Window Shopping(66)

“Jesus,” I rasp, hauling her up against my chest. “That was a close one.”

“Note to self: stick to knee length,” she breathes, deflating, her cheek coming to a rest on my chest. “Nice save.”

I will my heart to calm back down to its normal rate, whatever the heck normal is for my heart these days, and without thinking, I skim my palm down her hair. Her bare back.

God, I just want to be back in bed drinking coffee with her.

“Had a feeling your ‘in a relationship’ status was more than just a rumor,” Jordyn says, bringing Stella’s head up so fast, it bumps into my chin. “I guess me and Seamus have some competition for top spot as Vivant’s reigning power couple.”

“You and Seamus?” Stella asks—not pulling away from me. In fact, she straightens my pocket square and I forget what year it is. “When did that become official?”

“Any man who would send his boss’s vehicle to the impound lot without setting down his broom deserves a shot.” On her way out of the dressing room, she squints back at us over her shoulder. “You didn’t hear that from me.”

“Hear what?” Stella and I say at the same time.

Alone now, my girlfriend turns her smile up at me, as if that’s going to help my heart slow down from a sprint. “Did Aunt Edna land yet?”

No way I’m taking my eyes off Stella to check the time. I estimate, instead. “She’s got another twenty minutes or so till the wheels touch down.”

“Are you still anxious about it?”

“She gets lost in Kroger’s.”

“Poor Aiden.” She exhales. Goes up on her toes to kiss my chin. “You just want to be everyone’s hero…” she murmurs, playing with the hair at the back of my neck. “…and you’ve got stubborn women coming out of your ears, don’t you?”

Christ. My cock is thickening faster than whisked gravy over a high heat. “I’m not complaining.” She’s got her body pressed to mine, she’s smiling—and I’ve got a great view of her ass in draped, emerald satin. Grievances are not on the agenda. And the sense that a new chapter has started between us is probably why I forget to be patient. “I’ll complain a lot less if you walk into the party with me tonight.”

The light in her eyes flickers.

Dread pitches in my stomach.

“I’ve just barely decided to go to the party, Aiden,” she laughs haltingly, her arms dropping away from their position around my neck. She paces away in silence. “Please, just…try and understand that I went from occupying a tiny corner of space to having this…this giant world spread out in front of me. I have to inch forward, okay? At my own pace.”

She’s right. I keep forgetting how new every single experience is to her. Even the act of trying on a dress or getting a paycheck is unfamiliar. And I’m downstairs looking at rings like an idiot. I wish there was a way to make Stella believe in herself the way I do, but that kind of faith can’t come from me. It’s a process. A process I’m rushing.

And I’m probably going to push her away in the process.

That thought makes my spine feel like ice. I’m going to lose her if I don’t slow the hell down—and I can’t seem to remember to pace myself when she looks at me. My resolve just goes straight out the window and next time? Next time she could just walk. “Yeah, you’ve just blown me away so often, sometimes I forget you’re inching forward,” I manage past my numb lips. Why are my vocal cords aching? Probably because what I need to offer her, to keep her, is going to split me in half. “If you need more…space, Stella. I’ll give you that.”

The glow leaves her face. “What? I…no.” She takes a step forward. “No, that’s not what I meant—”

Her phone rings on the bench. A riotous series of notes.

That’s not her usual ring tone. I’ve been with her when Jordyn called. I’ve called her phone to locate it when she lost it in my apartment. Normally it’s just a light, repetitive chime. This is different. Judging by the way her face drops, it’s not a welcome sound.

“What’s wrong, Stella?” I reach out and cup her bare shoulder, brushing my thumb over the smoothness. “Who is that?”

She looks up at me, then away. Doesn’t answer me.

Instead, she moves out of my reach, snatches up her ringing phone and closes herself in one of the changing rooms. It’s a very scary thing, how fast everything has shifted in the space of one goddamn minute. I can’t get my footing. Or think straight. But I’m pretty sure I just fucked up. Badly. I created a divide between us out of fear of that exact thing. What the hell is wrong with me? And now she’s shut me out in a moment that I sense she could really use someone to talk to. “It’s Nicole, isn’t it? She’s out.”

“I think so. It’s her old number,” she whispers. “I’m afraid to answer.”

“Let me in. We can do it together.”

She laughs without humor—and I don’t blame her. I just got finished offering to give her space when that is the last thing on this earth that I want. Jesus. Does she feel insecure with me now? “Look, Aiden…this is too complicated.”

I watch the green silk pool on the floor of the dressing room. Her hand appears, picking it up and the sound of a hanger clangs against the wall. I’m experiencing all of it in fast motion. Everything is getting away from me. Moving too fast for me to fix.