Within These Wicked Walls(73)

“I can’t go through it again,” he said, cringing with each breath. “Please don’t ask me to.”

She nodded, tears welling up. But she didn’t linger. She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

“I don’t think he can get up,” I protested as she led me up the stairs. If I left him out there alone, he might leave, and my plan would be ruined—or, at least, delayed. He’d need a few minutes to catch his breath, though, which gave me a few minutes to figure out how to convince him to stay. If all else failed, Saba could just drag him inside.

Normally Magnus would be up and about, no memory of what he’d done the night before. But as soon as we made it up the stairs, I knew something was wrong. Saba led me to the end of the hall. To the closet where we’d trapped the hyena. I didn’t have to ask. I couldn’t bear to, anyway. It was clear Magnus was still in there. That he’d never left.

As soon as I touched the doorknob, Magnus’s weak voice said from behind the door, “Go away, Saba.”

Immediately, she stepped back, new tears wetting her cheeks. I glared at the door. I would make sure this was the last day the Evil Eye would ever command her again.

“Saba, will you turn away for a second?”

She gave me a skeptical look, but turned her back.

I removed my amulet and placed it carefully on the floor, out of view of the doorway. This was the only moment I had to make eye contact with Magnus. Even if he fought me over it now, it didn’t matter—when he woke up later he’d never remember, and everything could go ahead as planned.

I swung the door wide, steeling my nerves. The house had absorbed the blood, leaving no signs of carnage … except for the few lumps deforming a portion of the wall and floor of the corner, which I’m sure only resembled part of a human thigh, shoulder, and wrist because I knew better.

“Magnus?” I stepped into the closet and knelt in front of him. He was shivering, his teeth chattering a little. But the house had taken the blood on him as well, thank God, the nightmarish image of last night decreased to something only devastatingly sad. “It’s Andromeda. I’m here to help you.”

“I was calling for you,” he said. “But you left me.”

“I-I know.” I didn’t know what else to add, how to justify it. So, all I said was, “I won’t do that again.”

“Why didn’t you just kill me like I asked?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I swallowed and leaned closer, touching his face. “Magnus. Look at me, please.”

His eyes shifted to mine without a word, fully aware of what he’d done, shamed, terrified. But somehow still hopeful, amidst all that.

I pushed sweaty hair from his forehead, kissing his sweet, frightened face. “Will you let Saba carry you? I’m going to help you to bed.”

He didn’t protest, so I went to retrieve my amulet, putting it back on and tucking it under my top to make it seem like it’d been there the entire time. But when I turned, it was obvious Saba had been watching me, her lips sucked in as if to press back tears. I shook my head quickly, and she nodded in return. After a moment she rushed over and pulled me into a hug, her hard body knocking the wind out of me. She leaned her head against mine, and I finally had the sense to return the hug, gripping my wrists around her waist.

She leaned back abruptly and held my face in her cold hands, pressing her lips to my forehead. I broke into a smile like an impulse. This was no time for smiles, but I couldn’t help it. Saba was my friend, but maybe … maybe this is what it felt like to have a mother.

Saba released me and went into the closet and laid a blanket over Magnus before lifting him effortlessly from the ground. I led the way to his room, tripping to a stop in the doorway. Kelela lay in his bed, covered in a blanket except for her arm, which was bandaged and set and resting on a pillow. She snored gently. I hadn’t thought much of her—God forgive me—in all the chaos after she had fallen down the stairs. But now I was in my right mind enough to feel relieved. Her injuries would heal. She would be okay.

It was Magnus I was worried about.

“Let’s not wake her,” I whispered to Saba. “My room is warmer, anyway.”



* * *



Saba heated some water, and we gave Magnus a warm bath. And then she laid him in bed, and went back to the closet to … do whatever she needed to do. Probably move some furniture or rugs to cover up the life lost. It put a tinny taste in my mouth, so I focused on dressing Magnus. He lightly assisted, lifting his arms or legs when I needed him to, but he leaned his head on my shoulder … the only sounds between us his soft crying.

Say something, Andi. Anything. Anything to comfort him, to show him everything would be all right. Instead I just let him cry on me, loving him the only way I was truly good at—taking care of people who were in pain. It was a specific type of love I’d developed because it had been the only way I was allowed to love Jember. And, for me, I’d needed to love someone for my own survival.

It didn’t occur to me until after I was tucking him into my bed that I hadn’t thought twice about him being naked. I barely remembered what it looked like. I guess it was habit, from taking care of Jember my whole life. There was no room for shame when people needed you.

Speaking of Jember … oh God, please. Bathing Magnus had taken longer than I’d anticipated. I hoped Jember had gotten up okay. And I hoped beyond hope that he hadn’t left. I hadn’t heard him ride away, but maybe setting up the bath had blocked it out.