Written with Regret (The Regret Duet #1)(68)

Me: Will do. Night, Caven.



Beth text again, just as Caven’s last message popped up.



Caven: Sweet Dreams.



Beth: Okay! That’s it SEAL Team Sex is on the way.



Grinning like a maniac, I clicked on the notification and typed out a message to Beth.



Me: Calm your tits. Caven was texting me.

Me: For your impatient information, tonight went amazing. Like amazing, amazing. Rosalee was adorable as usual. But Caven… Oh my God, that man does it for me so hard. Screw your eight seconds. If he ever kisses me, I’m not coming up for air. Possibly ever.



Those three little dots bounced at the bottom, but I was done with her lectures about keeping my distance from Caven.



Me: OMG, stop typing and just listen! I know all the reasons this is a bad idea, but you don’t understand what it feels like when he touches me. Or looks at me. Or…seriously, he walks into the damn room and my whole body goes on high alert. And it’s not just because he’s gorgeous. He’s sweet and thoughtful too. He found out it was my birthday tonight and ordered me a brownie with ranch. I mean, what guy does that?

Me: Don’t say a gross one! It was ridiculously sweet. And he told me I was part of his family. I mean, sure, it was in a roundabout way. But he said it. And it was like he knew how badly I needed to feel that again.

Me: And he’s so funny. Even when he isn’t trying. When was the last time a man made you laugh, Beth? Like truly laugh? God, I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I’m sinking in quicksand while tiptoeing around him, when all I really want to do is crawl into his lap and never leave.

Me: You were so damn wrong the other night. I should have kissed him in that bathroom. I swore to my entire family that I’d live my life in the seconds. I’m not letting another one pass me by.



I was typing another message listing all the things I should have done to Caven over the last few months when another text notification dropped down from the top of my screen.



Beth: Fine. Don’t tell me about your night. I didn’t care anyway. Just kidding… Text me all the details by the morning or I’m kicking down your door. Nighty night.



My.

Heart.

Stopped.

I read and reread her message over and over again, toxic dread settling in my stomach. If Beth’s text was showing up as a notification, who the hell had I just spilled my guts to?

But I knew the answer. I just really didn’t want to know the fucking answer.

Nerves and embarrassment roared inside me, dueling like the winds of a hurricane.

With a heavy weight in my chest, I ever-so-slowly pushed up on the notification to reveal the name beneath it.

Caven.

Oh, fuckity fuck.

Caven.

My mind went into irrational panic mode. Well, not that the panic was irrational. That was very, very rational after I’d just accidentally poured my heart out to the man I was lusting after. But ideas my brain was throwing off to fix this fiasco were completely and utterly irrational.

Things like: Maybe he hadn’t read it.

Then I remembered the bouncing text bubbles when he’d started to reply, more than likely to tell me I’d texted the wrong person. Ya know, like a decent human being. But I’d told him to stop typing and just listen.

Then I considered that maybe he’d rolled over on his phone, which had caused the text bubbles, when in actuality he was already asleep. Thus giving me time to sneak over to his house, find his phone, delete the texts, and then give it back.

Then I remembered the cameras.

Finally, my brain landed on the most irrational but somewhat believable excuse of all.



Me: Shit. Sorry. That was meant for Beth. I was telling her about this other guy I know named Caven. Weird, right? Who knew it was such a common name?



With my stomach in knots, I paced a path in my living room, watching the bottom of that text for over five minutes, but the bubble never appeared. So I decided to give it another shot because that was clearly a great idea.



Me: You didn’t think I was talking about you, did you? HA! That would be crazy.



I stared holes in that phone for another solid five minutes with no response. Dammit. He knew I was lying. Real shocker there.



Me: Okay, look. I’m mortified. What will it take for you to forget this ever happened?



I sank onto my couch and put my elbows to my knees. This couldn’t be happening. Not something so stupid and preventable. But no. I hadn’t sent Caven one accidental text that could be brushed off or explained away. I’d sent him the text version of an autobiography. Outlining in great detail all the bullshit that had been swirling in my head over the last few months.

I had no idea how he was going to react to finding out I had feelings for him. Based on the way he looked at me, I was sure he was harboring a few feelings of his own. But admitting it out loud and not in the middle of a lust-filled stare-off was a lot like accepting it. Three months ago, Caven had thought I was Hadley the Terrible. We’d come a long way, but now, I was expecting him to be able to look me in the eye every Wednesday and Saturday knowing If he ever kisses me, I’m not coming up for air. Possibly ever.

I could handle the rejection.

Hell, I was expecting the rejection.