What Lurks Between the Fates (Of Flesh & Bone, #3)(95)

“You didn’t do it,” he said, his nostrils flaring as his chest shook with silent laughter.

“How could I kill you when you whispered such pretty words to me?” I asked, my words far lighter than I felt inside.

Even with the laughter shaking his chest, that sadness lurked in his eyes as he watched me, stepping toward me. He stopped just in front of me but made no move to touch me as he blew out a breath.

“I want more for you. I have lived for centuries, and this is all I’ve known. These walls and the cage wrapped around my heart have overshadowed my entire existence. Before you were born, I used to go to the hilltop and stare up at the stars,” he said, raising a hand to capture my chin between two fingers.

I smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean I needed more declarations of love,” I said in an attempt to lessen his intensity.

“Quiet, min asteren,” he said, the command soft but not lacking in authority.

I clamped my mouth shut, blinking up at him as he captured his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I wondered why I existed, if this is all there was for me. There had to be a reason my parents came together against the odds. There needed to be a reason I was a God when it went against the natural order of things. What good did that power do me when I was taken before I could speak?”

“Caldris,” I protested, trying to turn my gaze away from him.

He held me still, pinning me with that icy intensity as cold crept up my spine. The room filled with the vestiges of his power. From the corner of my eye, I caught frost sliding along the walls.

“You are my reason, Estrella,” he said.

I pinched my eyes closed to fight the torrent of emotions surging down the bond. The love that struck me in the chest, that poured off him in the silence where he stared down at me, waiting for me to open my eyes, was unfathomable.

“You are my reason for every breath. The reason every day I have spent as a prisoner has been worth it. Because it brought me to you.” He leaned forward, touching his forehead to mine as his head shifted to the side. Pain twisted his face, his thumb stroking over my jaw as he willed me to see. His voice broke as he murmured the next words, the sacrifice he would make for me. “That is why you have to go. I cannot let this be for nothing.”

“I’m not going to leave you,” I said softly, tailoring my voice to the difficulty he’d had in making the concession. In choosing to set me free while he lived a life of captivity, knowing full well he may never see me again.

He dropped his hand, stepping away as his body tensed. I turned from him, striding back toward his bed. This hadn’t been what I’d wanted when I came to him tonight.

“They thought it was me who could rise up to fight Mab, but it isn’t. If it hasn’t happened for centuries, it isn’t going to now. You are Alfheimr’s only hope for salvation—”

“Then let it burn!” I snapped, whirling around to glare at him.

My chest heaved with my heavy breaths as his shocked stare met mine. Never before had I spoken the traitorous thoughts in my head; had I told him just how much I was willing to ruin my soul for him.

“What good is it if it doesn’t have you?”

He blinked at me rapidly, as if he couldn’t quite believe the words I’d spoken. I’d always wanted to save every life. To protect the weak from those who sought to break them.

“You don’t mean that,” he said finally, raising his brows as he shook his head subtly.

“I didn’t understand when you said you would let the world die if it meant I could survive the wreckage. I hadn’t let myself love you… not like this,” I explained, stepping toward him slowly. My bottom lip trembled, this confession feeling different from all the others. “But I do now.”

I reached up, cupping his cheek as he stared down at me. “I would sacrifice everyone if it meant I had you,” I said, pulling his face down so that I could brush my lips against his. “So do not ever ask me to leave you. Never again.”

He sighed as he pinched his brow between two fingers. “My star…”

“Don’t,” I said, making my way to his bed.

I brushed off the emotion clogging my heart, shoving it down to salvage what I could of our night together. With my ability to shadow walk, I hoped they wouldn’t be limited any longer, but I had no control over when Mab collared me—or when she didn’t.

I would take what I could when it came to the male who stared at me in disbelief. I dropped down onto the edge of the bed, pulling my nightgown up inch by inch so that my calves showed as I crossed my legs.

“We both know I’m not leaving.”

My mate’s eyes dropped to the exposed flesh, his head tilting to the side as that animalistic desire spread over his face and washed away all traces of sadness.

“We could spend the night arguing about something you will not change my mind about, or we could…”

“You escaped the prison of your room because you wanted my cock?” he asked, but his feet had already moved, bringing him closer. He paused in front of me, staring down at me as he reached out with a single hand. His thumb stroked my cheek, making a single sweep over my skin as he curled his fingers beneath my chin.

“Not just your cock,” I said, nearly breathless. He’d barely touched me, barely even shifted his attention away from our argument. But even still, heat gathered between my thighs. “I want your mouth too.”