A Vow So Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers, #3)(78)

Jake speaks into the silence. “Grey would have fixed your ankle, too.”

I shiver, and this time it has nothing to do with the cold. Maybe it was miraculous how Grey made the infection go away and the wound heal over, but I keep thinking of Lilith’s fingers tearing out the muscle and tendons of Dustan’s neck with the same kind of torturous power. I came here because he supposedly has magic, but knowing about it and experiencing it are two very different things. “Once was enough.”

Jake frowns. “What does that mean?”

I say nothing. I don’t even know what to say.

“So Rhen is terrified of magic and now you are too?” he says.

“I’m not terrified.” But I am. It’s obvious I am. I saw what Lilith could do. I felt her rip Zo right off the back of my horse.

“I told you to come with me, Harp. I told you.”

It takes me a moment to realize he means months ago, when Grey first fled Emberfall with Lia Mara.

I frown. “I’m so glad I showed up half-dead and you’re deciding to start with ‘I told you so.’ ”

He looks out the window, too. “From the looks of you, it’s a miracle you’re not all the way dead.”

I’m not sure what to say to that either. “It was really hard to get here, Jake.”

“I’m not talking about the journey, Harper.” His eyes snap back to me. “I’m talking about whatever happened with Lilith. With Rhen. How many times do you need to sacrifice yourself for that guy for you to realize that you’re the only one losing everything. Every single time.”

I think of Rhen, his eyes so warm and intent on mine. I will try for peace. I am not yielding to Grey, Harper. I am yielding to you. For you.

My eyes fill. I’m not the only one losing everything. Rhen is too. “It wasn’t like that, Jake. He’s not like that.”

Jake swears and looks away. “You sound like Mom.”

That hits me like a bullet. My arms fold across my midsection, but my emotions can’t be contained. Tears spill down my cheeks.

My brother sighs. He eases off the seat to drop to his knees in front of me, and he reaches for my hands. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I just—I wish you could see yourself. When I walked into that cell and saw you lying there—”

I pull a hand out of his to swipe at my eyes. “Rhen didn’t do this to me.”

“Yeah, well, he couldn’t stop it.”

“He could be dead, Jake. She might have killed him.” But as I say it, I don’t think it’s true. She could have killed him a hundred times over. A million times over.

Once he’s dead, her game is done.

“Well,” says Jake. “You’re not dead. You made it. You’re safe.”

I blink at him. “What?”

“You’re here.” He pauses, looking back at me. “You made it.”

“You think—you think I came here because I was running away?” My tears dry up in a hurry. Is that what everyone thinks? Is that why I’ve been packed into a carriage instead of sitting down to strategize?

Jake looks at me like I’m insane—which confirms it. “Yes?”

“No, you idiot.” I swipe at my eyes again, then shove him in the chest. “I came here for help.”





CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

RHEN

The castle is cold and silent, but I don’t mind the chill. If this were midsummer, the stench of the bodies would be interminable. I’m willing to freeze to death anyway, so I haven’t lit a fire in days. I still don’t have the courage to look in a mirror. My left eye has been dark and blind since Lilith attacked us, and when I touch a hand to my face, all I find are raised ridges of thick scabs and swelling that aches when my fingertips drift over it.

It’s only been a few months since the curse was broken, following an eternity of isolation with Grey, but somehow I quickly forgot how quiet Ironrose becomes when there are no guards and servants in the halls, no children laughing as they race up the staircases, no rattling dishes, no ruffling papers, no clanging swords in the training arena.

Lilith left the bodies in the halls, telling me to think on my crimes while they rotted around me. When the curse first held me captive, she did the same with my family, but I was a monster then. When the season reset, everything in the palace returned to its former state from the first morning she cursed me: no dead bodies, no one at all.

This time, there’s no curse—and even if the enchantress were to offer a means out of this hell, I would refuse. But maybe she knows I’ve learned my lesson, or maybe she thinks this is better than watching me fail for another eternity. No curse is offered. No bargain. No means of relief. Every hallway of Ironrose reeks of blood and death. I gagged on it for hours and locked myself in an empty room—but eventually, I had to eat. I might be willing to freeze to death, but starving to death felt too much like torturing myself.

Lilith probably won’t let me die anyway. She won’t let me run. She promised to follow if I tried, to slaughter anyone who dared to offer me shelter. So here I remain. I haven’t seen her in days, though I don’t dare to hope that she’s done with me. Grey is gone. Harper is dead. What else can she take? Despair is all that’s left.

I’ve spent my hours pulling bodies out of the castle, dragging them on velvet carpets one by one down the marble steps, then loading them into a wagon I’ve hitched myself. One horse is missing from the stable: Ironwill, my favorite steed—and Harper’s, too. In a way, I’m glad he’s gone, though I hope he escaped through the woods after Lilith killed Harper and Zo. Then again, the enchantress is easily vicious and vindictive enough to kill my horse, too.