A Christmas Night to Remember(49)
‘It’s a long story,’ Melody said hesitantly.
‘Then all the more reason to get on with it straight away.’
The logic was irrefutable.
An hour and several cups of tea later, Melody was wondering how on earth she could have given her life story to a virtual stranger. Not only that, but she was feeling more relaxed and at home in Mabel’s house than she’d felt in years.
Mabel hadn’t interrupted her as she’d told her about her childhood, her teenage years, meeting Zeke and all the trauma following the accident. She had simply listened. Billy had twitched in his basket as he’d chased imaginary rabbits, making little growling noises in his sleep now and again as his paws had moved convulsively, but otherwise the kitchen had been quiet and still with no distractions.
‘So…’ They had sat in silence for a good ten minutes or more, and Melody was half asleep when Mabel broke the peace. ‘What are you going to say when you go back to the hotel?’
Melody stared at her new friend. ‘I don’t know. What should I do?’ Even to herself her voice sounded beseeching.
‘I can’t tell you, dear, but then you know that. This has to be your decision and yours alone. Only you know how you feel.’
Disappointed, Melody straightened in her chair. ‘I can’t stay with Zeke,’ she said tonelessly, pain tearing through her.
‘Can’t or won’t?’ Mabel asked calmly. ‘There’s a difference. My Arthur and me lost five babies before we had our son. After the fifth, I said I couldn’t go through it again. Arthur didn’t argue with me, bless him, not even when I decided I couldn’t stay here, in this house, with all the memories it held. I wanted to make a fresh start somewhere far away, I told him. Australia, perhaps. I had a brother who’d emigrated and he was doing all right. Or New Zealand, maybe. Anywhere but here, with the little room upstairs decorated as a nursery and the empty cot that had been waiting for a baby for umpteen years.’
Melody was wide awake now, hanging on to Mabel’s every word.
‘And so I made my plans. Arthur was an engineer, very well qualified and the top of the tree in his own particular field, so we could have gone anywhere and he’d have been sure of work. My brother sent me information on some lovely houses close to where he lived, and a colleague of Arthur’s had always said if we ever thought of moving he wanted first option on buying our house, so we didn’t even have to worry about selling it. We said our price and he didn’t quibble. Arthur gave notice at work, and everything was set for emigrating at the end of May. I remember May twenty-eighth was the day we were going to set sail. Funny how some things stay in your mind, isn’t it?’
Melody nodded, transfixed by the drama of the long-ago happenings of the little woman in front of her.
‘It was a lovely spring that year—soft and warm and days of endless sunshine all through April. Girls were wearing summer dresses and everyone was happy. Everyone but me. All our plans had gone smoothly, and Arthur had a good job lined up in Australia, but I knew it wasn’t right. I wanted to go, I needed to go, but it didn’t feel right deep inside—here.’ Mabel touched her heart. ‘You know? I was running way. I knew it but I wouldn’t admit it. And I had good reason for wanting a fresh start—heaven knows I did. I felt I couldn’t bear the future if I stayed. The same cycle of hope and then crushing disappointment when my body let me down again.’
Mabel leaned forward, taking one of Melody’s hands between her own. ‘I felt such a failure, you see. Every time it happened I felt I’d let Arthur down and it was affecting our marriage. I wasn’t the girl he’d married, we both knew that, and although he said he loved me just the same, and that as long as he had me it didn’t matter if the children didn’t come along, I didn’t see it that way. I’d even thought about leaving him. He had three brothers and they all had big families, and Arthur was so good with the children—their favourite uncle. I thought if I left him he could have children with someone else.’
Mabel shook her grey head, making her permed curls bob. ‘I was very mixed up. Confused and hurting and trying to be strong.’
‘Like me,’ Melody whispered, and Mabel squeezed her hand. ‘What happened? Did you get as far as trying out Australia?’
‘Arthur’s mother came round to see me one morning. It was at the end of April and the sun was shining. I opened the door to her and burst into tears. She stayed the whole day and we talked and talked. I’d lost my own mum years before, and I wasn’t one for sharing my troubles with anyone—especially anything private-like. She said something very wise to me that day, and it was a turning point, bless her.’