An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(68)

“Well, you’re going to soak in the tub while I make us some breakfast.”

A fist of ice gripped Rob’s heart. He’d used that tone himself when he’d had sex with girls. Dismissive, not really interested in their feelings or questions.

“No, I mean….” He couldn’t get the words to come out.

Vic reached up to lay a finger across Rob’s lips. “Shh. I know what you mean. I just don’t have the answer yet. What we did?” He chuckled. “If word of last night ever got to the club, I would never live it down.”

Rob brushed aside Vic’s finger. “What do you mean?”

Vic grinned. “I have never come so quickly, and that’s saying something. Usually when sex is part of a scene, I’m the last one to come. But last night? That was something else.”

Rob stiffened at the mention of a scene, unwilling to think about Vic with someone else. Then he shook himself. Will you just get over it? It was sex, pure and simple. Don’t make it out to be more than it was.

Except Vic was certainly doing that.

And Vic was regarding him closely, like he was trying to peer inside Rob’s head.

“But last night wasn’t a scene,” Vic continued quietly. “Last night was two men enjoying each other. And as far as what I’m used to, it was pretty vanilla.” He locked gazes with Rob. “BDSM is a part of my life. I can’t be vanilla, Rob. Not for anyone.”

That comment sent a flare of anger through him. “Who the hell is asking you to? Did I say something that would lead you to believe I wasn’t interested in that part of your life? What will it take to show you? Maybe you need to tie me up? Whip me?” Frustration boiled up inside him. “What do you want from me?”

“What do you want from yourself?”

Rob stood and immediately regretted it when his arse throbbed. That didn’t stop him from turning to face Vic. “Stop doing that! Just fucking stop. Why do you have to turn the questions back on me?”

“Because the sub holds the power, Rob.” Vic’s voice was calm. “And if you were with me, that’s what you would be. A submissive. My submissive. Are you ready to let go and give yourself to me?”

Rob stifled the urge to roll his eyes. “Uh, pretty sure we did that a few hours ago.”

“You know what I mean. I need to know you’re 100 percent committed to this, because it won’t work if you have any hesitation at all. I’m willing to train you, to work with you to accept your submission, but I don’t want it if you’re only going to try and do things on your terms.”

Rob blinked at Vic. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Submission is supposed to bring joy. It’s liberating. But you’re not willing to let go of the control. You say you want to, but then you try to hide things from me or try to refuse my assistance. There can only be one person in charge here, and that’s me. I want to help you to build that foundation so you’re strong enough to handle any challenges that come your way, but you’ve got to be ready to follow my lead. No complaining, no hedging. If I say something needs to be done a certain way, then you’ll do it that way because I ask it of you.”

Rob’s head was spinning. Is that what I want? To be Vic’s submissive? It was one thing to talk about seeing what went on in the club and wanting to try that for himself, but here he was, Vic offering him just that, and Rob was….

Nervous. Apprehensive. And….

Hopeful. So fucking hopeful, it scared him.

Jesus.

“I thought you didn’t live the life 24-7? Isn’t that what you said?” Rob couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that.

Vic scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t. We wouldn’t. But where you’re concerned, my job is to guide and nurture you. It’s to be here for you to lean against when you need me, but for me to know enough to step back when you’ve got it.”

Something niggled at him. “And you don’t think I’ve got it, do you?” For the love of…. “Could you possibly give me a little credit to know what I’m doing and what I want? If I recall correctly, it was me on my knees when you came into the bedroom. If that doesn’t tell you something, then I have no idea what will.”

Vic grabbed Rob’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “You’re a work in progress, but no, I don’t think you have it. You know how to play, but I don’t think you’re ready to be strong, to face up to the things that scare you.”

Rob jutted his chin out. “I’m not afraid.” No way was he about to let Vic know the impact of his words. He’s wrong. I’m ready for that. I am.

“So you’re ready to talk to your brother? Tell your family you’re involved with a man? What do you think will happen when your mother discovers you’re not living in Manchester now? Or have you told her while I wasn’t around?”

All the fight went out of him. Aw fuck. Rob bowed his head, overcome with relief when Vic’s arms tightened around him. “You’re right. I’m not ready,” he admitted, his voice soft.

“And that’s fine,” Vic insisted. “I’m not saying you need to do it today, but it has to be something we would work toward. So to answer your question, I need to know that we’re going to walk together, hand in hand, and build something that’s strong for both of us.”