly sobbing on the other end. My sister was one of the strongest people I knew but when she broke down and her façade cracked, it was ugly. She would sob and the worst part about the whole situation was she still wouldn’t admit to her weaknesses. She would claim something was in her eye, she’d worn her contacts too long and needed to rest her eyes—any excuse she could think of except she was upset and she needed to cry.

“I’m sorry this hurt you so deeply because it was not my intention at all. As I said before, I didn’t cheat because you two were not an item and neither was Colin or I—”

“Are you going to seriously stand where ever you are and tell me you didn’t like Colin the same night you f*cked Liam?”

It was my turn to scoff. “Of course I did but that didn’t mean I was ready to spread my legs for him—”

“But you were willing to spread them for Liam so I guess that makes it all right?”

“Goddamn it, Caitlyn, wait!” I screamed but she’d ended the call.

It took everything in me not to throw the phone against the wall but I gathered my courage and walked back to the beer hall after I’d finished my smoke. I knew Colin smelled it on me because we sat in a booth and he slid his arms around my waist and held me closer. Fresh beer steins had replaced the previous ones and we both had full glasses of lager to drink.

“Uh oh, someone has been a naughty girl,” he whispered as he kissed my neck.

His warm lips on my numb skin seemed to bring it back to life. And that is when I really considered my situation and how Caitlyn felt. She had no real reason to be angry with me unless she wanted to keep the size of Liam’s cock all to herself. Fat chance that would have happened as half the women in Seattle probably knew the size and girth of said cock in question.

So why had she decided to attack me? Because I was close and now I was in a healthy relationship with Colin. To her, it wasn’t fair. How dare I have a passionate one night stand with the man who now belonged to her and then move on to his brother! It was such a whorish thing to do and I would be the first to admit the error of my ways but at the time of the incident, nothing was written in stone and there was absolutely no proof Colin and I would end up together, European vacation regardless.