A Valley of Darkness (A Shade of Vampire #52)(28)

“I don’t get it. You say no, but everything else about you says yes. Why are you so bent on driving a wedge between us, when it all points to… to this, whatever this is?”

He confused the hell out of me, over and over, and I never learned my lesson. I always tried to dig deeper instead of simply walking away. But I couldn’t just move on from Jax.

You don’t move on from Jaxxon Dorchadas. You burn, you disintegrate, you abandon yourself in his arms, but you don’t walk away from him. He’s the flame, and you’re the moth.

“Hansa, I’m no good for you. If we take this any further, if I let you entertain this, I’ll end up hurting you, and you will never forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself, either. Yes, I can feel it. There’s chemistry between us, and it’s messing with my head, but… I can’t. We can’t.”

He seemed earnest, but without a reason, a real reason behind his withdrawal, I just couldn’t let him push me away like this.

“Jax, it’s not enough for you to tell me it’s you, not me,” I replied, my pulse racing. “I deserve a little more than what you usually tell some needy lady friend, and you know it. I—”

“That’s enough, Hansa,” Jax shot back through gritted teeth. “Back off. I’ve been more than clear!”

He didn’t wait for a reply. He just walked away, leaving me in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by pairs of Exiled Maras who hadn’t paid attention to our squabble, who were too busy laughing and following the melodious notes of the strings-and-key music echoing through the ballroom.

My heart twisted itself into knots, and my eyes felt hot, my vision blurring as tears formed. I couldn’t stop them from rolling down my burning cheeks.

I was angry and hurt, and I wanted to punish him for what I’d been reduced to. I moved in the opposite direction, looking for the nearest bar. I needed a drink.

I didn’t deserve this, but I couldn’t hold myself back, either.

Wow, you really are the moth…





Harper





(Daughter of Hazel & Tejus)





Avril and Heron had already returned from the Roho mansion, so keeping Caspian busy was no longer as high on my to-do list as getting some answers out of him was. But the chances of the latter happening still felt like dim to none. I’d talked about this with the team before the Spring Ball, and yet I was still building up the courage to ask him to dance. Dammit.

I’d done nothing but procrastinate so far—from raiding the bar twice and sampling different blood cocktails, to catching up with Scarlett and Caia through the crowd. I needed to do my job now, but my nerves were incessantly twisting and turning. My sentry abilities were useless in the ballroom, as the Exiled Maras were immune to my mind-manipulation. I couldn’t poke through the Imen’s heads either. They would’ve sensed me, and it would’ve then triggered unwanted attention. I had to do this the old-fashioned way.

I walked along the edge of the dancefloor, moving closer to a broad staircase that spiraled up in a corner, leading to the floor above. Caspian stood at the bottom of it, watching me. His expression was stoic, giving nothing away.

He’d seen me, so I had to keep going. I mulled over different ways of asking him to dance, but a couple of Maras bumped into me, and my lines went out the window. They giggled and apologized, then walked off to a nearby table. I looked up, and Caspian was gone.

I cursed under my breath, then walked up the stairs, scanning the ballroom, but there was no sign of him.

He must have gone upstairs. Do I follow?

I shook my head, returning to the ground floor. My back was to the dancing crowd, and I kept looking up the stairs, wondering if I’d catch a glimpse of him somewhere. I took a step back and bumped into a pillar. Or at least it felt like a pillar.

I turned around and froze. Caspian stood before me, his jade eyes scanning me quietly.

“Were you worried about me?” His voice was low and raspy, resonating inside my ribcage.

“What? No, no.” I gave him a weak, polite smile. “I just… I…”

My voice trailed off, and I lost myself for half a minute, his gaze too intense. It was incredibly difficult to hold my own in front of him, mainly because I couldn’t get any kind of reading on his thoughts, and his expression was so neutral, with so many secrets hiding behind it.

“You what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Okay, just let it out. What’s the worst that could happen? He’ll say no and you’ll get another drink. No big deal.

“I was wondering if you’d like to dance with me,” I mumbled, looking at the floor.

When no answer came from him, I gathered the courage to look up. Caspian was staring at me, appearing genuinely befuddled. A peculiar heat wave washed over me as he cocked his head to one side.

“You want to dance. With me.” He repeated my question, as if unsure he’d heard it right.

I exhaled sharply, then nodded, mentally preparing myself to tell him it was okay if he didn’t want to dance, and thinking about which blood cocktail I’d try next instead.

“Why would you want to dance with me, Miss Hellswan? You’re clearly under the impression that I want to see you burning at a stake, I believe,” he said.

This was a bad idea.