Absolutely Unforgivable(39)

I sighed. I guess I could understand that. But still I missed him. “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked softly.

“Time just got away from me, baby. Before I knew it, it was already 3 am and I knew you were probably fast asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Will you be home tonight?”

“Yeah. I’m just finishing up here. I’ll be home in a few hours.”

When I hung up the phone I made my way back upstairs. With all the boys here in the house I thought I better find some actual clothes to put on. I didn’t mind prancing around the house in my nightclothes when it was just Billy and Jeromy here but with the rest of the band, I wasn’t so comfortable.

I decided that today I would try out my big fancy bathtub. Before now I had always just taken showers. I ran into Kita and asked her if she had any bubbles. She went off to find some and soon returned with bottle in hand. “Here, try this,” she said as she handed it to me.

After a nice, long bubble bath I found something to wear for the day; put my hair up in a ponytail on top of my head and with a light brush of makeup on my face, I made my way back downstairs.

Billy was in the kitchen again, leaning on his side against the wall with his hands in his pockets, while Kita made him a sandwich.

“Where are the boys?” I asked Billy as he took the first bite of his sandwich.

He shrugged and then looked toward his studio. “They are back there working on some stupid shit with Brick, I guess.”

Billy seemed tired and frustrated. I hated to see him look like that. It made me horribly sad and I just wanted to go up to him and comfort him, but before I could my phone started buzzing. It was Jeromy sending me a text message. “I see you’ve been having a good time while I have been away.”

“Umm I guess,” I texted him back. Not sure what he was talking about. Next came a link. I clicked it to see what video Jeromy had sent me. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open as the video started playing.

I had almost forgotten about the video we recorded the other day in Billy’s studio. It was all really innocent at the time but not so much after Brick did a little editing. Billy jumped up and stood behind me to look over my shoulder to see what had me so horrified.

The first thing I noticed was the song had changed. It was no longer Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation. He had dubbed another song over and now the song playing was Kid Rock’s Cowboy. It was strange how they could make it look like that was really the song we sang that day. I had to give him props for that.

Billy looked great for his part, singing the song. But when it came to the chorus, it flashed to me dancing erotically with the microphone stand. Then it flashed back to the other girls swaying back and forth, leaning into the microphone as if they were signing the words.

Oh God. I can’t believe I did that. I wanted to turn away and stop watching but I just couldn’t. Billy put a hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed my neck. I threw my phone down on the table. I wanted to jump up and yell BRICK! YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. But how could I? Brick didn’t grab the microphone stand and treat it like a stripper pole. That was all my doing. I had nobody to blame but myself. All Brick did was piece together different clips of my dance moves. Then again, that jackass did release it without talking to me first.

I folded my arms, put them the table, and laid my head down.

“It’s okay,” Billy said as he gently stroked my arm.

I didn’t look up; I just kept my head down on the table. “Apparently not.” I popped my head up, flipped through my phone to find the text message from Jeromy and showed Billy what he had said. Billy just laughed and told me I was overreacting; but I knew that I wasn’t. Jeromy wouldn’t have said something if he wasn’t mad.

I wonder if my parents would ever find this stupid video online. Surely they don’t hang out on YouTube very often searching my name, but just in case I better give them a call and warn them about it. That’s not a call I’m looking forward too at all. I don’t even know how I am going to explain this video to my mother.

Before I could continue to argue my point with Billy, my phone rang. It was Jeromy.

“Baby?”

“Yeah, I just ...” But I couldn’t finish. What could I possibly say to justify what I had done? While he was off working hard to take care of us, I was at home partying with his friends, acting like a whore.

I tried to hide the tremor in my voice as tears began to form and cloud my vision. “I’m so sorry, Jeromy. I didn’t mean to ....”