After Anna(87)

‘That’s what I thought.’ Anna smiled, reassured.

‘I don’t know why he did it either. I can’t give you any answers.’

‘So why don’t you want me to go to court?’

Maggie hesitated. ‘Because I think we can handle it as a family, the way I said.’

‘No.’ Anna shook her head, her lips setting firmly. ‘The lady on the phone said that’s what the moms always say.’

‘Who’s this lady? What’s her name?’

‘I didn’t ask her. She said the moms never want to go to court because they’re in denial.’

‘I’m not in denial,’ Maggie said, though she wondered if she was, partly.

‘And she said abusers don’t take it seriously unless you get a PFA, so that’s what I want to do.’

‘Anna, I really think that’s taking it too far –’

‘You do?’ Anna’s eyes flew open, pained. ‘You know what I think is taking it too far? When your stepfather sticks his tongue down your throat. Or puts his hand up your dress.’

Maggie recoiled, disgusted. ‘I know, I’m sorry.’

‘I think that’s really why he wanted to take me driving, so we could be alone together, without you.’

‘That can’t be, it was my idea and –’

‘Mom, I don’t want to make you feel worse.’ Anna sighed, frowning. ‘You don’t have to sign the PFA papers. I’ll call James. He’ll know somebody here who will help me.’

‘That’s not necessary –’

‘Yes, it is. Either Noah moves out or I do. If you don’t want to sign the papers, then I’ll get myself declared emancipated and move out.’ Anna straightened, determined. ‘Either way, I’m going to file for a PFA. I want to stand up for myself. I want to send a very clear message to him that what he did was wrong.’

‘He knows that, Anna.’

‘Mom, here’s the thing.’ Anna touched Maggie’s arm. ‘My whole life, I had nobody. It was just me, on my own. Dad left. You left. It was me, on my own. I can take care of myself.’

‘But you don’t have to do that anymore. You have me.’

‘Do I? Noah is your husband. You just told me you love him.’

‘But I can protect you –’

‘You didn’t before,’ Anna shot back.

‘I didn’t know, how could I know?’ Maggie heard herself sounding like those mothers on television, the ones she used to judge. She felt unfit, unfit, unfit.

‘If you care, then go to court with me. Back me up. Sign the papers.’ Anna picked up a pen off of the kitchen island and held it out to Maggie.

‘Anna –’

‘Please, Mom?’

Maggie eyed the pen in Anna’s outstretched hand, feeling a stab of anguish. She had to choose between Anna and Noah, right this minute. She felt bewildered that it had come to this so quickly. She didn’t know what to do. She felt ripped down the middle in a familial tug-of-war. If Anna got a PFA against Noah, there would be no going back for her marriage.

Maggie slid the pen from Anna’s hand.





Chapter Fifty-nine


Noah, After

TRIAL, DAY 1

Noah sat stiffly at counsel table while Linda gave her opening argument, saying buzzwords like heinous murder, innocent young woman, and abundance of evidence, and Thomas countered in his opening argument, firing back buzzwords like rush to judgment, presumption of innocence, and reasonable doubt. They reminded Noah of the target words he used to practice with Caleb, accident, bandage, emergency, but those days were over.

Noah controlled his emotions, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was standing trial for a murder he hadn’t committed. The truth was he hadn’t killed Anna, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. He had learned that the only thing that mattered in the American legal system was what you could prove, and the Commonwealth had tons of proof against him, ironically, even though he hadn’t done it. He hadn’t sent the text to Anna that night, he hadn’t molested her in the car or the bathroom, and his fibers, hair, and DNA had gotten on her body when he’d tried to save her life.

Linda stood before the dais. ‘Your Honor, the Commonwealth calls its first witness, Officer David Simon.’

‘Please proceed.’ Judge Gardner nodded, and Noah watched as a tall, lanky, uniformed police officer was sworn in. VFW Guy looked at the cop with admiration, but an African-American accountant in the back row lifted an eyebrow.

Linda moved to the front of the stand. ‘Please state your name for the record.’

‘Officer David Simon.’

‘And your occupation?’

‘I’m a patrolman with the Montgomery County Police Department.’

‘And were you called to the crime scene on the night in question, Wednesday, May 10?’

‘Yes.’

‘And what did you do upon your arrival?’

‘We exited our vehicle and were met by the defendant.’

Linda took Officer Simon through her direct examination, asking him about what had happened when he’d met Noah at the carriage house, an account that Noah didn’t need to be reminded of. He had cycled over and over it in prison, mentally retracing his steps, wondering what he had done wrong or could’ve done differently, rewinding everything back to the night of the murder.