Well Met(53)

He dropped my hand abruptly, as though suddenly remembering that we weren’t people who held hands with each other. “It’s all I have left of him.” He looked at me for the first time now, his eyes shining with tears that had gathered but he’d denied. “Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have these summers. It’s almost like he’s still here. What happens if it changes too much, and it’s not the way he left it? What happens if it ends? But then sometimes I don’t . . .” Simon shook his head hard, dismissing that last thought before he could voice it. He ran a restless hand through his hair before clearing his throat and turning his attention to me. “You know what I mean, though, right? You have an older sister. I’m sure you feel the same way about her.”

He looked so hopeful that I hated to disappoint him. “April and I aren’t really like that.” I shrugged. “I think it’s the age difference. I was an afterthought baby, so she’s twelve years older. By the time I was old enough to be interesting she was already out of the house. College, getting married, having a kid. She wasn’t around to be a role model or anything. I mean, she’s my sister and I love her, but growing up we were never particularly close.”

His brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. You’ve been here ever since her accident. Didn’t you basically drop your whole life in order to help her out?”

“My whole life.” I tried for a small laugh, but it came out much more bitter than I’d expected. “There wasn’t anything to drop.” I’d made the joke before to April, and making it again now didn’t make it any funnier, or any less painful to say out loud. “The only thing I had going for me was my English degree, and . . .” I sighed. “You already know how that ended.” I tried to sound casual, but the sting of our conversation from a few weeks back was still fresh. I could still see the disappointment in his face when he’d learned I hadn’t finished college.

He nodded carefully. “You dropped out of school.” His voice held no judgment, which surprised me. But he still didn’t know the whole story, and since we were sharing confessions . . . what the hell.

“My boyfriend, Jake, had gotten into law school. But it’s expensive, and it’s hard. He had a lot of work ahead of him. Studying, clerking. So we made a deal. I’d drop out and support him, and when he passed the bar and got a job it would be my turn.”

Simon had drawn back a little when I’d mentioned having a boyfriend, but something in my tone of voice must have alerted him that the story didn’t have a happy ending, because his face darkened a little. “And what happened when it was your turn?”

My bitter laugh turned shaky, and even though I blinked hard a tear still hit my cheek. “Turns out a big-city attorney doesn’t need a college dropout around anymore.”

“So he dumped you? But he’s the reason you dropped out in the first place.” He put a hand to the ground like he was going to push to his feet, maybe go find Jake and give him a little talking-to. Maybe one that involved his fists. “He can’t just . . .”

I reached out, put my hand over his but didn’t let it linger. I couldn’t bear it if he pulled away from me again. “It’s okay.” I considered that. “I mean, it’s not okay, obviously. It was a shit thing to do. But I’m okay. At least I’m better than I was this spring.” I remembered the girl who’d arrived in Willow Creek with everything she owned packed in the back of a white Jeep. I’d been worried then about my sister, sure. But I’d been worried about me too. “I was pretty lost then.”

A clang of metal in the distance got our attention, and it brought us back to ourselves and to Faire. Time to start the day. Simon hopped easily to his feet and held a hand down to me. I gratefully took it, since getting up from the ground while strapped into this outfit was not a graceful endeavor.

Once we were both on our feet we made our way back to the main lane. I lingered at a jeweler’s booth to examine a hanging display of crystal pendants. They caught the light and made rainbows on the tree behind the booth. When I glanced back again I saw Simon was waiting for me when I’d expected him to walk on ahead. But instead he was watching me watch the crystals, a thoughtful look on his face.

“How did you know?” he asked as I fell into step next to him again.

“Hmm?”

“How did you know I’m twenty-seven? I don’t remember that coming up before.”

“Oh. Mitch told me.”

Simon’s step faltered for a second, but he recovered smoothly. “Mitch,” he repeated. All the life had gone out of his voice. “Right, yeah. Mitch.”

“I’m sorry. Are you two not friends?” Had I said something wrong? I was getting that feeling again—like I was stepping into a web of long-term, intertwined relationships without a scorecard, and I was blundering around making mistakes. “He said you’d known each other a long time.”

“Oh, yeah. Since we were kids. I’ve known him forever.” But his mouth twisted like he’d sucked on a lemon. “You two look good together.”

“What?” I blinked at the non sequitur, but before I could ask what he meant we’d arrived at the tavern, where Stacey was setting up for the day with Jamie and the other red-shirted volunteers.