A Little Bit Sinful(56)
She smiled. “I appreciate the support, honestly I do,” Clarissa said. “But in truth, this is all my doing, completely my fault, my choice.” She shook her head. “I’m a fool.”
“Can you tell us what happened?” Vivian asked gently.
“In my desperation to marry, I recklessly and ruthlessly attempted to compromise myself.” She laughed, her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. “And I suppose it worked.” She tossed up her arms in defeat. “I am officially ruined.”
Marcus shook his head. “Seems to be a bit of an epidemic lately.”
Vivian patted Clarissa’s knee. “It has always been the way. Women are forced into lives where we have no choices. We’re told whom we must marry and we’re often sold off to the highest bidder. London is a pot simmering and it’s about to over boil.”
“Lovely metaphor, my dear,” Marcus said.
“Yes, well, it is the truth. And the man in question?” Vivian asked.
“It was me,” a male voice said from the door.
Clarissa looked up to see Justin standing in the entrance to the parlor. His presence was enough to start the wellspring of tears she’d thus far been able to hold off. “No, Justin, don’t.”
“I ruined her and I will marry her,” Justin said, ignoring her protest.
Marcus came to his feet. “We’ve been friends for years, Justin, but if you defiled my sister, I might be forced to hurt you.”
“Oh stop it.” Clarissa stood. “All of you. I know you all mean well, but my goodness. Ever since you’ve returned to London, Marcus, this entire family has surrounded itself with my actions and tried to fix everything. The fact of the matter is I went to see Justin that night because George told me he owed him money, which as it turns out is a complete lie because all of his gambling is done not at Rodale’s but rather Rafferty’s, a horrific place down by the Thames.” She took a deep breath. “In my utter insanity and drive to marry George, I mistakenly believed him to be an honest man, a true gentleman. I ignored everyone’s warnings. I was so afraid of what choices I might make outside of him, and I tried to coerce him in to marrying me and he walked out. I honestly can’t say that I blame him. No one needs to pick up the pieces of my mess in an attempt to clean it up. I made a mistake, I shall endure the consequences.”
“So you were in the room with George?” Vivian asked. “You tried to compromise yourself?”
Clarissa took a deep breath. “I thought that if George and I were found alone together, it would be enough. He, as it turned out, had other intentions. That was when Lady Wooten found us.” She gave Justin a weak smile. “It was George. Justin is simply being noble.” Tears stung the back of her eyes. Oh how she wished she wouldn’t cry.
Marcus shook Justin’s hand. “I am thankful I will not have to hurt you. I am rather fond of you.”
“I still wish to marry her. We’ve been seen together; everyone will believe it was me. We can simply say we were already engaged.”
“You were never courting me though,” Clarissa said. She’d longed for a proposal from Justin, but not like this, not in a forced situation. “I’m certain everyone knows that, if they’ve even been paying any attention. No one would honestly believe—”
“That you would lower yourself to be wooed by me?” Justin asked sharply.
Clarissa met his gaze, anger burned in his amber eyes. “No, I was going to say that no one would believe that a man such as yourself would be interested in a woman the likes of me.”
Vivian stepped forward. “Perhaps a discussion meant for later.” She smiled warmly. “Let us all sit and we can have tea and decide how to proceed. Because regardless of what actually happened tonight, Clarissa, your reputation is now damaged beyond anything I can repair. Especially in light of my own actions as of late.”
Most people had accepted Vivian even after her public admission of being a fallen woman, but there were still others who had not been so forgiving. Marcus called for a tea tray and added brandy to the list for himself and Justin.
“I am willing to marry her,” Justin said again. “But I will not beg you,” he said to Clarissa.
“I was a fool. Just as you told me I’d be and just as Ella warned me. I didn’t listen to any of you. George is not at all the man I thought he was.” So now she was brought to the reality that she had a difficult choice. She could resign herself to living in the country or she could marry Justin, a man she knew had no real interest in marrying anyone in society. A man who desired her, but didn’t love her. A man who was far more honorable than she’d ever given him credit for. Funny, she had resigned herself to marry George knowing he didn’t really love or want her, believing he would follow through merely to satisfy his honor. That she had been prepared to do; however, it was a good deal less palatable now that the man who didn’t love her was Justin.