What Lurks Between the Fates (Of Flesh & Bone, #3)(99)

We both knew I’d defied her in small ways, challenged her verbally without ever crossing the line. But for the Queen of Air and Darkness to have not retaliated against me physically, who was bearing the cost of those moments?

“Your mate is not one to sit idly by while you suffer. He cannot save you from Mab’s violence, not when she can kill him with only a thought. That does not mean he has not spent the entirety of your time in Tar Mesa negotiating for the end of your suffering,” Rheaghan said, sweeping the rug out from under me.

I stumbled our dance. He caught me, making the misstep look intentional. “What… what did he offer her?” I asked. My breath shuddered. My ears rang, nearly drowning out the sound of Rheaghan’s words.

“Estrella—” Rheaghan started, interrupting me as my anger—my horror—rose.

What had Caldris done?

The male was insufferable, incapable of listening to what I might want. My throat felt too dry, my words caught on the lump in my throat.

Rheaghan pulled me closer, plastering my chest against his torso as he held me tight enough to suffocate. It was a makeshift hug, soothing as his free hand trailed up my spine in a light, comforting touch.

“What. Did. He. Give. Her?” I demanded, slowly enunciating the words as I ground my jaw.

The joy of the music had left me, the movements feeling suddenly hollow. That creature inside me rose, and I felt her dance behind my eyes as I stared up at Rheaghan. A flash of gold flitted across his skin as he pinched lips together and sighed out his nose.

The God of the Sun hesitated as his chest dropped. “He took your place. For every defiance, he is summoned to Mab’s rooms so that she and Malazan might use him to punish you.”

Nausea churned in my gut. Malazan. If she’d violated him….

Rheaghan read the tension in my body, shaking his head subtly. “The torture is not sexual in nature. The mate bond forbids such a thing, and my sister is no fool as to tempt the wrath of the Fates. But sex and violence are not so far apart for Malazan. The latter is merely her form of foreplay, so after she’s done with him, she is in the habit of making Caldris watch as she fucks another one of Mab’s children. The guilt of that alone is worse than the physical pain.”

The throne room disappeared, swept out from under me. There was no music, no dancing around me. Only the memory of watching Lord Byron fuck the Ladies of the Night—watching them service him. At the time, I hadn’t known he was exposing me to the things he liked—the things he would expect of me one day. It hadn’t made it easier to deal with.

I was going to be sick.

“Breathe,” Rheaghan murmured, that soothing hand working to keep my nausea at bay.

“I haven’t felt his pain through the mate bond,” I said, shaking my head. It wasn’t possible. If Caldris had been suffering, I would have felt it.

“He’s had centuries to master closing himself off from those around him. Closing himself off from you is another part of that. I imagine you’ve discovered hints of how to do it. Is it so hard to imagine he can do the same with you? That he would do it to protect you?” Rheaghan asked, his voice quiet.

Anger rushed through me, a sudden, vicious need to make them bleed coursing through my veins. The monster within me roared, having connected with his so intimately only the night before—all while he was feeding me yet another lie.

“What does Mab gain from this? If she wants to punish me, then surely, I need to know about it.”

Rheaghan’s voice became monotone, resignation leaking from him as he pulled back to stare down at me. “You’re thinking too short term. Mab is always playing the long game. Her greatest interest lies in driving a wedge between you and Caldris. If she can control the narrative, determine when you learn of the suffering you’ve caused and the secret he’s kept from you…”

“She can make me lose my trust in him,” I said, running my tongue over my teeth.

My feet still moved in the habit of the dance, but my mind was on the queen sitting on the throne. I was too busy imagining all the ways I would kill her and her friend for what they’d done.

“Especially given that Caldris has been in a room while a woman he’s been intimate with has gotten naked and fucked someone while he’s made to watch—”

“He wasn’t intimate with her,” I snapped, my tone leaving no room for argument. “She raped him, and she violated him. There is no intimacy in that.”

Rheaghan studied me for a moment before he nodded, conceding my point. “Fair enough.”

I sighed, resisting the urge to hang my head as I tried not to let on what I knew. I didn’t know what to do with the new information, but for once I needed to think it through. “I don’t understand why he would keep this from me.”

“It was the only way my sister would agree to the deal. The devastation on your face was always her end goal. She cannot break you when you two stand united against her, but if she can convince you that you’re alone, she could stand a chance,” he explained, spinning me in a circle as the music shifted to something more upbeat. He leaned in again when I came around to face him once more. “Play the long game if you want to win. Cunning over wrath.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek and cleared my throat. “Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked, a knot forming in my belly. If it was a lie, all one of Mab’s games, behaving rashly could be playing into her trap. I listened intently, tilting my head to the side as I waited for his response.