After Anna(86)

Caleb came downstairs with a sleepy smile, in his oversized Phillies T-shirt. He accepted her explanation that Noah had gone back to the conference, and their conversation had centered on whether she should make banana or blueberry pancakes. Anna came down later with puffy eyes and bedhead, in a Congreve T-shirt and gym shorts. She said nothing about Noah in front of Caleb, and Maggie felt the two of them sharing a terrible secret throughout breakfast, which passed with silly speculation about whether SpongeBob was cute or weird-looking.

After breakfast, Anna and Caleb went to their respective rooms, and Maggie checked on Anna around lunchtime, only to find her dozing with the laptop open and her textbooks around her. Maggie closed the door and let her sleep, then went to Caleb’s room, helped him with his homework on the book Wonder, and played apraxia Mad Libs with bandage, accident, and emergency. Caleb had backslid, but she didn’t make a point of it, and he didn’t mention Noah.

Maggie went through the rest of the day as if she were sleepwalking, puttering in the kitchen, watering the garden, and eyeing Noah’s laptop in the family room, wondering if she should search it. She succumbed around four o’clock, logging on. She checked his browser history, which hadn’t been deleted. She scanned the sites, but none of them were pornographic, only Noah-like searches of medical websites, online banking, pollen indexes, and abdominal exercises. She checked their bank accounts, but no suspicious checks had been sent to any random escort sites, nor were there any unusual cash withdrawals. After that, she went to the basement and searched his desktop computer, but that turned up nothing pornographic, mercifully.

Maggie was coming up from the basement when she heard footsteps on the stairwell, so she hurried into the kitchen and rushed to the sink to fake-drink a glass of water.

‘Mom?’ Anna said, entering the kitchen holding a packet of papers.

‘Hey honey, how are you feeling?’ Maggie gave her a big hug, freer to be real since Caleb wasn’t around.

‘I feel better, now.’ Anna hugged her back, then thrust some papers at Maggie, who assumed they were homework until she read the top: PETITION FOR PROTECTION FROM ABUSE

‘Wait, what is this?’

‘It’s called a PFA. I’m going to file it on Monday against Noah, but I need you to sign it because I’m under eighteen.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Maggie read the allegations on the form, her stomach turning.

‘I can’t take it anymore, I told you. I won’t live in the same house with him.’

‘Anna, you don’t have to do this,’ Maggie rushed to say, anguished and torn. ‘I’ve already decided what we’re going to do. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about it yet. I’m going to tell him to see a therapist. He won’t be allowed back until we all –’

‘No, I won’t ever live with him. I need a Protection From Abuse Order. I learned about it online and I called the hotline, so I know what to do next.’

‘Anna, this is what people do when they’re abused by their husbands.’

‘Or by their parents. Their stepfather.’

‘Anna, really?’ Maggie struggled to think clearly. ‘Don’t you need a lawyer?’

‘No. The woman on the phone said I could just file it on an emergency basis, first thing Monday morning. I already emailed and called the judge’s chambers. I’m trying to get a hearing. I’m going to tell the judge that Noah sexually assaulted me.’ Anna met Maggie’s eye directly. ‘I’m not going to take this, not one more minute. If I wanted to, I could call the police on him, but I’m only doing the PFA.’

‘But honey, I’m handling this.’ Maggie collected her thoughts. ‘He’s not going to come home until we know that you can be safe. I mean, we can deal with this ourselves.’

‘I don’t want to. What he did was wrong.’

‘Anna, what’s the rush?’ Maggie shuddered, thinking of Noah being arrested. ‘Why can’t you give us a chance to settle this as a family?’

‘Look, I know you love Noah. That’s the problem, right?’ Anna flopped onto a stool at the kitchen island, still one of three. Maggie hadn’t even had a chance to order an extra one.

‘Right. Yes, I do. He’s my husband. Obviously, my emotions are conflicted right now.’

‘But you believe me, don’t you?’ Anna blinked, her blue eyes widening, and they reminded Maggie so much of her own mother’s eyes, in the frank way in which they looked back at her, in the way that eyes could be a clear view of someone’s soul, like a pair of binoculars focused inward on the human heart.

‘Yes, I believe you,’ Maggie answered, and Anna’s expression warmed, her gaze softening, and her mouth curving into a weary smile. She raised her arms and gave Maggie a hug.

‘Thank you so much.’

‘I’m so sorry about all this.’ Maggie released Anna from the embrace.

‘I’m sorry, too. I keep thinking, maybe I did something wrong, or wore something, to give him the wrong idea.’

‘Of course you didn’t, honey. You’re the victim.’ Maggie felt heartbroken to think that Anna was blaming herself.

‘Then why would he do it? Has he done something like this before?’

‘No, I would never have thought in a million years that he would try anything inappropriate with you. If I thought that, I wouldn’t have brought you home. In fact, if I thought that, I wouldn’t have married him in the first place.’