Woman on the Edge(17)
I sit up straighter. “This is great news, right? It’s proof that she handed that baby over to me just like I said.”
Jessica doesn’t answer. Fear zips up my rib cage. She flicks on the car light, then loads up the video and turns her phone toward me so we can both see the screen. I prepare myself to watch Nicole jump. But I am not prepared at all for what it is I see.
The footage is grainy, but I recognize the subway platform. A blond boy of about seven is grinning at the camera, a baseball glove clutched in his raised hand. In the far-right corner of the screen I see Nicole, and I can see myself, too. Nicole is heading straight for me, her blue bag over her shoulder, daughter clamped against her. I’m a figure in white, frozen in bewilderment, my purse dangling from my shoulder.
Nicole presses close to me, too close to the platform’s edge. We’re side by side. Her left hand moves to my hip. Is that when she slipped the note onto my purse?
It’s amazing what you can get caught doing when you think no one is watching.
Is this what Martinez meant? Did she know about the video when she questioned me at the station?
Nicole steps in front of me, her back to the tracks. There’s a moment when my figure is partially covered by hers. She takes a small step back and I’m visible again, holding the baby. I know I didn’t grab for the child, but our arms move at almost the same time and it’s hard to see exactly what happened. To anyone else, it might seem like I did take that child. On the screen, I look down at Quinn in my arms and Nicole retreats another step, right to the lip of the platform. Some commuters walk in front of the camera, obscuring us both for a moment before we appear again. Nicole looks startled and then her arms are flailing in the air, but I’m eclipsed by people. She falls backward off the platform and off the edge of the video screen. The train barrels into the station.
Watching her fall is like a punch to my stomach. The video comes to an end, and Jessica takes a sharp breath. I shake my head so hard and fast that blood rushes painfully through my skull.
“No, no, no. That video, it’s not showing what really happened! She gave me her baby, but you can’t see that part. And I didn’t push her. I swear I didn’t push her. There were so many people. There must be a witness who saw what really happened.” I grab the door handle, wanting more than anything to get out of this confined space. To escape the horror Nicole Markham has put me in.
Jessica puts her phone on her lap. “So you see now why Martinez was grilling you? It’s not clear how Nicole went over. She moves away from you. Not far enough that you couldn’t reach her, but enough for me to possibly use this as exculpatory evidence that she jumped. But, Morgan, none of this explains why she knew your name, and that’s not good.”
I can’t breathe. Watching this has made me so scared. Even my own mother thinks I’m guilty of helping Ryan bilk innocent victims out of their savings. So why wouldn’t total strangers think I pushed a woman to her death?
Jessica observes me. “Is there anything you’re not telling me? I need to know everything so I can help you.”
“Nothing. I didn’t know her at all.” I press a hand over my eyes, wishing this were all a nightmare.
But it’s not, and I have to deal with it. I remember the baby. I can’t forget Nicole’s eyes, drilling into mine. This was a mother who was desperate to protect her child. And from what? What if the person who has her baby is the person Nicole was so afraid of? “I need to know where Quinn is.”
Jessica scratches the bridge of her nose. “No, you don’t. If you insist that you don’t know Nicole, then her baby can’t matter that much to you, right?” She puts her hand on my arm. “All you need to do is help me build a defense, because I think you’re going to need it. You have no motive to want the CEO of Breathe dead. But think. Are you sure you’ve never met Nicole? There has to be some reason she approached you.”
I wish the answer were that easy. I wish I knew the answer.
My heart thunders. “Jessica, if I really am tied up in this thing, or if Ryan is, what kind of danger could I be in?” The back of the building is pitch-black. Jessica has turned off the car, turned off the lights. I can barely see the door from here. Anyone could hide behind the dumpster and not be seen. They might be ready to jump out at us the second we leave the car.
Jessica purses her lips. “Let’s just say you should be extra vigilant until we figure things out. In the meantime, I’ll start investigating Nicole’s background and any link she might have to you.”
A thought occurs to me. “Jessica …”
“What?”
“Do you think this Nicole woman somehow knew how much I want a baby?”
Jessica looks at me like I’m either crazy or dangerous, or both.
“I don’t know,” she says, her voice flat and cold.
But the truth is Nicole did know how badly I want a baby. I could see that in her eyes.
I know what you want. Don’t let anyone hurt her.
And no matter how much I lie to myself now, saying that I’ll never have a child after everything that happened with Ryan, the truth is, I think about it every time I see a mother with a baby. I feel a stab of envy right in my soul. I think about it every time I hear the giggles and splashes of children at Foster Beach, close to my home. I think about it every time I go to bed and wake up all alone.