A Beautiful Forever(20)
Lying back down together on the single bed, we wrapped ourselves around each other, absorbed in a passion that would keep us joined for the rest of the night.
Chapter 15
Elliot
Shane was good enough to let us use his car for the day, so I can drive Paige out to Cambridge to meet her father. I’m still kind of in shock that Paige’s parents would do something so horrible to her. I mean, she was just a kid – she didn’t ask her mother to have an affair, why punish her for the actions of the adults around her?
“Are you ok?” she asks, her hand resting on my leg as I drive.
I glance at her momentarily, nodding to show her I’m fine, before turning back to the road and my thoughts.
“So, does this guy – your father; know you’re coming?” I ask eventually.
“Yeah he does. I actually contacted him yesterday, and I spoke to him before I left Australia, so he knows who I am and he’s willing to meet me. But I’ve been too scared to do anything about it until now. I mean, what if he’s awful? What if he doesn’t want anything to do with me beyond just meeting me?” She shakes her head and slides her hands over her face and through her hair, sighing heavily as she drops them in her lap.
Resting her head back into the seat she sits and watches me as I drive, her stress and worry radiating off her. I reach over and grab her hand again and give it a reassuring squeeze, lending her as much of my own strength as I can, although I have to admit that I feel nervous about this too.
“Thank you Paige,” I tell her, suddenly.
“Thank you for what?” she asks sounding surprised.
“For trusting me with your story. For wanting me to come today.”
“Oh… ok,” she says, her voice small as she looks out the window at the passing scenery. I leave our hands connected to comfort her as we drive in silence, listening to the ‘Jebediah’ disc that is the only music Shane’s car plays since the CD player got jammed a few weeks ago.
“It’s kind of pretty, isn’t it?” she asks as we enter the town her father lives in, she’s focused on the world outside as it flits past us, so I don’t think she’s expecting an answer, instead I check the read out on the GPS. It says that we’re only ten minutes away from his home address.
“So um, what’s his name?” I ask as we pull up outside his house, it’s a two-storey, light brown brick home, with a chimney on top of a charcoal tiled roof. It has a large brick driveway leading to a single garage. A path flows from there to the house where there’s a bay window and a navy blue front door with white edging.
“Daniel Ashdown,” she tells me, her voice vacant as she sits, staring toward the house. I can feel her nerves in the pit of my own stomach and reach over to take her hand. After a while, she hasn’t made any attempt to move. I watch her quietly as she continues to look at the house, her eyes wide and fearful. Suddenly, her breath catches and she speaks. “Drive away Elliot, I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Paige… Paige, look at me.” I wait until she drags her eyes from the house and fixes them on my face. Reaching out, I hold her face in my hands, moving my thumbs against her cheeks in an attempt to calm her. “You are probably one of the strongest people I have ever met. I know you can do this. Not many people could go through what you have and still come out the other side of it as a functioning human being. Meeting your father is going to be easy in comparison.”
“How do you know that I did?”
“Become a functioning human being?” I ask, watching her head as she attempts to nod in response. “Because I know you in my heart Paige.”
Paige
Oh god, my heart has swelled to bursting point upon hearing that, and I have to force myself not to turn into a blubbering mess in his hands. I don’t think I've ever had a man be this kind to me. It aches inside and I can’t decide if the feeling is good or bad – it just aches.
As I look into his eyes, I feel absorbed by him and wish with all my heart that he knew every single part of me and still wanted me in the end. He only knows the beginning of my story. He has no idea what came after.
The ache inside me intensifies, and I feel like I need to confess everything. I open my mouth, wanting to tell him, but movement outside the car draws my attention away from his beautiful face.
A man, with short dark hair, sprinkled with greys, and eyes a duller version of my own is peering into the car. Elliot turns to where I'm looking and clicks the button to lower his window.
“Are you Paige?” he says in a voice I recognise from our brief phone calls. I’m speechless at the sight of him, my nerves boiling up and rolling around in turmoil through my stomach, and can do little more than nod my head. “Well then, come in. We’ve been expecting you.”
I look briefly at Elliot, whose face is etched with concern for me, and get out of the car. In this moment, I feel like I’m apart from myself, drifting along behind the man who is my biological father. Elliot’s arm comes around me, and I suddenly feel grounded and so grateful that he accompanied me. I feel a strength around him that no matter how hard I try; I just don’t have on my own.
Daniel – my father – leads us inside his home, taking our coats and hanging them up on a stand in his entry way.
“I’m Daniel, by the way,” he says, holding his hand out to Elliot, who quickly takes it in greeting.
“Sorry mate, I’m Elliot – I’m here for Paige,” he states simply.
“Of course you are. I trust you had pleasant drive?” Daniel enquires politely.
“We did, thank you,” Elliot answers for us both. I’m still yet to find my voice.
Silence descends on us for a moment as we all stand in the entryway looking at each other, feeling unsure what to say.
“Paige,” Daniel says turning towards me and taking my hands in his. I panic slightly when he touches me and flick my eyes to Elliot, who is watching calmly. He gives me a look that tells me it’s ok, and I take comfort from that, letting out my breath and focusing once again on Daniel. “This is a wonderful day for me, finally meeting you. I had hoped you would eventually track me down. Come, we have much to talk about and there is someone else waiting to see you.”
“Really? Who?” I ask, imagining that I may have another relative in the UK, perhaps I have half siblings, an uncle, an aunt?
Daniel beckons for us to follow leading us further inside, the light touch of Elliot’s hand on the small of my back keeping me strong as I move along the hall to pass through the set of double doors where Daniel is waiting.
Just inside the doorway I freeze as my eyes land on a woman, so much older and smaller than I remember. Shock and disbelief take over as my eyes widen, watching as she rises from the couch to greet us.
Elliot
Paige’s body stiffens by my side. I don’t know what’s just happened but there’s a woman here that she doesn’t look comfortable seeing.
“Paige,” the woman says, sorrow is written all over her face and comes out in the sound of her voice.
“Take me home, Elliot, please take me home.” Paige’s face turns towards me, looking grief stricken as she grabs at my arm and tries to pull me to the door.
“What’s going on?” I ask worried; I want to give her what she’s asking for, but I know what it took her to come here. I don’t want her to leave without getting any answers.
“Please Paige, stay,” the woman implores her, “I just want to talk, nothing more.”
Paige stands unmoving, still turned towards me, gripping at my arm. Her eyes are closed and her voice waivers, her body quivering against me as she speaks, “Why are you here?”
“Because I live here Paige. I divorced your father, not long after I… after you left, and I came back here,” the woman, who I’m now guessing is Paige’s mother says.
Paige starts shaking her head frantically. Her eyes closed tightly as if she is trying to force her feelings out of her head. I circle my arms firmly around her, trying to give her as much strength as I can.
“I felt so guilty Paige, for what I did. I tried Paige, I tried to find you. But no one knew where you were, you just disappeared.” Her mother’s tone is low as she approaches us.
Paige’s body suddenly snaps to life as she turns to face her mother. “I had nowhere to go, mother! Nowhere! You have no idea what I went through, what you forced me to become! I will never forgive you for what you did! Never!” she’s yelling, her body shaking and her face bright red with anger. I touch my hand to her shoulder and she spins back into me, throwing her body against mine.
I can feel her trembling as she buries her face in my chest and tries to breathe. Her mother looks at me beseechingly, but I shake my head, “You could have told her you were here. You didn’t have to ambush her like that,” I tell her as calmly as I can.