A Winter Wedding(107)
Lindy rested her hands on her hips. “Let’s be honest. I’m sure they’re more interested in you. You’re famous! Everyone’s more interested in you.”
Too bad Lourdes wasn’t more interested in them. Although she’d thought she’d be eager to spend Christmas getting reacquainted with Jesse and Lisa, and meeting their husbands, she didn’t seem interested in anything these days, even her music. Yesterday Derrick had tried to get her into the studio to record “Crossroads,” but she’d told him she wasn’t feeling that great and put him off until after Christmas.
“What’s wrong?” Her mother, overhearing the exchange, appeared at the entrance to the living room.
Lourdes shook her head. “Nothing.”
Renate finished drying her hands, tossed the dish towel on the counter and crossed over to her. “Honey, you haven’t been yourself since you got home.”
“Of course I have,” she said.
“No. You’re so quiet and lethargic,” Mindy said. “Are you sick?”
“You’ve hardly said two words since you showed up this morning,” Lindy complained. “You just keep strumming your guitar and playing the same tune.”
“I’m not sick. I’m resting. Or I was trying to rest...”
That hint did little to get them to leave her alone. “Are you not sleeping well?” her mother asked.
As a matter of fact, she hadn’t been sleeping well. She hadn’t been eating well, either. But she couldn’t admit that or she’d have her mother coming by to check on her even more often than she already did. “Everything’s fine. I’m happy I haven’t lost my manager and that Derrick’s going to help me rebuild my career. I’m glad Crystal and I can still be friends—well, professionally polite to each other. Despite what she and my former fiancé did, she and I are having lunch next week. And Derrick has found me a great song to record that we both think will go platinum. Things are looking up.”
“Then why are you acting so down?” Lindy asked.
“I’m adjusting to being back, that’s all.”
“It’s that man you met while you were in Whiskey Creek, isn’t it?” her mother said. “Kyle.”
Lourdes didn’t answer. She rubbed her temples as if she had a headache, but the source of her pain wasn’t anything that specific.
“Why don’t you call him?” Mindy asked. “Talk to him? See how he’s doing?”
Lourdes dropped her hands. “Because I don’t want to string out our breakup. Don’t want to make it any harder than it has to be.”
“It’s Christmas,” Lindy said. “I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”
Maybe she would call Kyle, if she could trust herself not to tell him how much she missed him and how badly she longed to be with him. That would only raise his hopes, hopes she’d most likely dash all over again because she couldn’t walk away from Nashville.
“It’s better this way,” she insisted.
“It’s better to be miserable?” Lindy said.
“Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for what you want.”
Her mother’s chin puckered as she frowned. “I’m not convinced you really know what you want.”
“If I choose Kyle, I’ll be kissing my career goodbye,” Lourdes said. “That’s not an option.”
“They don’t have to be mutually exclusive,” her mother said, bending over to smooth the hair off her forehead.
Lourdes pushed herself into a sitting position. “Yes, they do. Derrick will drop me. He said he would. And then there’ll be no ‘Crossroads,’ and probably no deal with my old label. Derrick got them Crystal. They want to keep him happy, so he’ll bring them more young talent.”
“That’s your fear talking,” her mother scoffed.
“What?” Lourdes said.
“You don’t need anyone else’s songs,” she replied. “And I’m willing to bet you don’t need Derrick or your old label, either. There are other people out there who make good music and might be interested in a talented artist like you.”
“And if there aren’t?”
She took Lourdes’s hand. “Maybe being a big star isn’t the only life that will make you happy. Maybe the joy isn’t in the end result—in the success. Maybe it’s in living, loving—and trying.”
“But it’s such a risk,” she murmured. “Especially since I don’t know Kyle all that well.”
“You’ll never get to know him any better if you don’t give yourself the chance,” she said and got up to finish the cooking.
*
Kyle was as nervous about Riley’s wedding as Riley probably was. He’d memorized what he planned to say and fully believed what he’d written. But therein lay the problem. It was a lot easier to joke around with his friends and hide his more serious feelings behind the laughs and the ribbing. He wasn’t looking forward to standing in front of half the town and revealing his more sober thoughts on love and marriage. After everything he’d been through—and everyone knowing what he’d been through—he felt too exposed.
“You’re going to do great,” Eve murmured, giving him a brief hug as she hurried past, dressed in her teal bridesmaid’s gown. (He knew better than to call it green; he’d been educated on the difference while they were decorating and setting up.)