A Passion for Pleasure(65)

Clara’s fingers tightened on her cup. “Why are you so insistent upon seeing Sebastian? Haven’t you caused him enough pain?”

Catherine lowered her gaze to her teacup, concealing whatever reaction she had to the barbed question. When she spoke, her voice was soft. “Of all five of my children, Sebastian is the one most likely to understand why I did what I did.”

“Why Sebastian?”

“Because he has always followed his heart, his instincts, regardless of what people have said. He has always been so confident in his decisions. In his place in the world. He has never done anything unless he was certain he wanted to.”

Clara’s throat tightened as she remembered Sebastian’s words of love. Even when she first proposed, had he truly wanted to marry her? Had he followed his heart?

She pressed a hand to her chest, feeling her own heart, which had taken such a tangled, labyrinthine path during the past year. She had once believed that path could lead her only to Andrew, but now she had to confront the very real possibility that Sebastian, too, stood at the end of her heart’s journey.

But at what cost to Andrew?

Clara blinked away the sting of tears. “Do…do you think Sebastian could be a liaison to your other children, then?” she asked. “That if you make him understand your decisions, he might defend you to the rest of them?”

“No. I need no one to defend me, Mrs. Hall. I’ve long become accustomed to doing that myself.”

A somewhat unwelcome twist of admiration went through Clara as she met the other woman’s resolute gaze. “Then why are you here?”

“When Darius told me Sebastian had married at Rushton’s urging, I couldn’t help but wonder if this union was somehow related to the reason he left Weimar.” Catherine took a sip of tea. “Forgive me, but neither his resignation nor his marriage accord with the man I know Sebastian to be.”

“Perhaps he’s changed.” Clara set her cup down and paced to the windows, her shoulders stiff with tension. “Do you believe he resigned from Weimar because of our marriage?”

“Did he?”

“He resigned last spring, Mrs. Leskovna. I knew Sebastian when I was younger, but did not make his acquaintance again until recently. No. I had nothing to do with his resignation.”

A mild surprise flashed in the other woman’s eyes. “I didn’t think you had a hand in it, Mrs. Hall. I was speaking of your father.”

“My…my father?”

“Forgive me for recalling that he was not the kindest of men.”

“How on earth do you know that?”

“I knew your mother, Mrs. Hall.”

Clara’s knees weakened as shock bolted through her. She sank into a chair, buffeted by a sudden rush of memories. “I…I was not aware of that.”

“We were not close friends, but we shared an interest in several of the same charities and saw each other often at various meetings and teas. I regret to say that the other ladies often remarked on Lord Fairfax’s reputation, though your mother had the grace never to discuss personal matters. I found her to be a kind and thoughtful woman, Mrs. Hall. So did many other ladies of my acquaintance.”

Clara’s jaw tightened as she struggled against another wash of tears. She nodded her gratitude, not trusting herself to speak.

“So when Darius told me Sebastian had married you rather suddenly,” Catherine continued, “I remembered both your mother and the rumors about your father. And while I fully recognize this is none of my business, especially in the shadow of my own decisions, I was concerned about Lord Fairfax’s hand in your hasty engagement.”

“My father did have a hand in our engagement,” Clara admitted, forcing the words past her tight throat. “Though not in the way you think.”

With images of her mother flowing through her mind, Clara found herself confessing everything to Catherine Leskovna—Richard’s death, the will that had granted Fairfax custody of Andrew, Wakefield House, and the reasons behind her proposal to Sebastian. Catherine listened without expression, but smiled when Clara explained that Sebastian had agreed to marry her in part to satisfy his father’s ultimatum.

“I believe Lord Rushton capable of such an ultimatum,” Catherine said. “But Sebastian would not have agreed to marry you had he not wanted to, regardless of Rushton’s threats. I hope you know that.”

Clara did. She’d known the moment Sebastian told her their union would be both real and permanent. And in a very secret corner of her heart, Clara had wanted that too.