All I Ask(66)

“Don’t look so surprised, Teagan.” Derek’s hand lifts and he takes a strand of my hair and then tucks it behind my ear. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere and I don’t have any doubts that I’m here with you for a reason. I can wait until you know it, but what we’re doing here, isn’t ending.”

My heart is pounding so loud, I can’t hear anything else. I want to believe what he’s saying more than anything, but this is really not slow and this is a million times beyond complicated.

“Please don’t make me promises like that,” I say with fear and apprehension. “I don’t think I could handle the loss again.”

He wraps his arm around my back, forcing me to put my hands on his chest. “Then hold on and don’t let go this time.”

“You’re the one who let me go the last time.”

The regret fills his eyes. “And I won’t ever make that mistake again.”

I lean up, kissing him because I need to seal it. I want that promise to be unbroken. I can feel my insecurities bubbling up, telling me that this isn’t how life works out for me, but I fight against it. If I can just hold on to this, then maybe it’ll be okay—we’ll be okay. It’s different this time for us. We’re not kids and we both are being honest. I told him I would tell him if I wanted to run, but this time, it’s not away that I want to go.

Our lips move together, hands gripping one another as I’m desperate to do as he says—hold on.

His tongue slides into my mouth and we both give each other everything. I moan when his hand makes it way down to my ass, pulling me against him, feeling his erection against my leg.

This kiss is different than the others. We’re not tentative with each other. This isn’t both of us holding a piece of ourselves for safekeeping. I’m letting go of all the past right here. I’m giving him more than just words. I’m giving him me.

Derek’s hands are everywhere. I feel his warmth through my shirt and I want more. I know I said we should go slow but I can’t stop myself. I need more. Each touch, each second our mouths are connected, the further my desire deepens.

He’s the man I’ve always wanted. He’s starred in more dreams than I can count, and against all odds, he’s here now in my arms.

I feel his hand slide to my chest, just barely brushing my breast, and I can’t stop the noise that escapes me. When he does it again, I gasp and break the kiss.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he promises.

“Don’t stop.”

“You’re so beautiful, you’ve always been.” He kisses me again, this time squeezing my breast and rubbing where my nipple is under my bra.

His touch, is everything. It’s been so long since anyone has been with me this way, and having it be Derek right now means so much more.

My fingers move down his chest, needing to explore him. He groans when my hands get to his stomach, feeling the ridges of the six-pack that hides underneath his shirt. Derek kisses me harder, moving me back until I’m wedged in between him and the post of the deck.

I feel like this is a dream. There’s no way that he’s kissing me. I have to be asleep or daydreaming, yet I don’t want to wake up.

I close my eyes, needing to hold on longer.

His mouth moves to my neck and my fingers slide through his hair. He has really great hair. Hell, everything about him is great.

“Derek,” I whisper.

His head lifts, eyes filled with yearning, and both of us are struggling for breath. “Tell me something real,” he says.

I can taste him on my lips and his cologne is all around us. “I really don’t want to wake up from this dream.”

“You’re not dreaming.”

My hand touches his face. “Tell me something real then.”

Derek’s lips touch mine in the sweetest of kisses. It’s almost as though he’s woken up from the dream himself. “I really want you, Teagan. But not like this. Not here, not yet, but I want all of you, and that’s the most real thing in the world. Now, let’s have our lunch date.”

“And you say I switch topics easily,” I joke.

He releases a heavy sigh. “If we keep talking about all the things I want to happen between us, the word slow isn’t going to apply to our relationship. So, let’s eat and follow your rules”—his smile grows and mischief dances in his eyes—“for now.”





Chapter Thirty-One





Teagan




Present



“Are you still dating Dr. Hartz?” Chastity asks as we sit at my parents’ table.

I’ve done a pretty good job the last week keeping things under wraps. We had our date, spent pretty much each night on the phone talking about all the things we’ve missed, and met once on the beach just because.

“Dr. Hartz?” My mother says while her fork drops, clanging against the plate. “You’re dating Derek?”

“I’ve been on one date.” I leave out the other things because, technically, it’s one date.

“Right, but I heard you guys on the phone again, and Everly said she heard her father telling his parents that it’s going well.”

I used to love my daughter. I really did.