A Headstrong Woman(111)
“You don’t have to knock,” she chastised.
“In the future I probably won’t,” he told her.
Alexandria returned to her dressing table and picked up her brush, though her attention remained on Jonathon’s reflection in the mirror rather than her own. He had removed his shirt and she found herself admiring his broad shoulders and well-muscled back and chest. He was an attractive man, she admitted to herself and he was her husband. Jonathon sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots and Alexandria watched the muscles work in his shoulders. Jonathon stood and turned and Alexandria quickly shifted her attention to brushing her hair. Jonathon came to stand behind her and took the brush from her to complete the task.
“You have your mom’s curls but your dad’s hair color,” he commented. “It makes a nice combination.”
“I always wanted Mom’s hair color,” she admitted.
“I think we always want whatever we don’t have; it’s the human condition.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she mused.
“Alexandria, you were put on the spot earlier, if you want me to sleep somewhere else I will,” he offered.
Alexandria froze; did he want to sleep elsewhere? Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach churned; she felt dizzy. Had he decided he wasn’t attracted to her after all?
“Did you hear me, Alexandria?”
She opened her mouth to respond but couldn’t.
“I understand,” he said and turned to leave.
Alexandria jumped to her feet. “Wait!” she called.
Jonathon turned to her.
“Don’t go, please, I don’t want to spend another wedding night alone,” she managed despite the fear of rejection her that churned through her veins.
Jonathon came to stand in front of her and gazed into her upturned face. Her comment told him a lot about her marriage to Elijah and the vulnerability that cloaked her made his heart melt. How was it possible for such a remarkable woman to be unaware of her beauty? He frowned when the full impact of her words hit.
“You spent your wedding night alone?” he asked her and watched misery fill her eyes as she nodded. “Did you ever…your relationship with Elijah…”
“He never touched me until the night before he died and by then I was so confused….” Alexandria let her sentence trail and wondered what Jonathon was thinking.
Jonathon recalled her reaction to several of the men’s bawdy jokes, her reaction to his kiss, and other small things that now made more sense. He also realized that her already low opinion of herself had only been confirmed by Eli’s lack of interest in her and felt his heart break a little.
“You’re shaking,” he commented as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
“I’m nervous, not scared but nervous,” she admitted. “I want you to stay,” she felt heat climb into her cheeks, “and you don’t have to…that is I want…”
“What, Alexandria? You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for,” he reassured her.
Alexandria frowned in frustration; she wished that it wasn’t so hard for her to express herself on this subject. “I am ready, I’m just…nervous.” She forced herself to meet his gaze; she knew that her face had to be as red as the roses in the wall paper.
Jonathon smiled at her. “Can I admit something to you?” he asked and watched dread fill her eyes. She was afraid he was about to reject her, he realized; little did she know. “I’m nervous too.” At his words Alexandria frowned and confusion filled her wide green eyes.
“But…I mean…”
“What? You think just because I’ve been married and this isn’t my first experience that I’m not almost as nervous as you are?” he teased. Alexandria nodded and Jonathon laughed.
“I’m not built like Emily was,” she informed him.
“I haven’t found anything wrong with your build yet,” he told her and watched her blush deepen if that was possible.
“I don’t have any idea what I’m doing,” she admitted.
Jonathon chuckled. “Do you have to have everything figured out and planned out in advance, Alexandria?” he asked; his tone both teasing and affectionate. He watched her smile, the transformation breath taking.
“I prefer to,” she admitted.
“Life will never be boring with you will it, Alexandria?” he asked before kissing her.