Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)(56)

There is something so intimate about being in a man’s bedroom. Probably because there’s really only one reason why you would be…

I cleared my throat. “Don’t you have a plant room?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. Come on.”

He pushed off the doorway and took me across the hall. When he opened the door, I sucked in a shock of air.

It was beautiful.

There must have been a hundred potted plants in there.

It was a sunroom with an antique desk pushed against a window overlooking the wooded yard. He had creeping vines, plump succulents, wide-leafed plants, and hanging baskets of ferns. A small fountain trickled in the corner. It was a little humid and it smelled earthy.

This place was a secret enchanted garden.

But then his whole life was, I realized.

This was his private world and almost nobody had access to it. It was by invite only, designed to be small and hidden away and only for him. I felt privileged to be here.

There was a large glass jar sitting on a wooden stand in the corner. It had several plants inside. The top was corked. “What’s that?”

“It’s a terrarium,” he said from behind me.

“How do you water it?”

“You don’t. It’s a self-sustaining ecosystem. It waters itself.”

“Huh. Cool. My kind of plant.”

I turned to look at him. “You have a very beautiful life, Jacob.”

Something that I couldn’t read moved across his face. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

I nodded at the desk. “Is this where you write to me?”

He slipped his hands in his pockets. “Yes.”

I smiled. I liked the idea that his words were born here, in this magical room. It was so him.

Jacob knew who he was. He felt so fully formed. Grown-up.

His life was made up of hundreds of thousands of tiny choices, each thing in it selected by him and only him, so it was exactly what he wanted.

Imagine being the woman he picked to join him here. Having a gentle man like this one choose you to be a part of his private, insular world. To be as special as each thing he carefully surrounded himself with. How lucky that woman would be. And I wondered how Amy couldn’t have felt that way. How she could have had the love of a man like this one and not wanted it.

I smiled softly around the room.

I liked that Jacob knew what he liked. He knew what he needed and he built a life around him that reflected that.

I’d done that once. I’d built a life.

Picked out furniture and framed photos and put vacation souvenirs on shelves. And then the man I’d done it with gave it to someone else. And now I lived in the shattered and fading remnants of my childhood instead. I lived with peeling linoleum and shag carpet and ugly furniture I hated.

I wanted to be this whole again. I would. As soon as Benny was healthy again, I’d move on. Move out. Find a place to make like this one. Be like Jacob.

Be like the old me.

I sniffed and turned to him. “This room reminds me of something my mom always used to say.”

“What?”

“Un hombre que puede mantener viva una planta tiene la paciencia de aguantar tus mierdas. It means ‘A man who can keep a plant alive has the patience to put up with your shit.’”

He smiled.

“I’ve never heard you speak Spanish,” he said. “It’s very beautiful.”

I don’t know why, but this made my cheeks heat a little. Maybe because the way he looked at me when he said it felt like he was telling me I was beautiful. And I liked that very much. Because, looking around this house, Jacob knew beautiful when he saw it.

He looked at his watch. “We should probably get going.” But he didn’t move from the door.

The fun part of the evening was over. We were moving on to stage two, the main event. Three solid hours of socializing.

And Amy.

He was nervous. And probably a little heartsick. Having to watch his ex celebrate her engagement to his brother while everyone looked on to see if he’d die of a broken heart wasn’t going to be easy.

“Do you need a hug?” I asked.

He drew his brows down. “What?”

“You look like you need a hug. Can I hug you?”

We usually didn’t touch unless it was part of the ruse, smoke and mirrors for an audience. But nobody was here to see this, and I honestly didn’t know if he’d even let me.

He gave me one of his quiet pauses. And then he nodded. “Yes.”

I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him. “I am here for you,” I whispered. “We’ll get through this together and everything will be okay.”

He responded by hugging me back. He tucked my head under his chin, and I felt his hands draw me closer. A warm, firm cage that I didn’t want out of. And he must not have wanted out either because that tiny hourglass of appropriate hug time between family and friends ran out and we just…stayed.

And I let myself melt into it.

He was solid. Strong. But also soft somehow, like you could crash into him and not get hurt. The pulse of his neck beat against my cheek. The scent of his skin so near teased me and something warm tingled inside of me at the feel of his body held to mine.

All I could think about was how close his bedroom was. How all I had on under this dress was a thin G-string and an easily removed strapless bra.