As She Fades(42)

No. I wasn’t. I wasn’t perfect at all. I reached a hand out and began to unsnap his hiking shorts. “I disagree,” I said simply.

His hand covered mine and he said my name in a sigh. “If you do that, I’ll want more. It’s taking all my self-control not to grab you and press you against that tree and lose my fucking mind just from being inside you.”

The way he said it wasn’t pretty, but they were real words. Descriptive words—and I wanted it. My body was pulsing for it. “Please,” I said without any fear. Because I didn’t fear Slate. I trusted him.

“Vale,” he whispered in a choked voice. I continued with his shorts until they were at his feet. Then I began tugging my panties down as I watched him. I was being brave. I was being more wanton than I’d ever been in my life. Even with Crawford I’d never been this brave. When we’d had sex, it had been shy and almost awkward at times.

I was naked outside with a man and I wanted it. This was different.

He finished undressing himself, then paused. He reached for his shorts and pulled out a condom from his wallet. I didn’t question that. This was Slate Allen. And I was thankful he was prepared. Protection had been the last thing on my mind, but knowing he was trying to keep me safe meant something.

He scooped up his discarded shirt, and then picked me up as he began kissing me again, walking us back to a picnic table. When he set me down on my feet, he placed his shirt on the table, then put his hands on my hips and lifted me onto the shirt. “I imagined this. A million fucking times. Each time, you were somewhere special. Not on a picnic table in the woods.”

His words made me smile. I couldn’t think of anywhere more perfect. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “This is exactly what I imagined,” I teased, making him chuckle.

“God, I want you.” His voice was harsh as he pulled me tightly against him, pressing my breasts flush against his chest. My thighs opened, and I could feel his erection pressing exactly where I needed it to be. “Please,” I begged, lifting my hips.

He slipped inside me then, and I knew my world would never be the same. I grabbed his arms and threw my head back as he filled me over and over again. The sweet friction and heat from his body made me crazy for more.

“Fuck,” he groaned as I rocked my hips hard against him, needing it all. That was the only invitation he needed to make his thrusts deeper, with more power. Exactly what I needed. I told him so and he said my name in a hoarse whisper.

I lifted my legs to press my knees against his hip bones and he slid even farther inside me, making us both cry out.

“Fucking heaven,” he said, grabbing my hips and getting rougher with me as his eyes dilated to the point that the green was gone. He looked like a man lost to his own pleasure, and that sent me over the edge. I fell back on my hands and lifted my hips as I screamed his name, and I’m pretty sure God was mentioned too as my body was racked with wave after wave of euphoria.

Slate’s roar of release was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. His fingers bit into my skin and I hoped they left marks. To remind me how beautiful this was.

When my breathing finally slowed, I was being gathered into his arms as he slowly pulled out of me. I wrapped my arms around his back, and we stayed like that for several seconds. I couldn’t imagine anything ruining this moment. It was even better than I’d expected.

“I’m in love with you.” Slate’s words should have shocked me. But they didn’t. Not after that. I had felt it. This was the change in my life I never saw coming. It was the gift I didn’t know I wanted. My path had just turned into something different. And I was happy.

If only this moment could last forever.

But eventually, like with all good dreams … you have to wake up.





PART TWO

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.

—Theodore Roethke, “The Waking”





CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

VALE

IT WAS BLURRY. What was blurry I don’t know, but I had a hard time focusing. There were noises around me I didn’t understand and I felt strapped down. Opening my mouth, I tried to say something, when I heard a voice shout loud enough to leave a ringing in my ears.

“She’s awake!”

Who’s awake? I wondered. Then, in my vision, I saw someone I knew. A face that gave me reassurance. My mother.

“Vale? Sweetheart?” Her voice was becoming clear and she was talking softer now. I liked the way her voice made me feel.

I was Vale McKinley. I knew that, too. So why didn’t I know where I was or what was happening?

“Jonathon, go call the boys,” my mother said. Jonathon was my dad and the boys were my brothers. There were four of them. Dylan, Michea, Jonah, and Knox. Why was she calling them?

“Mom,” I said finally, and my throat felt raw as I said the words.

“Shhh, don’t talk just yet,” she said as she looked down at me with tears in her eyes. I noticed her face was thinner, with dark circles under her eyes. Was she sick?

I started to ask, when two women and a man moved my mother out of the way and began working around me. Talking to me and calling me by name. It took me a moment to realize they were nurses. Turning my head, I finally noticed my surroundings and realized this was a hospital.