A Beautiful Forever(42)

A woman comes into the waiting area with a clip board and a file in her hand, “Paige Larsen?” she calls out.

“Thank god,” we say in unison.

The ultrasound technician leads us to a room and gestures for me to lie on the chair in the middle of the room. Elliot stands by me, looking fretful and expectant. As soon as I’ve lifted my shirt to expose my belly, he captures my hand in his and holds it tightly, his eyes darting around taking in everything in the room.

“So how far along do you think you are?” the technician asks.

“20 weeks,” Elliot says, jumping in, he has grilled me thoroughly for every detail about this pregnancy, I think he knows more than I do now.

I laugh at his nerves and the technician smiles. “A nervous father to be?” she asks.

“Very!” I laugh.

“Alright, well let’s get this baby on screen,” she suggests.

The gel is surprisingly warm as she squeezes it over my stomach and uses the transducer to slide it around. An image looks like it’s zooming in and out on the screen at first until she slows her movement, and the picture becomes something discernible.

“There you are little one,” she says as my eyes fill with tears while I’m watching the screen.

“Wow,” Elliot breathes from beside me. “That’s our baby Paige.”

I nod my head, beaming. “It’s beautiful!”

The technician moves the transducer around my stomach and shows us different part of our baby's body. It's moving around so much, and I can’t believe I can’t feel it more than I do, I only get fluttery feelings – like butterflies in my stomach. When she finishes taking the necessary measurements, she turns to us and asks us if we’d like to know the sex.

Elliot and I look at each other, unsure how to respond, “Should it be a surprise?” I ask him.

He looks unsure but says, “Yeah; I think a surprise would be best.”

“Ok? You’re sure?” I check.

“Yes, we’ll wait.”





Elliot


I'm on a complete high right now. I just saw my baby on the screen, and it’s perfect. Everything seems fine, the baby’s healthy. Paige is healthy. I’m on cloud nine. We’re walking out of the ultrasound area together with our printed strip of photos in hand. You can clearly see the baby’s face, hands, and feet. It’s so amazing to me that the baby in this picture is inside Paige’s body right now.

We walk arm in arm to the elevator bay and travel down to another floor. Because of Paige’s upbringing, she is a risk for pre and post natal depression, so it was recommended that she see a counsellor throughout her pregnancy and the early months after the birth. She booked her session to start shortly after the ultrasound, so we’re heading to the waiting area for that. After she is called in, I have plenty of time to sit and think while I wait for her.

A week ago, I was in Australia, pining away for Paige and praying that she’ll still be in love with me and this week – I have everything I wanted and more. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father. I didn’t think I was ready for kids, but with Paige – I want everything.

I’m so glad that she’s getting counselling now. I'm not so glad that her mother is in her life – I harbour more than a bit of resentment towards her over the way she treated Paige but if Paige wants to have a relationship with her, then I’m supportive of that - especially considering they are all in counselling together. It gives me great hope that everything is going to work out for us.





Chapter 35


Paige


“Elliot,” I whisper, rocking him by the shoulder to wake him, “Elliot; it's time.”

Lifting his sleep laden head from the pillow, he looks over at the clock on the bedside table and scrunches up his face, “No it’s not, I’ve got hours before I have to be at work,” he complains, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes again. I watch him as he runs his hands over the top of his head, over the short clipped hair that I cut only yesterday.

Suddenly, his eyes pop open, and he sits bolt upright in bed, “Wait! What?! It’s time? It’s time time?” he rambles, throwing the quilt off him and jumping out of bed. He places his hands on either side of my enormous belly and looks at me intently, “Are you sure?”

“My waters broke and I’m having contractions. I've called the hospital, and they’re expecting us.”

“Oh my god! This is really happening isn’t it?” he says, freaking out a little as he pulls on the pants and shirt I’m holding out to him. “Why are you so calm?” he asks me.

“I’m not calm Elliot. I'm about to have a giant baby come out of my vagina. I’m about as far from calm as I can be right now,” I answer tonelessly. I actually think I’m in shock a little.





Elliot


I carry Paige’s bag and hold her hand as we walk carefully down the two flights of stairs to get to the car. A contraction hits her when we’re only a few steps away, I have no idea what to do right now except rub her back and talk softly to her until the pain ebbs away, and her face softens again.

“Ok?” I ask, checking that she’s fine to continue to the car. She nods quickly and I guide her to the passenger side, dropping her bag on the back seat before getting in and driving us to the hospital.

She has another contraction on the way to the hospital, and I ask if she wants me to pull over but she shakes her head no, so I keep going, my heart beating in my chest so hard that it’s echoing out through my ears.





Paige


Wave after wave of contractions are taking over my body as I’m ushered into the delivery suite. The midwife informs me that the doctor should be in shortly to check on my progress, but she wants to check me over first to make sure everything is fine.

She presses her hands over my stomach, trying to feel which way the baby is lying.

“Are you getting a lot of back pain?” she asks me.

I nod, “Yes, it feels like my contraction pain is radiating out of my spine,” I tell her grimacing as I feel the start of another one.

“The baby’s posterior,” she starts.

“What? What does that even mean?” Elliot interrupts to ask, worry etched in his face.

“Everything’s fine, it just means her pain is more concentrated. I’d offer you something for the pain Paige, but I don’t think we’ll have time – you’re already grunting so the baby is probably coming soon ok?”

I nod my head quickly, trying desperately to breathe through the pain that is overwhelming my body right now. I roll onto my knees trying to ease the pain in my back and start crying.

Elliot, rubs my back and coos at me softly, telling me I’m doing great. “It just hurts so much Elliot, where are the endorphins your body is supposed to produce? The books said there’d be endorphins to take the pain away!” I cry as a contraction starts again, “Oh God!” I call out as my body bears down of its own accord.

“Breathe Paige, breathe as you push, we’re not far now,” the midwife coaches me.

Panting I try to catch my breath before another contraction comes, I can’t believe how fast this is all happening.

“She’s pushing?! Shouldn’t she be on her back or something? She can’t give birth on all fours can she?” Elliot asks the midwife frantically.

“It’s fine, dad, just let nature take its course,” she soothes him. “Now Paige, when the baby’s head is just about out, you will feel a burn. I want you to try not to push when that's happening, give your body time to stretch, so you don’t tear ok?”

I nod my head, feeling like I'm a torture recipient – I’m so angry at nature right now, why does this have to hurt so much!?





Elliot


My eyes grow wide as Paige bears down, and I see the baby’s head crowning, “Oh my god Paige! I can see the baby! You’re doing it!”

She screams out loudly, and I’m torn between rushing back to hold her hand and watching our baby as it emerges from her body and into the world. I settle for resting my hand on her back and cheering her on so I can still see.

“Try not to push Paige, the baby’s coming out quickly, breathe through the burn,” the midwife coaches, preparing herself for the birth of our child.

“I can’t stop pushing!” yells Paige, grunting and yelling as she bears down again, and I witness our baby’s head pop out of her, closely following by its body.

I can hardly breathe, watching that little scrunched up face as it gurgles out a loud cry that seems to reverberate around the room. “It’s a girl Paige, we made a baby girl!”

I help her roll over so the midwife can place the baby on her stomach. “Oh Elliot!” she breathes, “She’s beautiful, look at our daughter!” I touch the face of our screaming little bundle and kiss Paige happily.