Ash Princess (Ash Princess Trilogy #1)(99)

“An inch lower,” he whispers against my lips. When I comply, a smile ghosts across his face, though it doesn’t make it to his eyes. “There it is. Now strike hard and true, Thora.”

I don’t want to see his face when I kill him, but I can’t look away. “My name is…” I break off, taking a steadying breath. “My name is Theodosia,” I say quietly.

Confusion flickers across his expression before clearing. “Theodosia.” It’s the first time my real name has crossed his lips, and it sounds almost reverent. He rests his forehead against mine so that his eyes are all I see. “You know what to do.”

He’s right, I know exactly what to do. It’s the same thing, more or less, that I did to Ampelio—my father. Killing the Prinz shouldn’t be more difficult than that, surely, but in this moment he’s just S?ren, the sad-eyed lost boy who once let cats follow him everywhere, who befriended his bastard brother no matter the threat it posed, who kissed me like maybe we had the power to save one another.

And I can’t watch him die any more than I could have watched Crescentia.

The dagger slips from my hand and clatters to the stone floor, echoing around us, and I shove him away. He looks as shocked as I am. He truly thought I would do it, and I’m not sure if I should be proud of that or not.

He crouches down to pick the dagger up and I expect him to press it to my own skin, but he only stares at it for a moment before tucking it into the waist of his breeches. A moment passes in silence before he speaks, his voice quiet but strong.

“You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to, but I know I need to get you away from here—away from him. We can run away tonight, just like we talked about. I made that promise to you, so please let me keep it.”

My throat tightens so much that I can’t speak, only nod. He thinks he’s safe and I can’t blame him for that. He doesn’t know that Blaise is out there, waiting. I might not have been able to do it, but Blaise will.



* * *



—

A storm whips through the air as soon as we step out of the tunnel. I can’t imagine how S?ren is planning on sailing through it, but he seems strangely calm, his face carved white marble in the moonlight. If it weren’t for how tightly he’s clutching my hand in his, I wouldn’t know he was nervous at all. I try not to look at him; I try not to even think about him walking next to me.

It’s too dark to see Blaise’s boat from the shore, but I know it’s out there somewhere in the inky waves.

“My father will send men,” S?ren says, pulling me out of my thoughts. “But he doesn’t have many friends among his warriors. I do. I’m hoping that will count for something if we’re caught. But my ship is fast and light. Anything my father sends out for me will be weighed down with a heavier crew and artillery. We’ll outpace them by miles.”

I nod, trying to look placated, but my mind is still churning. I’ll get him on the boat, just far enough away from shore that Blaise will be the only one around to hear me when I scream. He’ll come quickly, and in the meantime I can tell S?ren I saw a rat or some similar lie to keep him unaware until Blaise comes on board and slits his throat.

And then…

And then I’ll be free. The thought sends a delicious shiver down my spine. Free is something I haven’t been in ten years. And as soon as I can, I’ll free my people as well.

When we’re mere feet from the shore, S?ren’s grip on my hand tightens painfully and he pushes me behind him, trapping me between his body and the cresting waves. Sea spray mists my ankles. I hear them before I see them, boots marching in tandem on the beach, a shout turned to gibberish in the wind, the clatter of swords being drawn from their scabbards. A dozen of the Kaiser’s men approach over the sand dunes from all sides, surrounding us and effectively trapping us between them and the water.

“Go,” S?ren whispers, nudging me into the water, toward the ship. I turn and take half a step before stopping short. The waters that were clear only a moment ago are already filling with ships. Even with Blaise lying in wait nearby, I don’t stand half a chance of escaping. And even if I manage to get to Blaise before they catch me, even if we manage to escape them for a time, we’ll lead them straight to where the others are waiting.

I won’t do that. Artemisia was right: I am expendable.

So I stand with S?ren and squeeze his hand as the soldiers close in around us, and I let him believe I’m doing it because I can’t leave him behind. Maybe it will earn me a measure of mercy, though I doubt the Kaiser will be moved by the display.

In front of me, S?ren forces himself to seem casual as they approach.

“Your Highness,” the head guard says, his voice wary. He’s the guard with the scar, the one Heron decided to frame.

“Johan,” S?ren replies, a smile in his voice. “What brings you lot out here tonight?”

But Johan isn’t swayed. “I should ask you the same,” he says. He tries to get a look at me, but S?ren blocks him, hiding me from view.

“I had hoped for a midnight rendezvous, but I’m afraid you’ve quite ruined that plan.” He sounds like the petulant prinz I once believed him to be.

“And that wouldn’t happen to be the Ash Princess you’re off to rendezvous with, would it?” Johan asks, sounding like he already knows the answer.