All About Seduction(102)
“Jack,” she protested. Her voice was thready and high, and her body tensed. Everywhere.
He groaned, but had to ignore the throbbing heat and the urge to continue.
“Why?” he repeated. Was she determined to keep him at arm’s length because he was a laborer, because he was poorly educated, or because he was a sad specimen of a man unable to support himself, let alone a wife? His heart pounded as he waited for her answer.
“It’s . . . it’s a sin,” she hissed.
He rolled his eyes and let out a loud impatient sigh. “So it is all right to sin, but not to enjoy it? I think even God would find such logic twisted.”
She put her fingers over his mouth.
He supposed that was a signal to stop talking and get on with the action. He pushed down harder on her hips and kissed her fingers. Tilting his head back, he caught the tips between his lips and flicked his tongue against them.
She jerked her hand away with such violence, the inch of space she tried to keep between them disappeared. He breathed deeply, loving the feeling of her breasts against his chest. She slapped her palms against the mattress.
“Stay there,” he whispered. “Stay against me, Caro. I just want you close to me.”
He wanted to shake her, but mostly he wanted to love her.
She sobbed and everything in him went cold. She was so tender, he knew they should have done more to get him close before he dipped his wick.
“Dammit, Caro, I’m hurting you.”
“No-o,” she whimpered. But a huge sob followed and then another.
With every shudder of her body, every time her stomach quivered, a stab of dismay went into his chest. His lungs grew tight, as if he were being suffocated. All he wanted was this to be pleasant for her, and she was crying as if her heart was broken.
“Then why are you crying?” He tried to not sound impatient, but his success was doubtful.
She sniffed as if she’d been trying to hold it back for a long time. Her body shook as sobs rattled through her. “Because it doesn’t hurt.”
Chapter 20
He pushed her off him. She tried to hang on, but he was stronger than she was. He scooted across the bed, taking a part of her heart with him. Sobs wrenched out of a deep place inside her as if powered by volcanic fury.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I don’t know what’s wrong with me-e-e.” She sniffed again, which was completely unladylike, but so was a runny nose.
He sat on the edge of the bed, the firelight casting a golden glow over his skin. He leaned and grabbed his crutches. The muscles in his broad shoulders shifted, stealing her breath away.
“I’m s-sorry. We can con . . . tin . . . ue.” Did he even want to or had she repulsed him with her outburst? She didn’t know what was wrong with her that she couldn’t stop herself. Well-bred ladies weren’t supposed to carry on like spoiled children deprived of their toys.
He leaned the crutches back against the bed as he pulled on the smalls he’d retrieved from the floor. His voice low and tight, he said, “You’re killing me, Caro. I’m a man, not an animal that can ignore your bawling.”
Bawling sounded so crass, but she supposed that was as good a descriptor as having the vapors. She brushed his shoulder with her fingertips. He shrugged away as if her touch scorched him.
A fresh sob erupted, and she tried to will it away. She couldn’t even form the words to beg him not to be angry. She curled on the bed feeling as if she was broken into a hundred pieces.
She’d ruined everything. She didn’t even care if he got her with child. She wanted Jack inside her, staring up at her as if she were the most wonderful woman in the world. She wanted this man who had exhausted himself getting her an ointment she didn’t even know existed, so she wouldn’t feel pain. She wanted more than this stolen illicit affair, yet she knew it could never be anything more than a brief fling to get her pregnant.
Even if she weren’t married, their stations were too far apart.
“Go ahead and cry. Lord knows you probably need the release,” he muttered. “Just give me a minute.”
“I don’t normally do this,” she whispered. “It has been the most horrid day.”
“Yes, it has,” he said tightly.
More tears flowed, and she swallowed hard trying to regain control.
The bed rocked as he stood. He must want to get as far away from her as possible. His crutches thumped across the room. If he had two sound legs, he’d probably be in the next county by now.