A List of Cages(33)

“Adam?” She lowers her sharp fingernails to my zipper. “I don’t want to look at your feet.”





AT SCHOOL ON Monday, the girls are acting weird. Even sweet, motherly Allison, who normally stays out of conflicts, is on edge. Camila and Emerald won’t look at me, and the other girls keep glaring at me like I’m evil. What the hell?

“So how long’s this fight gonna go on, ladies?” I ask, and the entire lunch table goes silent. “It’d be better if we just got it out in the open. Full transparency. Right?”

Camila is studying the same sharp nails that left scratches down my neck.

Emerald flushes, pink blotches high on her cheekbones. “Camila knows what she did,” she finally says, and the look she gives the other girl is chilling.

“Oh my God,” Camila hisses. “I’ve apologized like a thousand times. I was drunk! And besides, he’s not your property.”

Everyone holds their breath, waiting for Emerald’s response like she’s the star witness who’s finally taken the stand.

At least I get it now. “So this is about Brett.” I sigh. “You can’t let some guy come between your friendship. Girl power, right?” That must’ve come off more insulting than encouraging, because now everyone’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“That’s not…” Emerald starts, and everyone leans forward in tense anticipation. “It’s nothing.” With perfect poise, she gathers her things and leaves the table.


“Julian, let me explain something to you,” I say as we head up the stairs on our convoluted route to Dr. Whitlock’s. “Girls are crazy.”

He looks at me doubtfully.

“It’s true. I was raised by a woman, okay? I was raised to be a feminist. But then I realized this fact: they’re insane.”

“Did something happen?”

“None of them are speaking to me! Half of them aren’t speaking to each other, and Emerald isn’t speaking to anyone. We have a field trip to an art museum on Thursday, so that should make for a fun bus ride.”

“The girls in your grade don’t like you?” He looks at me with so much sympathy that I want to laugh. “The girls in my grade like you,” he adds quickly, obviously trying to cheer me up. “They always talk about you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, they talk about your, um…” He looks down, embarrassed.

“My what?”

“Well…”

“Jesus, what, Julian?”

“Your lips.”

“Oh, I thought we were going in a totally different direction for a minute there.”

“I didn’t even know boys could have pretty lips. You don’t wear lipstick.”

I have no idea how to respond to that. “They’re just crazy,” I find myself repeating.

“Crazier than Charlie?”

He has a point. “Okay, a different sort of crazy. Charlie’s just a pissed-off person, so you get it, but with the girls I have no freakin clue. I mean, we should all be happy today. A bunch of us got our letters, but instead everyone’s just…I don’t even know.”

“Your letters?”

“Yeah. College acceptance letters. It’s not a huge deal. We all knew we were getting in, but still.”

“Which college?”

“Risley. About an hour from here.” He doesn’t look particularly impressed. “Yeah, I know, but I never really wanted to go somewhere far away. My mom’s here, and all my friends are going there, so yeah.”

“Will you live at home?”

“No, the dorms. Part of the college experience, you know? What about you?”

“Me?”

“Do you have any idea where you want to go?”

“I’m not going to college.”

“Why not?”

“My grades aren’t good.”

“Not everyone who goes to college has amazing grades.”

“You do.”

“But do you want to go?”

“Does that really matter?”

His question startles me for a minute. “Does what you want matter? Of course it matters.”

We head back down the stairs and out into the courtyard. It’s cold, so I hop up and down for a minute to warm up while Julian leans against the brick wall.

“Leaving,” he says, “does sound fun. When I was younger I always wanted…”

I wait for him to finish his thought, but the thing with Julian is sometimes you can wait, but sometimes you have to push. “What?”

“Adventure?” He looks wary, like he thinks I’m about to make fun of him.

“Yeah, I can totally see that.” I nod enthusiastically enough to keep him talking.

“I really liked movies and books about people exploring new places. When I was little, I never wondered how I’d do it. I just knew one day I would go everywhere. But when you get older, you realize wanting isn’t the same as having. There are all those places you want to go, but it doesn’t mean you can actually get there.” He takes a breath. “When I was little…in our backyard…”

“Yeah?”