A Passion for Pleasure(67)

Sebastian let his gaze wander over his wife, appreciating the curves beneath her dark green dress, the coils of hair spilling around her neck, the warmth in her eyes as she rose to greet him. A mixture of tenderness and unease churned through him.

“I was just telling Mrs. Hall I regret not having attended your wedding,” Darius said. “But owing to the circumstances…”

“What are you doing here?”

The abruptness of the question didn’t appear to offend his brother. Darius settled back into his chair, a grave expression steadying across his face.

“Catherine Leskovna leaves at the end of the month.” Darius folded one leg over the other and studied the brandy in his glass as if it were a specimen under a microscope. “I’d suggest you pay her a visit before she pays you one.”

“She wouldn’t dare.”

“She might. She just wants to speak with you, Bastian. What harm is there in that?”

Sebastian felt Clara’s gaze as if she were touching him, felt her silent urging. Although he knew it would be his doom, he turned his head to meet her violet eyes.

Dammit.

He shot his brother a pointed look. Darius pushed himself to standing and murmured a farewell to Clara before seeing himself out.

“Please don’t deny her this,” Clara said the moment the door closed.

“You know nothing about her.”

“She came to see me this afternoon.”

Sebastian’s spine stiffened with wariness. “What?”

“She wanted to learn the details of our marriage. She also knows of my father’s reputation for cruelty. While I revealed nothing about your resignation from Weimar, I did tell her the circumstances that led to my estrangement from Fairfax.”

“She doesn’t deserve to know anything.”

“She is still your mother,” Clara said. “Whatever she’s done, you cannot deny her the opportunity to see her son again.”

“After what she did, I can deny her anything,” Sebastian snapped.

Clara studied him a moment, then approached and curled her hand around the lapel of his coat. “You’re not the slightest bit curious to hear what she would say to you? Are there no questions you wish to ask her? Nothing you want to tell her?”

Sebastian’s heart pulsed against his rib cage. For almost three years, questions had amassed in his mind until his head ached with them. And beneath it all lay the pervasive memory of listening to his mother play the piano and knowing he was the only one of his family who understood how music could soothe all the rough edges of one’s life. The only one who understood, somehow, that his mother’s seemingly flawless life might actually have rough edges.

He had tried to rid himself of that memory, not wanting to remember anything that would soften his anger toward her, but still it remained, like fresh grass buried beneath layers of hard winter ice.

“You know I would give anything to see my son again,” Clara said. “I cannot believe your mother doesn’t feel the same way. And trust me when I tell you that you will regret it if you do not grant her a meeting before she leaves London. What if you’re never given an opportunity again?”

Sebastian tried to smother the anger roiling in his chest. He wrapped a lock of her long hair around his finger. “If I agree to meet her, what will you give me?”

Startled, Clara drew back to look up at him. “What will I give you?”

“Mmm.” He rubbed his thumb along the soft strands of hair. “You devised all the arrangements for our marriage. I’d help you transfer Wakefield House if you helped me find the cipher machine plans. So if I agree to see my mother, what boon will you grant me in return?”

“You…” Her breath shortened, her violet eyes darkening. “You insisted upon your own conditions to our agreement. Do you not recall?”

“Oh, I recall.” He wished now he’d insisted on a few more conditions. Creative ones. “This, however, is a new request that requires new conditions.”

Clara frowned. “You are trying to divert my attention from the subject at hand.”

“Is it working?”

“Sebastian.” Clara lifted a hand to cover his. Though her voice was stern, a smile twitched her lips. “You know I will give you anything you wish in return. But please don’t make a decision based on that. Make a decision based on what your heart tells you to do.”

“That was not how you made your decision to propose,” Sebastian reminded her.