Anarchy (Hive Trilogy, #2)(23)
As the trees thinned, I emerged out into a large open space. I could see the high, wired fences in the distance, and hear cars, so I was probably close to the front entrance. It took me about five seconds to recognize where I had ended up. Since arriving here I’d tried to avoid this particular spot, consciously and subconsciously. I really hadn’t wanted to deal with it. But of course, like all suppressed things, something eventually forces them to the surface.
Sucking in a deep breath, I squared my shoulders, got all brave and stomped across to the very spot where I had been dragged and almost raped. Everything looked a little different now. The ground was rough, the grass browning off and starting to die. The last time it had been dark, the shadows casting the entire world into something that seemed sinister and petrifying.
Crouching down, I dropped both of my hands into the grass, scraping across the hard dirt below. I had fought my attackers, but there were two of them and they were so much stronger than me. I knew at the time there was no way for me to escape, and that if I just lay there and accepted my fate, they might let me live.
But of course, I would have preferred death over letting those two animals think they had broken me. I was a fighter.
I had to squeeze my eyes tightly as images and emotions flashed through me. It was disorienting and overwhelming, mostly because I had refused to let myself dwell on it too much. After it happened I wouldn’t speak on it, only giving my mom and Tessa the very barest of information. I had gotten very good at suppressing that night, and instead had focused on becoming physically stronger. Emotional strength, as always, was a lot harder.
It took me a while, sitting there on that cold, hard ground, eyes closed, emotions a mess, tears leaking from my eyes. Eventually the ache in my chest and stomach started to abate, until I could finally open my eyes and see the world around me again.
On the rare occasions I allowed myself to remember that night, it was only to wonder who the male was who had saved me. At the time I’d been out of it, overcome with fear, and the entire thing came back in flashes. But the Viking male, with his broad, strong and kind face, was permanently imprinted on my mind. A vampire who was actually caring enough to stop a human female from being raped. Seemed as if Lucas wasn’t the only one I could trust, but Viking vamp had completely disappeared.
It kind of made me sad that I would never know his name.
My legs protested as I straightened. I wondered how long I’d been crouched there for. Probably long enough that someone in the Hive was looking for me. No doubt the enforcers had realized I was not with Jayden and were probably storming the place searching for me.
Shit! I hadn’t meant to stay out this long. It was a real * move to make them worry about me. Stupid memories.
I spun around, preparing to sprint my butt back through the trees, knowing I was going to get majorly ass-kicked by Ryder, which I totally deserved. But before I could even take a step, the figure standing about three yards from me had me grinding to a halt. The enforcer looked kind of pissed off, and yet at the same time he didn’t.
I cautiously approached Ryder, wondering if he was going to throw me over his shoulder and spank me or something. More importantly, did I want him to and was that even a punishment?
“I’m sorry,” I said, as I stepped closer. “I really just wanted a minute by myself. Some fresh air. I got a bit … distracted.”
Ryder’s eyes flicked across to where I’d been crouched, before coming back to rest on my face. “It’s okay, you’re not a prisoner. I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
Those were surprisingly calm and reasonable words from my hotheaded boyfriend. Yeah, I totally used the B-word. Couldn’t think of what else to call him, and I liked having the claim on him. I paused inches from him, my body doing that thing where it gravitated toward him, like he was the magnet pulling my metal form straight into his grasp.
“What happened here, Charlie?”
Both of our gazes shifted back to the spot behind me. He must have been standing there for some time. He had seen my little breakdown. His hand brushed across my cheek, and I felt a slide of wetness.
“You were crying.” His voice went a little low and growly, and I knew that the calm, collected dude was about to disappear.
I pressed my cheek tighter to his palm, allowing his warmth to eliminate some of the cold which had seeped into my skin. I lifted my eyes to meet his blaze of swirling silver. The black was almost gone at the moment.
“I should have told you this a while ago, but there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up.” I shrugged a little, trying to make it seem less intense than it was. “The day that I woke up in the hospital wing was not the first time I was in the Hive. The first time was about a year before my ash genetics kicked in.”
If I hadn’t been watching so closely, I would have missed the tightening of his features. He was working very hard to remain calm, but I was starting to get a good read on him, and I knew he was upset.
I didn’t want to be there any longer, I didn’t want the negative energy seeping into me and Ryder. I laced our fingers together and led him away, back through the forest and out into a small patch of sunlight which had some flat rocks scattered around for us to sit on. The entire walk I felt Ryder growing grimmer and tenser, and I realized that starting my speech and not finishing it was the worst thing I could have done. He was probably imagining a bunch of terrible things.