Absolutely Unforgivable(77)
With Jeromy it was about the sex. It always had been that way with us. I couldn’t keep my hands off of Jeromy when we were together. There was no time to second guess the value of our relationship because if we were together, and we were always together, we were having sex, mind blowing sex. He was great in bed, strong and aggressive. You couldn’t help but get caught up in his passion.
But with Billy it is so much more. First he was my friend, a truly caring friend that I learned to depend on and trust. Then came the sex, but different than how it had been with Jeromy. Billy’s body felt like it was made to be with mine. We just physically connected in such a way that I felt like for the first time in my life I knew what it meant to make love.
But even before things got that far, things with Billy were different. We had intimate moments together without having to have sex. He knew how to make me feel loved without making love to me.
He also made an effort to include me in his life, even if I protested, not wanting to go on stage and be the center of attention. Billy at least tried to include me in his life whereas Jeromy, if we weren’t having sex or he wasn’t buying me things, we had nothing else together. He didn’t really even like to talk about work. He made me feel like a burden so many times. I hated that feeling. I wanted to be my own person but he made me feel guilty because then I wouldn’t have enough time to be there for him when he got home from work. And since he made all of the money, I felt I had to do things his way.
Realizing how much I had been standing here obsessing about all of this, I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind. Now wasn’t the time to obsess about Billy and Jeromy. I could think about that later when there weren’t so many people around. Still the guilt about Jeromy was strong. Billy was his best friend.
“I guess my sister was right, sometimes the worst thing you can do is fall in love.”
That last part I didn’t realize I had said out loud, soft but still audible. “What?” Billy asked.
“Oh I’m sorry, nothing. It was just something my sister used to say. It’s nothing. Really. Let’s go over and see the pictures. The photographer has his camera hooked up to his laptop, showing Brick and Trista how the shots turned out.”
We walked over to the photographer to check out the pictures. They were all great. Darla and Starla really knew how to work the camera. They never took their eyes off of Travis. They gave him a sort of we are going to take you right here and now look in every single photo.
I started to think how Billy’s little four man band had grown so dramatically. Besides the sound engineer, manager and website guy who had been there before me, there was now me and the rest of the girls who joined him onstage for every performance. Their gang now had twelve people and that didn’t even include the three bodyguards. It was a huge group but it felt so right. We all just clicked and things fell perfectly into place. We were all one big happy family, despite a few members who may annoy me at times. I glared over to Travis and then to Brick. Okay maybe we weren’t one big happy family all the time, but we definitely had our moments.
I was completely lost in that thought when I heard a loud thump outside. The room fell silent as everyone wondered what the noise was. Mindy grabbed my left hand and squeezed tightly. I looked down at her hands that were now shaking uncontrollably. The girls began to scream and the situation quickly got out of hand. I couldn’t hear Billy but I see him mouthing the words “get them out of here” as he made his way to the backyard where they thought the noise might have come from.
Devin scooped all of the screaming girls up in his big arms, a couple at a time, and scooted them towards the safe room, one of the newest additions to the house. Billy had the room added on after the last attack. At the time I thought he was just being way too overprotective but now I was really glad he did it.
I didn’t go with the other girls into the room. Devin had somehow missed me and I stood there frozen in fear, looking around me, taking in all of the madness.
Billy looked back just before he walked out the door and again, I couldn’t hear a word he said but I could see him mouthing” “Noooo” as he ran towards me. He didn’t get to me before Vin had picked me up and threw me into the safe room and once inside, Trista slammed her hand down on the large red button. I stood in front of the big door that shut before me and listened to the steel rods latch in place, one by one, securing the room; making it near impossible for anyone to get through the door.
When the last one clicked, the lights above us began to flicker on. I turned around to look at the room which was now coming to life. The girls stood huddled together, too scared to move, too scared to make any noise. Still you could hear soft whimpering coming from them. It didn’t really matter though. The room had been made soundproof so as to not give away our location.