A Vow So Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers, #3)(56)

This might feel like a retreat, but at this moment, I don’t feel as though I’ve lost anything at all.



Harper and I haven’t ridden double since the first day she arrived in Emberfall. Then, she’d tried to escape from Ironrose and ended up saving Freya and her children. We needed extra horses, so Harper rode at my back when we went to the Crooked Boar Inn to secure a room for the others. She hated me then.

She might hate me now, honestly. I have no idea.

Then again, I don’t think so. Her arms are tight around my waist as Ironwill steadfastly canters along the road. She did not balk when I considered her pained expression and offered to share a horse.

But she hasn’t said anything since we left the city.

Nor have I.

My feelings of betrayal from hours ago, when I learned of Lilith’s visit, have wilted and shriveled into nothing. That felt petty and impudent, the way I was in the early days of the curse, when I thought I could stomp my foot and give an order and the world would right itself. She was trying to protect me, as I’ve tried to protect her. In the castle, in front of my guardsmen, it made me feel weak and powerless. But when I saw Harper overwhelmed by the men in that crowd, I … I forgot everything else.

Once we’ve put a few miles between us and Silvermoon, I let the horse slow to a walk. At my back, Harper remains silent. Dustan rides close, but the other guards have fallen back. Chesleigh is among them, riding beside Zo.

On the steps, Chesleigh said, “Sometimes making an example of one gets the attention of many,” and those words keep ringing in my thoughts. It feels like something my father would have said. My father would have killed Marshal Perry without hesitation. My father wouldn’t be in this mess.

I keep telling Harper that Grey isn’t suited to be a king when I have no idea whether I am.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly.

Harper’s soft voice at my shoulder takes me by surprise. No, the apology takes me by surprise.

I turn my head slightly, seeking her eyes, but she’s looking out at the countryside, her cheek pressed to my shoulder.

“I just wanted to warn you,” she continues. “I mean … I guess you didn’t need it. But I’m sorry I … I ruined whatever you were going to do.”

I spend a moment trying to figure out her tone. It sounds suspiciously similar to the way I feel: Uncertain. Ineffective. Vulnerable.

“You ruined nothing,” I say.

“Well, you were about to say something to the crowd, and I came crashing in—”

“I was about to order the death of the Grand Marshal. One of my guards was about to slaughter his son.”

That shocks her into silence, and I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“As you see,” I continue. “You ruined nothing. You stopped me from taking an action I could not undo.” I pause. “I want my people to have faith that I will do right by them. I have spent so much time resorting to violence that it has begun to feel like the only solution.”

She’s still quiet, but I sense her judgment riding on the cold air. Ironwill tugs at the reins, so I give him another few inches to stretch his neck, then reach out a hand to rub the itchy spot under his mane, just where he likes.

“I thought you were mad,” Harper says.

“Mad?” I feel her shift, so I turn my head and catch a glimpse of her blue eyes. “I am furious that Marshal Perry sought to trap me. I don’t think his intent was violence, but it could have quickly turned to that. I am angry that I anticipated gaining another few thousand soldiers for the King’s Army, and now I am leaving empty-handed.”

“No—I mean, I thought you were mad at me.”

I hesitate, then rest a hand over hers, where she grips tight against my sword belt. Her fingers are cold from the wind, but they grow warmer under mine. “No. I am grateful that you thought to warn me.” Another pause, as I consider the order I was about to give. “I am grateful that you arrived at exactly that moment.”

She’s quiet again, but this time it’s contemplative, so I wait.

Eventually, she says, “But … you were pissed off before. You were being such a jerk on the way to Silvermoon.”

“Ah.” I frown. “I was struggling with thoughts of betrayal.”

“Betrayal.” Her voice is hollow. “Like … with Chesleigh?”

“What?” I turn my head again. A cold breeze rushes across the fields, making her shiver at my back. “Betrayal with Chesleigh? I do not understand.”

She ducks her head. “Never mind. What kind of betrayal?”

“Lilith came to you.”

She freezes. I can feel the shock reverberate through her body. “Dustan told you.”

“He is my guard commander. Of course he told me.”

She straightens, her head lifting from my shoulder. “I should have known.” She raises her voice. “Hey, Dustan. Maybe you should—”

“Harper.” I keep my voice low, placating. “You once asked me not to fault those close to you for their loyalty.”

She clamps her mouth shut, then sighs. “Ugh. Fine.” She pauses. “He didn’t have to lie about it.”

“Neither did you.”

She says nothing to that.