An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(19)

Bad idea. Just get home, put on the TV, and don’t even think about going out.

“Hey, Rob!”

He came to a halt at the end of his street and turned to see….

Fuck. Jamie.

Rob had lost track of how long it had been since he’d seen his former best mate, but it had clearly been a while. Jamie appeared to have lost a lot of weight. His hair was longer, looking decidedly greasy and unkempt, and his eyes were bloodshot.

Christ, he used to look really good. He—

Dammit, he was walking toward Rob and there was no place to go, nothing to do except stand there and wait for him to catch up.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time.” Jamie came to a halt in front of him, slightly breathless.

“Hey. How are you?” Rob asked, though he didn’t really care to hear the answer. At one time, he and Jamie had been closer than Rob and his own brother. Except all that changed, didn’t it? Rob wouldn’t have been heartbroken if he never saw Jamie again. Just the sight of him brought it all back.

Jamie grinned widely. “Aw, mate, I’m grand. Been shagging this older bird, y’know? She’s got two kids and a husband, but she likes the young stuff.” Jamie cupped his crotch, thrust into his hand, and leered. “She’s always like, ‘No, no, we shouldn’t,’” he said, his voice rising in pitch, “but then ten minutes later she’s got her legs in the air, begging me to go harder.” He shook his head, still grinning. “For someone her age, she’s got a fucking awesome sex drive.”

Time might have passed, but it seemed nothing had changed. Conversations like this had been the norm. They’d get together and trade sex stories, each one bigger than the last. For Rob’s part, most of them were true. He’d done it with a lot of girls. He and Jamie had even picked up two sisters once, taken them back to Jamie’s house, and that had been—

Rob’s stomach clenched. God, get me out of here. Talking with Jamie was the last thing he wanted to be doing right then. Just looking at him brought too many memories floating up to the surface, memories he’d done his best to push down, ignore, but no, they kept right on bobbing up to where he could see them, experience them all over again. And Rob did not want to be that person, no sir.

Since the night he’d spent at Vic’s house, Rob had been forced to take a hard look at himself. It certainly wasn’t anything the guy had said to him. No, that had nothing to do with it. Their conversations had simply forced him to reevaluate his life and what he wanted out of it.

And what he didn’t.

“Like the haircut.” The sneer Jamie wore implied the exact opposite of his words. “Never thought you’d go for a buzz cut.”

Rob reached up to slide his fingers over his scalp. Though it had been almost a week, the bristly cut still felt strange. “Yeah, wanted something different,” he said. “My boss wants us to look presentable.”

Jamie’s eyes gleamed. “You’re working? Where?”

The sudden interest made Rob’s pulse quicken. When they’d been friends, he and Jamie had shoplifted more than a few things from the supermarket where Rob now worked. Nothing big—a few cans of beer, a couple of packs of cigarettes, in the days before they’d changed everything and it had been as simple as leaning over the counter to grab them. Occasionally they’d managed to steal a bottle of vodka. Once Rob had left home, he’d needed a job, not that jobs were so easy to come by in this economy. When he’d applied to the supermarket, memories of the things he and Jamie had done came rushing back to him. He’d felt certain when he met the manager that he was blushing with embarrassment.

“Watts,” Rob replied softly.

Jamie howled with laughter, only it didn’t ring of amusement. It was mean and ugly—an unfortunate reflection of Rob’s former friend.

Was he always like this? How come I never saw it?

Rob had to move, had to get out of there. “Yeah, well, it was good seeing you, but I have to go. It’s been a long day, and I’ve got a load of stuff to do at home.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jamie replied absently. “So, listen, we should get together some time. Maybe this weekend? Willie’s having a party. Lots of girls, alcohol, and he says he’s scored some really good shit.”

Oh, hell no. Rob wanted nothing more to do with Jamie. It was bad enough that even though they were adults, Jamie seemed as immature as he’d been back in his teens. Rob, at least, had wanted to make something better for himself. Well, he’d been trying, with the idea of going to night school. And from the sound of it, Jamie’s friends had gotten him involved with harder drugs.

There was no way Rob was going anywhere near that shit.

“We’ll see,” Rob said noncommittally, praying Jamie would pick up the hint.

No such luck.

“Oh, I see. You’re too good for us now?” Jamie spat on the ground. “After your brother turned out to be a fag, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected you to be any different.”

Rob froze. “Fuck you,” he snapped, annoyed to hear the quaver in his own voice. “Alex has nothing to do with it. Leave him out of this. And if I don’t want to go to some fucking lame party, then that’s my decision, isn’t it?” He paused, his hands clenched into fists. “Have you looked at yourself lately? I mean, really looked? You’re still talking about shagging, getting rat-arsed, and getting high. Don’t you think it’s about fucking time you grew up?” Rob was shaking. There was no doubt he was overreacting, but then he knew what lay at the heart of it. Jamie embodied everything about Rob that he hated about himself—the secrets, the lies, the way Jamie had made him feel that night, the one Rob strove so hard to forget. The mention of Alex drove home one point more than any other—just how much Rob had lost.