Unhinged(Necessary Evils #1)(40)
“I know you’re mine. I know it. Deep down, in that part of my brain that doesn’t care what is right or how society dictates how people choose a mate. I chose you. I want you. Just you. My brain has picked you, and now, I can’t undo it. You’re trapped. With me. For life.”
Noah’s heart hammered in his chest. “Nobody has ever picked me. Most people don’t even notice me—”
“Bullshit,” Adam said, shaking his head.
Noah gave a half smile. “It’s partially my own fault. I never wanted to be noticed. In foster care, nothing good ever comes from standing out. That’s just the way it is.”
“That’s my fault.”
It wasn’t a question, just a blanket statement of guilt, like he knew he should feel bad, even though he wasn’t capable.
Noah sighed. “I’d already been through the worst things in my life. I was just lucky enough not to remember. I don’t know if I’ll stay lucky, though. I’ve been having nightmares, flashes of memories. I keep them out of my head with pills and booze, but, eventually, they’re going to break free. And I don’t know who I’ll be after that happens. So, you should be careful of the promises you make.”
Adam dropped his head, kissing Noah softly. “The thing about being raised in a house full of psychopaths? We’re pretty accepting of other people’s crazy. I think I’ll be alright.”
Noah didn’t know what any of this meant long term. Maybe Adam would tire of him, maybe he wouldn’t. It was all lip service until they both just did the hard work of staying, of making it happen. There were people in arranged marriages who stayed together for years. Who was to say Adam and Noah couldn’t make their relationship work off of kinky sex and a shared understanding that neither of them would ever be mentally sound?
“I’m hungry,” Noah said, needing to break the tension.
“Do you like Greek food? There’s a twenty-four hour place that delivers.”
Noah nodded. “Yeah, that sounds amazing.”
Adam jumped up, padding naked down the stairs, probably to find his phone. Noah rolled over and buried his face in Adam’s pillow, inhaling deeply. This was definitely an upgrade from the trailer.
They ate sitting cross-legged on Adam’s bed, both of them sharing bits of food with the other. There was plenty to choose from as Adam had ordered what looked like half the menu to the house. After the dishes were cleared away and they were both stuffed, they lay in bed, in the dark, Noah’s head on Adam’s thigh as he combed fingers through his hair.
"Can I ask you something?”
Noah startled as Adam’s words broke the silence. Between his full belly and recent orgasm, he was practically in a food coma, lingering somewhere between sleeping and awake. He blinked his eyes open, struggling to adjust to the darkness. It was a moonless night and not even the glow from the kitchen downstairs could penetrate the shadows of the loft.
“Sure,” he mumbled, snagging Adam’s free hand and playing with his fingers.
“How’d you find me?”
Noah’s heart rate shot up. It was only a matter of time before Adam’s curiosity got the best of him, but still, Noah hesitated to say it out loud, though he had no reason to hide his detective skills. “Does it matter?”
“Yeah, of course, it does. We’re so careful at covering our tracks. It would be good to know if we’re missing something,” Adam reasoned.
Noah sighed. “Yeah, but you have to remember, I had something others didn’t… I saw you.”
There was a long silence. “What?”
“I saw you running away. Before I found my dad. I didn’t get a good look. You left the front door wide open. I went to close it and you were taking off down the stairs. You turned around and glanced back over your shoulder for just a second.”
“There’s no way you could have found me off a split-second glance over my shoulder. You were ten.” Adam sounded breathless but skeptical.
Noah laughed softly. “The cops didn’t think so either. They grilled me for hours, trying to get information out of me. They were frustrated by my limited details. When I told them you were a kid, they didn’t believe me. They said no kid would leave a crime scene that clean.” When Adam didn’t interrupt, Noah shook his head. “You’re gloating over that, aren’t you?”
“A little. Yeah. It’s nice to know my attention to detail is appreciated. My brothers seem to think I’m reckless.” There was a story there, but Noah wasn’t sure he wanted to probe further just yet. “So, how did you go from barely being able to describe me to hunting me down in a warehouse?”
“I didn’t, at first. For eight years, I just focused on survival. Foster care sucked. I blamed you. Fixated on who you were, why you did it. Figured maybe you were some street kid or a former student of my dad’s. Thought maybe you were a junkie. When I aged out of the system, I went to the cops to ask about my father’s case. By then, it was a cold case. It took forever to even get somebody to return my calls.”
Noah didn’t know why talking about this made his stomach dip, but when Adam laced their fingers together, he felt like crying.
“Keep going,” Adam said.
Noah sighed. “They had CCTV footage that they’d pulled from the bank and a corner store. I begged the detective to let me watch it. She told me it was useless because there were no faces, just people’s backs and side profiles. She eventually caved. I guess the idea of closing a decade old case won out. The bank footage was useless, but then, I saw you. On the footage from the corner store. You’d changed your clothes and you’d even obscured your face from the camera, but I just knew it was you. Something about the way you walked just clicked in my head.”