A Vow So Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers, #3)(94)

“I came to Syhl Shallow for your help,” I say, “because you’re the only one who can stop her.” I look him dead in the eye. “And because underneath all the talk about how much you want to be loyal to Syhl Shallow, I think you want to rescue Rhen every bit as much as I do.”

He looks right back at me. For the longest time, he says nothing, but I can see the emotion churning in his eyes.

“You swore your life to him, Grey,” I say. “That meant something to you, and you can’t just turn that off, even if you think you can.”

He sighs and runs a hand across his jaw. When he looks back at me, his eyes are cool and opaque, belying my statement. Maybe he can turn it off. “You don’t know if he has soldiers surrounding the castle. Tell me what you do know.”

Ugh. Fine. Fine.

“I’ve told you everything I know. She killed everyone.” I’m reciting something I’ve told him a dozen times already. “The guards, the servants—Zo and I didn’t find anyone alive in the castle. There were bodies everywhere.” I consider the fact that I expected Chesleigh to be dead at Lilith’s hand, but hope always lets me down, so I don’t dare hope for anyone else’s escape. “A stable boy found us in the stables, and we yelled at him to run. I don’t—I don’t know if he did, or if he got away. A monster chased us off the grounds. I don’t know if Lilith turned Rhen into something—or if it was her. Or if …” I glance at the sky, and I drop my voice and shiver. “Or if it was something like Iisak.”

“He and I have spoken of that,” Grey says. “Magesmiths were once great allies of the scravers, but they were treaty-bound to Karis Luran to stay in the ice forests of Iishellasa. Now Karis Luran is dead, and it’s possible Lilith has recruited an ally.” His voice is grim.

I shiver again. “So Rhen could be stuck there with her and something like him?”

“Possibly.”

“Could she have turned him into a monster again?”

“She did it once; I have no doubt she could do it again.” He pauses. “Especially if she manipulated him into another curse. There is an element of consent in that kind of magic. Rhen agreed to the curse the first time to save his own life, and we both paid the price.”

“Can you do that, Grey?” My voice is very quiet, because I’m a little scared of the answer. “Turn someone into a … into a monster?”

“I haven’t tried.” He hesitates. “Rhen lost nearly all sense of himself when he transformed. I can’t do that to another.”

“What if …” I swallow, then rush on before I chicken out. “What if you did it to me?”

He frowns. “What? No.”

“You once said that when he was a monster, Rhen was a creature of magic who could harm Lilith. What if you turned me into something like … something like that? What if I could defeat her myself? What if I—”

“What if you tore apart my soldiers? What if you turned north and cut a swath through Rhen’s ranks? What if you killed Lilith—and then Rhen himself? No, Harper. No.”

“But—”

“What if you killed me, and no one had any hope of stopping you?” He shakes his head forcefully. “You did not see the damage he caused, season after season. You do not want that. I assure you.” He shudders, just a bit, but it’s not something I’ve ever seen him do, and it’s more profound than his words. “I assure you.”

I set my jaw and look back at the fire. He has one dagger. Even I can see that his magic won’t hold up to Lilith’s. This all feels hopeless.

“As always,” he says, and his voice is lower, more gentle, “your goals are noble. Heroic.” A pause. “As I said once before, I could have chosen no one better, my lady.”

I turn my head and look at him. He said that in the castle, when Rhen had turned into a monster. Everything seemed so very hopeless then, too.

I sniff back tears. “You do care. I know you do.”

“I do.” He looks back at the fire and sighs. “I’m just not sure it’s enough.”





CHAPTER FORTY

GREY

The night sky is ink-black and dotted with stars as our horses pick their way across the uneven terrain. We’re less than an hour away from Ironrose Castle, and I could likely find my way back blindfolded. I remember riding these hills when I was a member of the Royal Guard, and then later, when I did my best to lead Rhen-the-monster away from the people.

Jake rides beside me, but we’ve been quiet for hours, as we’ve given orders to maintain silence as much as possible. There’s no tension between me and him, though I worried his loyalty to his sister might cause a rift between us. But tonight, Harper is riding near the back with Tycho, and Jake is at my side, alert as ever.

Now that we’re so close, my heart tightens with dread. I left Lia Mara in Syhl Shallow with a promise to return, but we’ve already faced one ambush—and we have no idea what Rhen could have planned, or what Lilith could have done. I have no idea who in the palace might still present a risk to Lia Mara. I have no idea whether she will have understood my message, or how she will respond. With every step I take toward Ironrose Castle, my heart beats a plea for me to return to the Crystal Palace, to protect her at all costs.