An Act of Persuasion(25)

“I can sympathize.” He looked at her a little sadly. “I would have held your head. With a damp washcloth on the back of your neck.”

It’s what she had done for him. She wasn’t even sure why the washcloth was necessary or what it accomplished. She just remembered it as something her mother did when she’d been a little girl and had been sick. It was one of the few nicer memories she had of her mother.

Their meal came and Anna picked at hers while she watched Ben eat. Before the cancer, he’d enjoyed his food. But once he’d gotten sick, the weight fell off him quickly as his appetite had fled. It had been a struggle every day to keep pushing the calories into him. During that first round of chemo, she’d basically pumped him full of fruit smoothies and milkshakes which were the only things he seemed able to tolerate.

It was ridiculous, and if asked, she would totally blame it on the hormone thing, but she could feel the tears coming as she watched him steadily clean his plate. He wasn’t going to die. Ben Tyler was going to live and now, seeing him devour his rabbit, she finally let herself believe it.

“You’re not touching your meal,” he said when he finally looked at her plate. “You should order something else. Something more palatable.”

“You see how ironic this is, don’t you?”

He leaned back. “The shoe is on the other foot.”

“I’m not potentially dying. At least, I hope not.”

“Yes, but you need taking care of. You’re going to be tired and you’re obviously still dealing with nausea. I understand your concerns about rushing into marriage. It seemed like a natural conclusion, but maybe you’re right. We’re not there yet and I pushed too fast. But come home and live with me. At least for the duration of the pregnancy. Let me take care of you at least.”

Home. Come home with him. Anna put her face in her hands and fought to control her breathing if not the tears.

“Anna, what the hell...”

He was out of his chair and crouching next to her, his hand rubbing her back and that only made her weep harder.

“Damn hormones,” she blubbered.

He handed her the napkin off her lap and she used it to dab her eyes. When she lifted her head she imagined her face would be blotchy and red and her eyes swollen. Just the image she wanted to portray in front of him. He was right about her. In some ways she was very messy.

He resumed his seat across from her, setting his elbows on the table and leaning in intently. “What did I say?”

She shook her head not even willing to think the word again. He wouldn’t understand. Sadly, she didn’t think he could ever understand what those six years with him meant. Maybe it was time to tell him. Maybe if she came clean with him, he would finally get what her problem was and back off.

“You don’t get it.” She hiccupped.

“Obviously not.”

“All these years— Oh, crap.”

It rushed up on her like a wave. Instantly, she stood and darted around the other tables. She covered her mouth just in case and managed, with scant seconds to spare, to find the ladies’ room in the rear of the restaurant and kick open a stall.

Leaning over the toilet bowl, every traitorous bit of food she’d consumed came spewing out of her mouth. She fell to her knees and braced herself, trying not to think how disgusting it was to do this in a public bathroom.

Her only salvation was that it appeared to be spotlessly clean.

She heard the door behind her squeak open and thought about trying to gather herself up to explain. Surely another woman would understand her plight. Especially if the woman was a mother.

Only it wasn’t a woman who’d entered. She knew it when the stall opened and a cold, wet towel was placed on the back of her neck, while he handed her another one so she could wipe her mouth.

That’s right. A cold towel on the back of the neck did make her feel better.

“It’s okay. I’m here, Anna.”

She closed her eyes. He was here.

* * *

BEN INSISTED on seeing her home. He’d paid the check and escorted her out of the restaurant, but instead of taking her to her car he drove her directly home.

“I need to get to work tomorrow,” she protested. But he could see the objection was only mildly stated. After heaving up the contents of her stomach she looked decidedly weak. She leaned her head on the seat and he watched her eyes close for a prolonged count before she struggled to open them again.