Within These Wicked Walls(39)

Dinner was torture. The food was delicious, of course, but I couldn’t fully enjoy it with half my mind on Magnus. He was so quiet … and sad. I hadn’t seen him since the library, but that was only two hours ago. Two hours ago we’d pledged our hearts to each other, and now … something was wrong.

All I wanted to do was find out what it was, to comfort him, to … to touch him. He was in his regular chair at the head, which put him in just the right position for the two of us to hold hands on the table.

God help me. Could I show that kind of affection in front of others without having it be misunderstood as insolence toward my employer? But his skin was calling to me, and I think he needed the touch as much as I did. Fighting the magnetic pull to be near him was uncomfortable.

Why are you doing this to yourself, Andi?

Beautiful wasn’t a word I’d ever use for Magnus if we were strangers passing on the street, but knowing him was like encountering the beauty of a snake. Feared and misunderstood, through no fault of his own. Slender, almost delicate looking, but with undeniable strength beneath the surface. Frightened, hiding and lashing out in turns. It was a brand of beauty not meant for everyone. He had no charm to speak of and all of it at once, made of unruly hair and awkward pauses and shy smiles.

But that didn’t mean anything. It was irrational. Those weren’t reasons to fall in love with—

“What’s so funny?”

I looked up from my food at Kelela sitting across from me. She had long, golden box braids tonight, decorated with thin golden chains and golden flowers made of beads. I’d been proud of my hair makeover, but she looked stunning. Radiant. The most unwise thing I could do would be to compliment her.

She had a curious expression on her lovely face, but an untrustworthy one, like she intended to use my response to shame me in some way.

“Funny?” I replied, keeping my tone level. “I don’t remember laughing.”

“You were smiling.”

Were you, Andi? “I’m just enjoying the food.”

“Peggy is the best,” Esjay chimed in. “I really need to get her recipes for our personal chef.”

“And I’ll need to learn them too,” Kelela said. “Or at least all of Magnus’s favorites.” She grinned at me. “Good advice for you in the future, Andromeda—the way to keep a husband happy is through his stomach.”

It was a seemingly innocent comment, but the implication twisted my gut.

“You don’t need to learn to cook,” Esjay said, “that’s why you hire someone. Focus on your studies.”

“Yes, brother,” she replied, but I could see the victory in her expression. She knew she’d rattled me.

“Oh, you’re engaged?” I asked, trying to keep my tone just as light despite my slowly tightening throat. “Magnus has never mentioned that.”

“Why would he mention it? Men don’t care about things like weddings, do you, Magnus?”

Magnus made a vague sound, though I couldn’t tell if it was a yes or no.

It felt like a betrayal either way.

“I need a more comfortable chair,” he said, standing abruptly. Kelela was on her feet and at his side in a matter of moments.

Esjay reached out to me before I could stand. “Andromeda, could you stay behind for a moment? I have just a few things to discuss with you about the contract.”

“The stupid contract again, Esjay?” Magnus mumbled. “Hang it. I should just give her everything. What do I need money for anyway?”

“You’re tired, Magnus,” Esjay said quickly. “Kelela, help him to a more comfortable room.”

She didn’t really need to be told—she’d had her arm around his waist, leading him away before Esjay had even finished.

“Why don’t we sing a little?” said Kelela as she helped him into the other room. “I remember seeing a book on your music shelf with a song I really like.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Esjay said, when they were gone. “Peggy said he was fine this morning. Did you happen to notice what changed his mood?”

I shook my head, even more confused than he was.

Esjay sighed. “I wish Kelela wouldn’t keep bringing up the engagement. They are promised to each other, yes, but…” He shook his head. “I just don’t want her to get her hopes up.”

“In case Magnus is never cleansed?” I asked.

“Yes. I don’t doubt your skill, but we’ve been through ten debtera already. There’s always the possibility that no amount of professional help will be enough.”

“I will cleanse this house,” I said.

“I believe you.”

“And yet you won’t let Kelela learn to cook his favorite foods.”

There was a pause, long enough that it felt as if I’d given too much away. As if the word “love” was hovering at the front of my brain again, and he could read it like a sheet of paper.

“I started off as enthused about it as she is,” he said. “But things are different now, and she’s better off with an education that can take her places. That’s a sure thing. Marriage to Magnus isn’t.”

“She seems hell-bent on marrying him, regardless.”

“She’s young, and I indulge her to dream. But she’s going to France soon, to stay with our aunt … and dreams can change by the circumstance.”