Window Shopping(71)

“I don’t want space,” I growl without preamble.

“Me either,” she whispers unevenly. “I don’t want it or need it.”

Another current of relief flows through me. “Thank God,” I rasp into her neck. Her sweet, perfect neck. “Is that robe for me?”

“Of course it is.” She lets me pick her up off the floor and squeeze her tighter, as if I have any choice when she’s just shown up with matching robes. “I wasn’t free to wear one with you. Not yet. I had to fix something first, okay? But I’m here now.” Her arms wrap more securely around my neck. “I’m one hundred percent here and I love you.”

God help me, my heart starts slamming up down and sideways with such a vengeance, I almost lose my balance. The declaration is unexpected. It’s also the best gift I’ve ever received. The only one I’ll ever need. “I love you, too, Stella.” I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, everywhere I can reach until she gives me that incredible laugh again. “You’re home now.” But that’s not quite right, so I amend it. “We’re home now.”

I’m forced to set her down so I can wipe the tears off her face. I perform the task with a sweep of my thumbs. Then, without taking my eyes off her for a single second, I bend down and pick up the robe that had fallen while I hugged her half to death. I put it on, belt it, take her by the hand. We smile at each other on my way to introduce her to Aunt Edna.

It’s our first best Christmas together. First of many over the decades.

And with her, each one is better than the last.





Epilogue





Stella





One Year Later





Fingers digging into the edge of my passenger seat, I turn to study Aiden’s profile. “I’m no longer sure this is a good idea.”

He takes one look at my face, frowns with concern and pulls our rental Jeep over to the side of the road, cutting off the engine. Without the wipers to clear the falling snow, white stuff immediately starts to block our view of the road. A familiar road. The one leading to my parents’ house.

Aiden reaches over, brushing a hand down the back of my hair. “It’s normal to be nervous, Stella. But everything is going to be fine.” He dips his head until he makes eye contact, giving me a lopsided smile. “Miracles happen on Christmas, don’t they? And really, we only need a quarter of a miracle here. We’re just opening the door with your parents. There’s no pressure on either of you to walk through it on the first try.”

Borrowing some calm from my steadfast boyfriend of one year, I take a deep breath and nod. I look out at the curving road, remembering the last time I was on it. My father had just picked me up outside of Bedford Hills and the air was tense. Temporary. He was bringing me home long enough to turn me around and send me in another direction. I understood. And not wanting to deal with their anger and disappointment, I’d remained silent. Distant. Closed off in my old room until it was time to go.

Has that lonely, directionless girl changed so much in a year?

Yeah.

I have.

Last Christmas Eve was the start of Stella Schmidt giving her whole self to life and love. I stayed with Aiden while helping Nicole find employment at a catering company. She lived in my uncle’s place for about two months before he broke up with his current girlfriend and decided to return, so we found Nicole a room to rent in a three-bedroom apartment in Astoria. She shares it with two other girls our age and they’ve become good friends. We still meet for dinner once a month and talk on the phone, but we’re individuals. She has her own life now and I have mine. Our relationship is a lot healthier and stronger because of it.

As far as my living situation…once I moved in with Aiden so Nicole could make use of my uncle’s apartment, I sort of never left.

He made it way too difficult.

For one, he redecorated little by little. Stella touches, he called them. He kept the throwback Mad Men vibe of his apartment, but it slowly became a bachelor and bachelorette pad. His coffee table was replaced by an ornate vintage trunk. He had an accent wall painted a black metallic color. He brought home the retro dress cage from my first Vivant window and positioned it in the corner of our bedroom…and that’s when I realized I’d started calling it our bedroom. Our apartment. He’d bamboozled me. Redecorated without actually mentioning he was making any changes. But one day I looked around and realized what he’d done.

“What are you thinking about?” Aiden asks me now, the pad of his thumb coasting across my bottom lip.

“I’m thinking about home.” I turn my head and kiss his wrist. “Our home in New York.”

His eyes go soft, searching, the way they do when he’s feeling romantic. So pretty much constantly. “What about it, sweetheart?”

I narrow my eyes at him, but I’m smiling. “How you Stella-fied it.”

The muscles shift in his throat. “Once I got you, I couldn’t let you leave.”

My heart starts to chug. “I was never going to leave.”

We reach for the collar of each other’s winter coats at the same time, pulling eagerly, our mouths locking over the center console. I can taste the hot chocolate we drank before entering Pennsylvania on his tongue, as if he needs any additional help being delicious. His big fingers spear into my hair and I unhook my seatbelt with trembling fingers, no idea what I’m intending, only knowing I need to get closer to him. Always closer.