What Lies Beyond the Veil(Of Flesh & Bone #1)(81)
At the end of Anne of Green Gables, Anne had to say good-bye, too. The whole book was bout Anne settling into Green Gables—her first real home and real family. A happy story that you figure would have a happy ending. But in the end, Matthew died of a heart attack, and Anne gave up her own dreams to stay in Green Gables with Marilla. Our ending here in Lansing ain’t like that ending, cause ain’t nobody died, cept Daddy, which somehow feels like a long time ago. And instead of staying, we gotta leave. But even though it’s hard to leave, it’s probably for the best like Granddaddy said. He already tried holding Momma back once; now it’s time for him to let her go. And who knows, maybe this will be our own version of a happy ending.
As N. Rutherford fades away in the rearview mirror, I worry that I ain’t ever gon’ see this house again. I think back to the beginning of the summer and wonder if Momma was right when she said we’d be thankful. There was a lot of bad this summer, but a lot of good, too, and I think I needed it all. Just like Anne, I done lost a little and gained a lot more. I look out the window and try to memorize everything I see. It’s daytime, so ain’t no last firefly for me to learn by heart. Everything that happened here is only a memory now, but I finally understand that that don’t mean it’s gone for good. The memories always come back to us, right when we need ’em. At the beginning of the summer, I ain’t even know how to catch a firefly. I smile to myself, cause now I can catch a firefly, and I can hold on, too.
I look over at Nia, still with headphones on her ears. She sees me looking and pulls ’em off, then hands ’em to me with a smile. I smile back, then cross my eyes and stick out my tongue to make her laugh. Just like our Good Times nights, before Daddy took that TV away. Before them stairs and all them secrets. And before me and Nia almost lost each other. Nia snorts, a habit now, then we both giggle. We laugh and laugh, cause finally, we can.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
When I was a little Black girl growing up in Detroit, I had a ton of questions all the time, and thought I could fix everything, just like KB. I spent a lot of time obsessing over what I thought a “perfect” family should look like. I wondered why my life didn’t look like the lives of the people in the stories I read. For a long time, I thought something was wrong with my life. Now I know that there was something wrong with those stories.
This book was born from a desire to show Black girlhood at its best, at its worst, at its most dull and most exciting. It was written and revised over the course of six years, beginning as a short story in a fiction workshop during my MA at Belmont University in 2014. I am thankful to the people and places who were a part of the origin of this story, whether they meant to be or not.
Much gratitude to my wonderful agent, Ayesha Pande, who sent me such a beautiful letter after reading the manuscript for the first time and has been convincing me of my talents ever since. Thank you for always fighting for the things you know matter most to me. You and everyone at APL make me feel so welcome and loved, and it is more than I dared to expect at the beginning of all this.
Many, many thanks to Amber Oliver, who is the fierce and passionate editor I always hoped for. Whenever we’re together, the #blackgirlmagic is overflowing. I’m so grateful to have worked with you, learned from you, and been a part of your Tiny Rep journey. And speaking of . . . I am forever grateful for and fangirling over the one and only Phoebe Robinson. Your vision and dedication to the imprint impresses me daily. The entire team at Tiny Reparations Books has regularly made me feel seen, valued, and empowered. And a special thank-you to the folks who helped make this book happen—Christine Ball, John Parsley, Stephanie Cooper, Amanda Walker, Jamie Knapp, Katie Taylor, Tiffani Ren, Samantha Srinivasan, LeeAnn Pemberton, Susan Schwartz, Kristin del Rosario, Tiffany Estreicher, Kaitlin Kall, Dominique Jones, and Ryan Richardson.
The best thing about the four years I spent in the PhD program at Western Michigan University was the people I met there. Beginning with my mentor, Thisbe Nissen, who has been fighting fiercely for me since before we met. Thank you for encouraging me, teaching me, loving me. I am immensely better for having met you. Thank you to the folks I workshopped with, my first real readers, and especially Nicole, Chad, Cody, Deb, Ariel, Tim, and Samantha. I am also thankful for my faculty mentors—John Saillant, Meghann Meussen, Staci Perryman-Clark, and Allen Webb—for being the advocates and allies I needed.
I am blessed to have my very own ride-or-die bosom buddies. Christina, Sydney, and Marissa, thanks for being the type of friends who will show up for me, tell me when I’m wrong, and love me through it all. To my HWW Doctianas—Suban, Sophia, Lisa—as soon as we met, I knew y’all would be squad for life. And my Face Off sisters: thank you for being there during the toughest and most exciting parts of my journey and celebrating me along the way.
Special thanks to: Leah, for helping me find my way (and find the right opening for this book). Corri, for the motivation and friendship. Al, for being the first person to read the entire book and encouraging me to tweet during #PitMad. Meg and Audrey, for reading my work and letting me read yours. Teya, for the love and support. Annette Sisson, for the encouragement and leadership, and Gary McDowell, for the bolstering friendship. Ali Herring, for being the first agent to believe in me and this book. And last but not least, the WTFK Street Team, for holding me down!
I must pay homage to my literary inspirations: Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Jesmyn Ward, Zora Neale Hurston. Without you, there is no me. Thank you for showing me the way. Nicole Dennis-Benn and Danielle Evans, thank you for personally welcoming me into the club. Much love to Laura Pegram at Kweli for believing in this story (and me) from the beginning. I am also grateful to the folks I met as a VONA/Voices fellow, and especially Faith Adiele.