A Valley of Darkness (A Shade of Vampire #52)(27)

Heron nodded, then sprang to his feet and pulled Avril onto the dancefloor, while Caia stood, gave me a brief smile, then headed toward the bar for a refill. There were several handsome Maras there, waiting to be served, who lit up like the sun once they saw Caia heading their way.

Jax then guided me back to the middle of the dancing crowd. He was a good leader, I realized, as I followed his movements effortlessly. I was even enjoying myself, maybe a little too much.

His body was so close to mine, his musky fragrance invading my senses and his jade eyes peeking into my very soul… It all felt too good to be true. His grip was firm on my lower back, and the touch of his skin sent electric currents through my left arm, heating me up from the core.

“You should relax now,” he said quietly. “Enjoy the rest of this evening. We have a full day and night ahead of us tomorrow.”

“What makes you think I’m not relaxed?” I murmured.

“I can hear your heartbeat.”

My breath hitched. His face was close, too close for my sanity.

“I’m fine,” I whispered. “We’re fine…”

His gaze dropped, settling on my lips for a second finding my eyes again. My heart rumbled and my stomach tightened, and I knew he could sense it all, but I couldn’t control myself. He had this effect on me, and I loved and hated it at the same time. It was exhilarating and empowering like crazy, but it also made me feel vulnerable, bare, and defenseless in front of him. And with how unpredictable he’d been about us over the past three months, I feared emotional pain. I’d had enough of that already. I was still mourning the hundreds of sisters I’d lost in the war.

“You are fine,” he muttered. “Yellow brings out your eyes.”

I blinked several times, not sure I’d heard him right. But I had. He’d just complimented me.

That’s a first…

“Thank you,” I managed. “You’re not so bad looking either.”

“Am I to your liking?” The corner of his mouth turned upward, but the rest of his face stayed firm, as if carved out of marble. The blood rushed to my head, and I could no longer control my succubus nature. I’d spent years perfecting my technique of reigning it all in, but Jax made me want to just let go and see what happened.

His gaze darkened, and he took a deep breath, his chest swelling and pushing against mine, but his hold on me didn’t loosen one bit. Another millimeter and our bodies would have fused, clothes and all.

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” I replied, my voice barely audible.

His lips were dangerously close, his burning jade eyes searing into my being.

“Is this what you feel like? When you let your succubus nature loose?”

I nodded, unable to say anything else.

“You’ve never let it out before. Not with me, anyway,” he murmured.

The world around us disappeared, the music slipping away somewhere into the background. My hand rested on his shoulder, and I instinctively moved it upward, until my fingers sprawled on the back of his neck, his short hair brushing against my skin.

Jax held his breath for a good minute. Neither of us spoke. I waited, quietly swaying to the rhythm of the music, a rhythm he led with his body. I waited for him to come forward. I needed him to take the first step. The magnetism between us was undeniable. There was something deep and intense burning inside us both, and it pulled us closer with each day, no matter how hard we tried to resist it.

Who was I fooling? I needed him to kiss me. I needed to know that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I couldn’t open myself up without that assurance.

But then Jax looked away, and with that movement, the moment was shattered. The music grew louder. I could hear laughter and glasses clinking. And I could feel his hold on me loosen.

The song had ended, and he took a step back.

My blood sizzled.

You don’t start a fire like this and then just walk away.

“I’m not done with you,” I growled, and pulled him back.

The move clearly surprised him—his forehead smoothed, and his jade eyes went wide. I kept my hand firmly on the back of his neck but tucked my succubus nature away. He didn’t seem sure of how to react, but I wasn’t going to let him slip away and leave me yearning for more without at least telling me why he was being so… difficult.

“What’s going on, Jax?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t take me for a fool,” I replied, my voice raw. “You can feel it… This… Between us. I know you can.”

“I do,” he said, staring at my lips again.

“So why are you constantly pushing me away? What did I ever do to you? Why… Why aren’t we… Why aren’t we doing something about this, if we both feel it?”

“We’ve talked about this before, Hansa.” His eyes found mine, and I could see a flicker of pain in them, one I’d never seen before.

“No, not really.” I shook my head. “I tried to talk about it, but you were evasive, and, on several occasions, even mind-bent me into not talking about it anymore. Don’t think I didn’t catch on. I’m not stupid!”

“Hansa… please.” He sighed. “I’m… It’s not you—it’s me. You don’t want this, believe me.”