A Headstrong Woman(10)
“I’m sorry I inconvenienced you and one of your men today. In the future I will try to make certain I do better.” With that said she turned on her heel and entered the kitchen.
Elijah stared after his wife and wished he could settle this matter but realized that with Millie bustling around the kitchen it would have to wait. He hadn’t meant to make his wife so tense she walked on egg shells around him and it had become clear she was.
It was with a heavy heart that he entered the barn several minutes later and greeted Jonathon where he was still busy grooming the horses.
“Hey, Boss,” Jonathon greeted.
“Hey, Jonathon,” Elijah returned on a sigh.
“I think something happened in town to upset your wife. She nearly talked my ear off all the way there and then barely said two words the whole way back,” he was hoping the man would show some interest in his wife’s wellbeing.
“She talked my ear off before we married, now she says very little to me,” Elijah’s mood soured more by the moment. “I made a mess of things and I don’t know how to fix it, Jonathon. I just don’t know where to start.”
Jonathon was quiet for a moment as he brushed the horse in front of him. He wasn’t sure what to say to the man. He decided to just be direct.
“It’s one thing to know someone…physically and another entirely to really know them and that is exactly my advice; get to know your wife all over again,” Jonathon offered.
“I’m not sure I ever really knew her,” Elijah admitted. “I thought she was a pragmatic, unromantic individual. I knew she was great with Lilly,” Elijah’s frustration was evident in his voice.
Jonathon winced at the idea of anyone being clueless enough to believe a woman unromantic; in his experience such a woman did not exist and if she did, he wasn’t certain he would be interested in knowing her.
“So get to know your wife,” Jonathon suggested.
“Thanks, Jonathon. I wanted to talk with you about something. I am in desperate need of a foreman and I think you would be perfect for the job,” Elijah announced.
Jonathon stopped short and stared at his boss. “I’m honored but there are others here more experienced and deserving. Rusty for instance; hasn’t he been here since the beginning? Rand shows great interest in how it all works…”
Elijah’s raised hand cut him off.
“You just illustrated my point perfectly. You are fair minded and even tempered. Rand will be leaving to start his own place soon and Rusty has, without explanation, turned me down several times. Sparky is too quick tempered and for one reason or another the others don’t suit. I need you, Jonathon.”
“Well, sir, I accept; thank you.”
“Thank you; I’ve needed a foreman for the ranch some time now. Come on; I want to show you the property lines.”
***
Elijah tucked Lilly into bed and returned to the kitchen where his wife was helping Millie put the last of the dishes away. He waited until Millie had retired and Alexandria was moving toward the stairs before he dug up the nerve to approach her.
“Alexandria, I wanted to discuss our marriage; I know we got started on the wrong foot but I want us to work on it,” Elijah stated his case.
Alexandria felt panicked; she couldn’t. She couldn’t hear him put into words the fact that he didn’t love her. She raised her chin and addressed him directly.
“I’m not ready to discuss our mockery of a marriage,” she stated and turned to continue up the stairs.
Elijah sighed and moved into his office. How on earth did he even start to fix things if she wouldn’t even talk with him? He knew he didn’t love her; not like she wanted him to, or had wanted him to as the case may be. She might well hate him by now. He knew, however, that they couldn’t continue on as they were. She had called their marriage a mockery and he winced at the accuracy of the statement, he who held marriage as the most sacred of unions had made a mockery of it.
He owed Alexandria better than she had received since she arrived. She diligently cared for his daughter day in and day out and all she had received in return was heartache and his short temper. How did he pretend something that wasn’t there and what if he pretended it was only to find he really did feel more? He didn’t want to feel more. Martha was the only woman he had ever loved or looked at in that way.
Elijah closed his eyes and recalled Martha’s image, her white blonde curls framing her petite, heart shaped face, her soft womanliness nestled next to him night after night; he could almost feel the warmth of her now. Martha had been so small, so dainty in her femininity; completely opposite of Alexandria. That had, in fact, contributed in his choosing her.