A Headstrong Woman(16)

Chapter Five





If there was one benefit to the extremely cold Montana winter, it was that Elijah was in the house more often. Being in the house more often meant he could observe his wife and get to know her better. Once they had agreed to get to know each other and she had relaxed, he found her company to be delightful. She had a way of telling stories about Lilly’s antics throughout the day that kept him laughing in the evening. She kept the house graced with greenery or color of some nature all through the bleak days and her smile could easily light a room. Just before Christmas he cut a tree and brought it in for her to decorate.

Watching her and Lilly made him feel old. Alexandria was full of energy; she turned the tree decorating into a game. She and Lilly cut snowflakes from paper, Alexandria knit angles; together they all strung popcorn for a popcorn chain. Elijah wasn’t certain if he would call what he was feeling for his wife love, but he was certainly more drawn to her by the day.

It was on a blustery cold evening in late March that Elijah first kissed his wife. Lilly was already in bed and he was escorting Alexandria upstairs for the night. She had stopped at the door to her room and turned to him with a smile.

“Thank you for the beautiful hair combs. They were a wonderful present,” she told him. He had intended to give her the combs for Christmas but had chickened out. Seeing her hair pulled up on the sides with the rest hanging down her back in soft curls had impacted him more than he feared. He was learning not to fear his growing attraction to her. He had come to realize that learning to like her, perhaps even love her was not a betrayal of Martha at all.

“They suit you,” Elijah’s hand came to her jaw to tilt her chin as he stepped forward. He kissed her gently, then again more ardently. It took Elijah a moment to register that Alexandria wasn’t responding. He broke the kiss and looked into her tear filled eyes.

“I’m sorry, Elijah; I’m not ready,” she whispered.

He released her and took a step backward. “I understand.”

“I am so sorry,” she repeated before hurrying into her room and shutting the door behind her.

Elijah was surprised at the sting the rejection left. Your pain is only a fraction of what she felt when you left standing alone on her wedding night, a voice taunted. Elijah winced; then nodded his agreement with the words. His heart heavy, he turned for his room.



Alexandria sank against her door as tears streamed down her face. She hated that she had hurt her husband and her friend, but a friend was all he was to her. After months of getting to know her husband she had come to count him as a friend but felt none of the attraction she had initially felt for him when she had married him. It was as though the more she got to know him the less attractive he was as a mate but that was what he was, her mate. She had just turned her husband away from her bed and if her mother knew she would give her a tongue-lashing. She should go to him and invite him into her room or herself into his but couldn’t do it, not yet; she needed time to adjust to the idea.

***



Elijah pulled his coat closer and wondered if he could possibly have chosen a worse day for a trip to town. It couldn’t be helped though and he knew it. They were out of supplies that just couldn’t wait. Jonathon, his own coat pulled tight, sat beside him.

“What’s on your mind? You’re awfully quiet,” Jonathon initiated conversation.

“You were right, Jonathon; there is a difference between physically knowing someone and really knowing them. The more I get to know my wife the more I like her. I’m falling for her.”

“That’s great, Eli.”

“I got a small glimpse last night of just how deeply I hurt her…” he paused, seemed to consider sharing more then obviously decided against it.

“What about you? You have to be aware that you have quite a throng of admirers at church. Have you considered moving on, maybe marrying again?” Elijah didn’t mention that his own sister-in-law was at the head of the pack. When he and Alexandria had dined at the Cannons the previous Sunday, she had managed to corner him and ask at least a dozen questions about his foreman.

“No, I haven’t, not yet. Emily’s been gone only eight months; I don’t think I’m ready to look at women like that yet.”

“I completely understand,” Elijah nodded. “The ladies at church, however, aren’t quite so understanding.”

“Trust me I know. If it isn’t the daughters it’s the mothers.”