All the Right Moves(61)

He’d gotten over his need to show his manners by jumping out of the car to let her out, and she was kind of sorry about that this time. Instead, he leaned over the console and kissed her. It was tender. And it felt an awful lot like goodbye.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to swing by tonight,” he said as she opened the car door. “I’m meeting a couple of friends for dinner. It’ll probably end late.”

“Okay,” she said. “Have a great time.”

“Thanks. Don’t work too hard.”

She looked at him again, but not for long. She’d prefer other memories to this one. Closing the door, she watched him drive away before she headed inside.

* * *

HE’D SWORN he was going to call some friends as soon as he got back to his condo, just so the lie wouldn’t keep churning in his gut. But all he seemed capable of doing was holding his cell in one hand, and a cold beer in the other as he stared at some sports event on his big screen.

It was five-thirty. The rest of the night yawned ahead of him in depressing darkness, his mind firmly caught on his upcoming decision.

Cassie had been the perfect distraction, and then he’d gone and blown the whole thing by spilling his guts. At least they’d had that last time in bed. Although maybe if it hadn’t been the best sex of his life, it would be easier. The thought of not seeing her again bothered him more than he’d care to admit.

It was the right thing to do, though. She was great, she really was great, but she had her dreams and her job and her own mess to clean up with her brother. Soon, he’d be back on the job, back to his real life. Whatever that turned out to be.

He’d tried to imagine what it would be like not to wear an air force uniform, a flight suit. To never experience Mach 2 again. No more officers’ club, no future built around an institution that was more a part of his life than where he lived, what he ate, where he worshiped. Maybe that was exactly what he needed. A whole new window on life. New ports of call. A different standard with entirely unknown goals and achievements.

There were good things about the air force, but the one fact that sat at the top of every list was that it was familiar. Simple. He knew the rules by heart.

The idea that he could change everything by not signing a piece of paper intrigued the hell out of him.

So why was the choice so difficult?

He thought about Cassie again, and he hadn’t meant to. But that thing she’d said to him about him living in a bubble. She was right. He didn’t have to like it, but he wasn’t about to start lying to himself. He’d worked incredibly hard for what he’d accomplished, and continued to bust his ass every single day, but that didn’t negate the reality that he was spoiled. He’d grown used to being an elite fighter. He tried not to be a jerk about it, but he’d used it plenty. To get women. To grease the wheels in almost every aspect of his life.

He hit his sister’s number on his cell phone and waited for the rings. She picked up on the third.

“Hey, hotshot, what’s up?”

“Nothing much. Calling to check in. Make sure you and the family are doing okay.”

“We’re fine. Are you sure you are?”

“Yeah, of course I am. The last time we talked it had to be quick. So, I’m...calling.”

Lauren didn’t say anything for a bit, but when she did, it was so loud he had to yank the phone from his ear. Of course she wasn’t yelling at him. “Russell Ackerman, you get your behind back in here right this second and clean up that mess you made. Sorry,” she said, her voice quieted by half. “Kids.”

“Yeah, I know. Another reason I was calling. They’re home, I take it?”

“They are, but only for a little while. Russ has soccer and Fisher has hockey and the practices are on either side of town. That is not clean, young man. Do it right.”

“I can see you’re pretty busy.”

“It’s okay. I’ve got a few minutes.”

“If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?”

“I’ll try. But remember, I love you, so...”

“So that means you get to lie?”

“Sure it does. Lying is sometimes the most important thing a person can do if they love someone. I don’t take it lightly, though, so I think you can count on me. Shoot.”

“Is it a giant pain in the butt for you to pay my bills?”

Her hesitation was just long enough for him to know the answer before she spoke. “Not really.”