An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(20)

He wasn’t about to let Jamie get a word in. One look at his face, the open mouth, the wide eyes, told Rob that Jamie was winding up to blast him. “You—”

Rob held up his hand. “Save it. We’re not friends anymore. We haven’t been for a while, and to be honest, I can’t understand why we ever were. I’m not remotely interested in anything else you have to say to me.” He strode away, not waiting for the fallout, not looking back.

By the time he reached his front door, there was nothing behind him but silence. He fumbled with the key, got inside, and pushed the door shut, locking out the world. His body trembled and his heartbeat raced.

Where the hell did that come from?

Gone was the idea of a quiet night in. He needed a break, because there was no way in hell he wanted to be staring at his four walls, with nothing for company but his own thoughts. He raked his nails over his scalp, and Vic was suddenly there in his mind. Rob gave an inward snort. What would he say if he saw my hair now?

Mere seconds later, he had another thought. I need a break, right? So why not go find out what he thinks? Fuck the voice that told him to stay the hell away, that it was a really bad idea. That voice knew bugger all. It took less than a minute to get his hands on his cash envelope, and a matter of seconds before he’d counted out enough for the train, plus a bit extra.

Screw the computer. I need this.





Chapter Seven


NINETY MINUTES later Rob found himself on the train bound for London. He stared out through the window at the landscape that swept by, berating himself for this impetuous behavior. Now his computer fund didn’t even have enough for a cheap piece of crap laptop. Why am I doing this? He had no clue.

He got out his phone, and after a minute spent cursing the intermittent signal, searched for Champneys Close, the road sign he’d caught sight of when Vic had driven him to Euston. Rob did a mental reckoning. The trip had taken maybe an hour, maybe longer. Now all he had to do was work backward to figure out how to get there.

His stomach churned. And what is Vic going to say when I show up out of the blue? Will he even be there? And if he is, is he going to be happy to see me? Probably not, considering Rob’s behavior the last time. But he wanted to see Vic, to show him that he was capable of making a change. To surprise him with the change in his appearance.

Which is why you’re spending a hundred pounds you don’t have to go to London.

He knew his inner voice wasn’t wrong. He didn’t really understand why he was doing this to himself. His stomach knotted at the thought of getting there and Vic not being home or, worse, turning him away. This was Rob’s chief worry, because Vic didn’t have to talk to him at all. In fact, if anything, he was the one who owed Vic an apology. A heartfelt one. His behavior had been beyond reprehensible. Rob had nothing against gay people. So why had he been so vicious before?

Like you don’t know the answer to that question.

Rob clamped down hard on his inner devil, determined to squash the voice that rode him. He was going to London to see Vic because he wanted to make things right. That was all.

But still, the thought that he’d get to Vic’s place and be rejected? That gave Rob pause. True, Vic had been beyond nice to him last week, but Vic owed Rob nothing, not even the chance to apologize. He’d done what he had because he seemed like a genuinely good person. Far better than Rob, not that that was very difficult.

Rob chewed his fingernail. This was a bad idea and he knew it. Hell, what if Vic has someone there? Or what if he’s gone out tonight? Then what? Rob would have wasted a lot of money for nothing. Shit, he wished he had Vic’s number. Maybe he could have called him to let him know he was thinking about stopping by.

Stopping by? Rob snorted. Vic’s not exactly a next-door neighbor, is he? He lived a couple of hundred miles away, and Rob was spending more than two hours on a train to get there.

Shit, this whole thing is insane. When he visited the club, it was him walking in to check out a group of strangers. This time? He was going to see one person. And somehow that made it even scarier.

He tore the nail off one finger and began to bite the next as tension coiled in his stomach. I could go to Secrets. Maybe Vic’s there. But the thought of seeing him with someone soured that idea quickly. If Vic wasn’t home, then Rob would hit a bar or something. Maybe he could meet someone. At least that way the trip wouldn’t have been in vain. It would be an expensive trip to get laid, but it was better than turning around and going home.

The loudspeaker crackled, and the conductor said they were approaching Watford. That was enough to get Rob’s arse into gear. He searched for Vic’s road, which turned out to be in Cheam in Surrey. Then he worked out the cheapest way to get there, which appeared to be by train from St. Pancras. It would only be a tenner, and he could manage that. Once he got off, he’d have to rely on Google Maps to get him to the right place.

Rob swallowed down the panic that surged through him. Am I really going to do this? Drop by unannounced at the home of someone I’ve only met once? Who does those kinds of things?

Apparently, Rob did.

He reached into his wallet. There was enough money to get him to Vic’s and then back into London again. Anything else and he’d need a cash machine. Assuming, of course, that there was anything left in his account. Now that his bills had been paid, he doubted it.

He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the roiling in his belly and that bloody voice telling him that he was about to fuck up really badly.