Waiting for Willa (Big Sky, #3)(9)

“I was seventeen, Max. Of course, I thought it was me. You were gone, and Cary missed you, too. We definitely leaned on each other through that, and I fell in love with him, and we built a life together. But I never shook my anger for you. And then, you came back out of the blue, and, well, you know the rest.”

“Your husband died on my watch,” he finishes.

“Yeah. Men leave me, Max.” I gasp, mortified that I said it out loud, but Max just narrows his eyes in curiosity.

“Keep going.”

“Is this therapy with Cary?” I ask, hoping to change the subject.

“You said it was a good place for it,” he reminds me. “Are you too cold?”

“No.” I sniff, the chill in the air making my nose drip. “I was close to my gramps,” I remind him. “And he died. Then you left. My daddy died a couple years later.”

“I liked your dad very much,” Max says.

“He liked you, too,” I whisper. “Then Cary.”

“I always planned to come back,” Max admits, surprising me. “For you.”

“What?”

“I thought that once I left for college, you’d miss me enough that when I came back for your graduation, I could talk you into leaving with me. I realize that was a stupid way of thinking.”

“You didn’t come back.”

“When I spoke with Cary, he told me that he was dating you, and after you graduated, he asked you to marry him.”

“I didn’t know,” I murmur, listening to the train whistle.

“Would it have changed anything?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “I still wouldn’t have wanted to move away from Cunningham Falls, so, maybe not.”

“I guess it’s a waste of time to think about what-ifs.”

“If it had changed things, I wouldn’t have Alex, and I wouldn’t wish him away for anything.”

“He’s a great kid. He looks just like Cary.”

“I know.” I smile, thinking about my handsome boy. “He even has some of the same mannerisms, which fascinates me because he never met Cary.”

“I’m sorry,” Max says, tears swimming in his brown eyes. “For all of it, Wills. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do.”

“I know,” I say and reach out to pat his shoulder. “I know that. And I’ve let go of a lot of the anger. I can’t be a happy woman and raise a well-rounded son if I dwell on the bad things. I’ve had some therapy, and I am content with my life.”

“I’m glad,” Max says with a nod. “You’ve done a great job with your store. All of the women rave about it.”

“Thank you. I love it. It’s what I always wanted.”

Except you, I think. I don’t have Max. But I have so much.

“I’m really glad that I ran into you here,” I say with a smile. “I needed to apologize, and I need for things to not be awkward between us. We have the same friends, and we move in the same circles.”

“I was staying away from you because you told me that’s what you wanted,” he says with a shrug.

“Well, now we’ve cleared the air.”

The train whistle blows once more.

“I’ve always thought the whistle was Cary talking to me.”

Max’s lips twitch. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. Stupid, isn’t it?”

“No. No, it’s not stupid.”

***

“I’m cold,” Alex says a few days later as we sit in my dead car on the side of the highway.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. The tow truck should be here anytime.”

“Why did the car die?” he asks.

Because the universe is out to get me today.

“I don’t know. We’ll have a mechanic look at it and fix it up.”

He sits back in the seat, hugging his coat to him. It’s dark outside, and I’m stranded on the side of the road with my almost-nine-year-old in a dead car. I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as when the vehicle lost power, but at least I was able to guide it off the road and avoid an accident.

“Maybe that’s the tow truck,” Alex says as someone pulls up behind us.

Wouldn’t a tow truck pull up in front of me?

“Maybe,” I murmur, watching in the mirror as the vehicle’s lights cut off, and a man gets out of the SUV, walking to mine. “It’s Max.”

“He drives a tow truck?” Alex asks, excitement in his voice. Alex loves all vehicles. I swear, he might be a tow truck driver someday.

“No, he doesn’t.” Max knocks on my window, and I open the door. “Hi.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s dead. I’m waiting for the tow truck.”

“Come sit in my car,” he offers. “It’s warmer.”

I would decline, but my son is shivering, so I nod. “Thanks. Come on, buddy, Max is going to let us warm up in his car.”

“Awesome,” Alex says, immediately jumping out.

“Go get him,” I say in a panic, and Max is already gone, taking Alex by the hand and leading him to the back of his Mercedes SUV. “Thanks,” I say when I get in the passenger side.