Written with Regret (The Regret Duet #1)(26)

I cleared my throat and continued. “Anyway. I’m trying not to get my hopes up because I know it’s going to be a long road. But, God, I want to be a part of her life. There’s so much I want to give her, so much I want to teach her.” Emotion once again clogged my throat. “But most of all, I just want her to have a mom. It was so hard growing up without you. No offense, Grandpa,” I half laughed as I looked down the line of graves. “I don’t want her to struggle any more than she already has. I think that’s what I’m most worried about. What if I’m only hurting her more? She seems to have a good life with him. What if she doesn’t need me?”

Clear as the night sky, I heard my mother’s voice in my head replying, “But what if she does?”

I didn’t believe in ghosts or messages from beyond the grave. I knew exactly where that message had come from and why I’d heard it so clearly. It was the same advice she’d given me when I was six after I’d told her I wanted to ask Shelby Wright to be my best friend. My father had recorded the conversation on his new camcorder. It was one of the few exceptions he’d made for technology in our home. After they died, I’d watched that video every night for years, torturing myself with the memories. And in it, as a scared little six-year-old peered up at her mother, asking what if Shelby didn’t want to be her best friend, my mother tucked a stray hair behind my ear and then simply replied, “But what if she does?”

And that was it. At six and again now at twenty-seven, it was still the right advice.

If Rosalee needed me, nothing was going to stop me from being there for her.

“I’m going to make this right,” I told them—all of them—before repeating it to myself. “I can make this right.”

I kissed my fingers, touching them to each of their names, allowing it to linger on Willow for several seconds longer than the others. Our relationship had deteriorated so rapidly over the last few years that it felt like it had been ages since we’d last spoken without yelling. But knowing that someone was gone forever—not just an apology and a phone call away—made the longing unbearable.

I missed her.

I would always miss her.

“I love you,” I whispered before heading back to Beth.

I knew what I had to do, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

I just had to take it one very manageable second at a time.

And those seconds all started with Caven Hunt.

My heart was in my throat as I slid into Beth’s car, but resolution now ran through my veins. “I need a favor.”





CAVEN


The lights were dim, only a single lamp on my side of the bed illuminating my bedroom. I’d been sitting there for over an hour while Rosalee slept beside me. My bed was a king, but for as close as she slept tucked into my side, we could have shared a twin. I’d alternated between staring off into space, mentally replaying the day, and scrolling to the point of obsession through the pictures I’d taken of Hadley on my phone.

It was crazy.

After all those years of wondering where she’d gone.

All those years of trying to forget her completely.

All those years of pretending she’d never existed.

There she was, Hadley Banks, in photos on my phone. I’d zoomed in and out over and over like I was a detective searching for clues. Only the mystery of where Hadley had been and why she had come back couldn’t be solved in a few blurry snapshots.

Doug had promised me before he’d left that he’d do everything he could to prevent Hadley from getting to Rosalee. But deep down, I knew if she fought the issue of being involved in my daughter’s life, there was nothing I could do to stop her. The idea was eating away at my soul.

Sure, I could fight her. No judge worth his salt was going to turn Rosalee over to a woman she didn’t know. After all, I was the one who had raised her.

The one who had kissed every boo-boo.

The one who had held her for two days straight, never putting her down, when she got the stomach flu.

The one she called out for when she was scared. Or happy. Or sad.

I was her parent—her only parent.

But I didn’t need a law degree to know that the courts always favored the mothers.

If Hadley stuck around long enough, there would be a judge who viewed me as just her dad—a second-rate citizen in parenthood.

Hadley had never contributed anything other than a womb to my daughter’s life and she already had the upper hand because she was her mother—a position that should be earned and not appointed.

Unless I could stop Hadley before she ever got started, one day in the not-so-distant future, I was going to lose my little girl. I could feel it in my gut and it fucking scared the hell out of me.

In my thirty-three years, I’d survived a hell most couldn’t dream about. But losing her? I wouldn’t survive that.

I was in the process of zooming in on another picture when a text banner dropped from the top of my screen.



Unknown: Hey, it’s Hadley. Is there any chance I could convince you to have a conversation with me without all the cops and lawyers?



My jaw slacked open as a surge of adrenaline ignited my tired body. For four fucking years, she’d been a ghost and then, out of the blue, she showed up at my house and now she was texting me like we were old friends? How the hell did she even get my number?