Woman on the Edge(36)

Ben’s face is ashen. “What does all this mean?”

“I don’t know. I still have no idea how she knew me, but we’ll find out, Ben. And we have to figure out if Donna is somehow responsible. Or someone else.” I dig at the rash on my collarbone. “I just want this to end.”

Ben looks at me, and I see his struggle to believe me.

He helps me out of the pantry. My ankle is killing me, and my head is whirling. I can’t make sense of any of this.

We go to the vibrating chair where Quinn is sleeping.

“I don’t know what I feel. Confused. Definitely confused and really awful. I’m trying to believe everything you told me, but right now, I just can’t believe any of this has happened. That my sister is really gone. I never told her how amazed I was by what she did with Breathe, how she pieced her life together again after such a terrible thing happened. I never helped my little sister.” His eyes film, but tears don’t fall. He looks away from me, as though he doesn’t want me to witness any more of his pain.

I always longed for a sibling. It’s a shame Ben and Nicole never had a chance to make amends. If Nicole had really known the adult Ben, the doctor, the caring man he seems to be, maybe she would have entrusted Quinn to him. Maybe she would have felt safer about sharing her concerns with him. Or maybe she knew something about her brother that I don’t.

We stand awkwardly for a moment. I glance at Quinn, fast asleep. Her eyes flutter. Do babies this young dream? If they do, I hope hers are sweet.

It’s then I hear the front door open. Ben pushes his hair from his face, a gesture I’m learning is his nervous tic.

Heels clack along the marble floor until they stop. I turn around.

It’s Martinez.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN NICOLE




Before

Ben was standing on her stoop. Nicole watched his eyes widen as he took in the sight of her. In one hand, he held a white paper bag; in the other, a small brown teddy bear.

“What are you doing here?”

Ben looked at her strangely. “You asked me to come.”

She gaped at him. “No, I didn’t.”

Nicole was surprised by the crow’s-feet at the corners of his eyes and the sharp edges of his jaw. They were so much like their father’s, it was like going back in time. She hadn’t seen her brother in more than a year, since he’d bought his house and invited her for a tour. She’d gone, but she usually put off his attempts at reconciliation. He was always a reminder of her past.

“You texted me last night.” He pulled his phone from the pocket of his scrubs. “Look.”

Nicole viewed the screen. It was true. There was a message from her.

Could you pick up my prescription refill and bring it over tomorrow? I’m in a bind.



Nicole couldn’t speak. She would never have asked her brother to do anything for her. She had enough pills to last two more weeks, and she’d certainly never invite him over. Ben walked inside, the legs of his scrubs making an irritating swishing sound as he closed the door behind him. “You don’t look so good.”

She bristled and ignored him, taking Quinn to the living room. She dropped the pharmacy bag on the table and picked up her phone, opened her text messages. There it was: a text from her to Ben, sent at 11:00 p.m. the night before. A text she had no memory of writing.

She slid her phone into her pocket and turned to look at her brother. She had to keep it together for long enough to let him visit, then she’d get him out of her life for good.

“Can I get you something? Coffee?” Her head spun, but she could manage an espresso.

“Sure. Thanks. Can I … ? I’d like to hold Quinn.”

Nicole didn’t want Quinn anywhere near her brother. He’d failed at protecting her, so how would he protect Quinn?

“She doesn’t like to be away from me,” Nicole said. She turned and walked toward the kitchen, where she’d make Ben a coffee and take another pill.

Except there were no coffee beans in the kitchen, not even a jar of instant coffee. She couldn’t remember when she or Tessa had last ordered groceries. The fridge was bare, save for a carton of orange juice, a bruised apple, and a couple of shriveled peaches.

She tapped out a pill, then squinted at the bottle. It was half-empty. How could she not have noticed that before? And how many pills had she taken the night before? Enough to text Ben and forget about it?

Her phone rang. She took it out of her pocket. Tessa. Thank God.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Is Quinn asleep?”

“Ben is here.”

“Ben as in your brother? Wow. What’s he doing there?”

“He brought me a prescription refill. …” She stopped herself from saying more. “He wanted to meet Quinn.”

“Well, that’s kind of nice, I guess. You okay with it?”

“Not really.”

“So tell him to leave. Do you want me to come as backup?”

Nicole laughed. “I’m fine. I’d better go.”

“Okay, but I just wanted to give you the heads-up. I told Lucinda you approved the final designs for the cuffed trench coat line for spring. I hope that’s fine. I can come over tonight to talk about all this.”

She hadn’t told Tessa she’d run into Lucinda. She didn’t have time now. She had to deal with Ben, get him out of her house as quickly as possible.